Children walking to school on their own

[Outofwater]

Since March I have been letting my two DC walk to their state primary school on their own some days. The DC1 is 9 (turns 10 in six weeks) and DC2 is 8.5. Both are fairly responsible children - never in trouble in school. They've been attending the same school since reception.

The location is inner suburb. The distance walked is about 400m. The first 200m or so is to the end of our road of terraced houses (without proper gardens, i.e. front doors of the houses are a couple of metres from the pavement) to a T-junction with a secondary high street. The next 150m is along the high street which has cafes, hairdressers, church, pizza, gym, then turn into the street the school is on (the school is not on the high street but is immediately behind the shops IYSWIM). It takes them 7-10 minutes, depending on how fast they walk and long they have to wait for the pedestrian crossing (see below). The school has a very small catchment (one form entry) and so most children live quite close.

This evening DP and I received the following email from their headmistress (paraphrased and abbreviated):

"It has been brought to my attention that DC1 and DC2 are, on occasion, walking to school on their own. This has raised concern for a couple of reasons. Firstly, we do allow Year 5 children to travel to school on their own, but ask that parents let us know, in case a child doesn't arrive. Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, we are worried that DC1 is responsible for DC2, who is too young to be travelling to school without an adult. This raises safeguarding concerns."

I had a similar sort of walk to school in a fairly similar setting in the European country where I grew up. At DC1's age I also taking my younger sister with whom there was a much bigger age gap (3.5 years rather than 1.5 years) and going