Do I deserve this? I'm banned from Marks and Spencers nationally!

[kandymouse]

I went shopping at my local M&S. I got some milk, bread, eggs etc.. of course with my buggy. I pay then I go out of the store..then a man comes and wants to come to their security office. Then I look down on my buggy and realize that there is a magazine that I forgot to pay for so then I apologize and ask him if he called me in for that. And there is him and another woman and a man (three people).. and he says that from now on I'm banned from M & S nationwide. They also call the police so they come down to the office and they tell M & S they can't put me on a criminal charge and just takes my name address and phone number. I thought this was a bit much. I'm extremely upset and I don't know what to do. Now they made me leave the shop with letter that I'm banned nationally from all M&S.

Couple of points from my past life as a retail manager...

People ring up head offices all the time 'threatening to report it to the media' it really doesn't make much difference. The media also get hundreds of calls complaining about they way they've been treated by a big name store etc. It has to be something quite special for them to pay any attention.

M&S like most other big stores share photo images of people barred with all of their branches. Security guards, staff etc then keep an eye out.

Hope you feel a bit better soon - again, as it was a genuine mistake you should follow it up with their Head Office but I'd leave it till you feel a bit less upset.

Not very helpful, but I love this Ian Dury song about a genuine magazine thief and a rather more sensible security man:

In my yellow jersey, I went out on the nick.
South Street Romford, shopping arcade
Got a Razzle magazine, I never paid
Inside my jacket and away double quick.
Good sense told me, once was enough
But I had a cocky eye on more of this stuff
With the Razzle in my pocket, back to have another peek

Instead of being sneeky I strolled inside,
I put my thieving hand on something rude
I walked right out with a silhouette of nudes
'Hold on sonny' said a voice at my side
'I think you've taken one of my books'
Passers by gave me dirty looks
'Not me mister' I bravely lied

We stopped by the window of a jeweller's shop
'If it's money for your lunch, I'd have given you a loan
Have you got any form, were you on your own?
Round to the station and we'll tell the cops'
'I'm ever so ashamed, it was wicked and rash
Here's the book back, and here's the cash
I never stole before, I promise I'll stop'

'Crime doesn't pay, you've got honest eyes
If we go to the law another thief is born
And I'll get the book back, creased and torn
So return what you've taken and apologise'
I gave him back his nudie book
I said I was sorry, I slung my hook
With the Razzle in my pocket as the second prize

Hi I think you should appeal. Assuming you dont have any convictions/history of this sort of thing. And if it was only one magazine when you paid for everything else and you didnt hide it under the buggy or anything I am that they reacted like that.

Do you know any local people especially "pillars of the community" types who can support your appeal - character references etc.

Are you the sort of person who keeps receipts - or puts things on cards and has statements for them - can you show that you shop there regularly and have paid for lots of things in the past.

Maybe ask for a meeting with the store manager and take someone with you for support.

Hope you sort it out - I would be really upset too if it was me.

Hmm... I'm a bit undecided on this. From their point of view you have taken the magazine without paying. I'm sure it is very common for people to pay for some items and not for others, so I don't think the fact you paid for the rest of your items is relevant. On the other hand it is very easy to genuinely forget about items. I wouldn't worry about the ban anyway. In reality your name will probably be noted and if you ever did make the same mistake in M & S again they would probably prosecute.

it does seem an overreaction, but

it's actually extremely common for shoplifters to go into shops with buggies and put the items they intend to lift on the buggy. Chances are you were caught on cctv picking up the magazine, putting it on the buggy, going to the till to pay for other items and then walking out of the shop with the unpaid for magazine. Purchasing an item when you're a shoplifter is also not uncommon unfortunately as shoplifters want to draw as little attention to themselves as possible so if they're seen on cctv paying for items, then there's always a chance they will be able to walk out of the store with stolen items.

I would appeal when you've calmed down, but do bear in mind that technically m&s security haven't actually done anything wrong, whereas you did leave the shop without paying for something which technically is theft.

so I would write a letter along the lines of that you understand that security need to do their jobs to ensure that criminals are not allowed to get away with shoplifting in their stores, but that this was merely an oversight on your part, and that you'd fully intended to pay for the magazine. And apologise for the oversight, because if you are seen to be admitting you were in the wrong to leave the store without paying (which you were), they are more likely to be lenient.

Agree major over reaction.

I have done it myself. I picked up a mg and tucked it under my arm while looking at other things, payed for the other things and was miles away before realising I still had the mag tucked under my arm.

Done it in Ikea too when I have found all sorts of little treasures tucked into the buggy by DD.

No you don't deserve this. M&S are overreacting! Sorry they are being such arse's to you.

I'd appeal against it, but maybe you should give yourself a few days to calm down before you write to them. Good luck.

I used to work for M&S and from what you say it does sound OTT- usually they make you pay for it and give a lecture about putting stuff in baskets rather than on buggys. If they didn't take your photo then there's no way that any other branch will even hear about it.

If they did take your picture and ban you then they send it to all the other stores and they have a list in the staff canteen with all the pics of people that are banned - but TBH I certainly wouldn't have recognised any of the banned people!

I have often done the very same, always return to shop and pay, very often haven't even left shop when i notice.

I would be mortified, bit of an over reaction though i think, especially if you offered to pay and explained what happened.

if the shops dont want you piling up your buggy with groceries they should offer a secure place to leave your buggy so you can use a trolly, i am sick of being followed around by security guards when getting shopping and it's not the easiest thing to do, going round a shop with a buggy!

I think the OP was treated unfairly btw, common sense would have told the security guards it was an innocent mistake.

Don't feel humiliated.

I walked out of Sainsburys with 6 bottles of champagne once. Really I did. It's easily done when you're trying to manage a squalling baby, handbag, shopping trolley etc.

Before anyone asks how I did this - I had it in a winebox at the front and had lifted all the shopping onto the conveyor belt apart from the wine when DD started crying.

No-one noticed. I realised when it came to loading the car and went back and paid. Just to tell you it is really easily done.

This happened to me in the M&S store in Cambridge about 8 years ago i was piled high with Xmas shopping and some perfume had fallen off onto DS1 who just held onto it

I got to the til forgot he had it, paid for my other bits (amounting to a fair bit) and walked out. A security guard charged after me, grabed my arm and marched me and DS1 back into the shop (which i though quite un-necessary and overzealous really!) but i was also banned form every M&S store for life

i never appealed and went back to the same store a few weeks later no one said anything to me and they never have, i still shop in them!

It is very easily done.

Fortunately I've only done it in my nice local Co-op where I can take it back in and apologise profusely and they thank me for coming back.

Very easily done - am always using the buggy to hold on to things that won't fit in the basket in the supermarket.

Definitely think it's worth a complaint to clear your name. Crazy that you should end up on some M & S most wanted list for this.

M & S having a lot of trouble at the moment - maybe they're having a crackdown on shoplifting as a result

(Threadworm I love that song too!)

Just seen Sparkles' post - must just be M & S policy to try and frighten customers away from life of petty crime.

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A friend of my friends mother was asked to go to the office in M&S once and they accused her of stealing her handbag that was indeed from M&S, she had bought it there the week before. She insisted that it was her bag and they refused to believe her and called the police and refused to let her leave whilst they waited for the police.
She was awarded 10 grand for being detained unlawfully or summat like that, it may have been something to do with the fact that she was a actually a judge

tellus - that's been my experience too. I've had to go back and admit my crime and they've always been ever so nice about it. Sainbury on one ocassion.

One of my friends at university stole a dummy leg from a shoe shop as a toddler in her pushchair. You know, the kind that they used to put stockings on. Her mother only noticed when they were half way home...

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Thank you so much for all the posts!! I did say I didn't want anything from the store, but they said I have to pay for the magazine so I paid for it and got out and told them I won't be coming back to the store anyway. It was completely innocent and I was in flood of tears and they didn't really listen to me and treated me as if I was some criminal...yuck I do feel much now. It was my fault that I wasn't really on the ball checking what I had and didn't pay for all of it..my brain was a big of fog (I have been known to lose many things and dropping money everywhere as I'm a bit of day dreamer..) I will write to them once I'm a bit calmer. Thank you all.

I did this in Wilko's once - put some face cream in the top of the buggy and forgot to pay. I was half way down the street when I realised, legged it back and the security alarm went off when I went back in!! Needless to say the security officer realised that I was returning to pay for the offending item and just laughed at my embarassment.

I do think the reaction is OTT but agree with WannaBe's post, you need to grovel a bit, after all you were in the wrong albeit unintentionally

This thread only confirms my feelings about M&S and shop security in general. What a shocking way to treat a paying customer.

I once overheard a customer in M&S saying something along the lines of "Lets go, I've had enough of this, we're being followed". Five mins later I realised I was being followed myself, HONESTLY can a lady not choose her undies in peace?

They were right to stop you, but should have been much more understanding. It's so easy to do, my little one is always grabbing things and I could easily leave a shop with something I shouldn't.

I did this with a pair of shoes in ASDA once but was way too embaressed to go back and pay for the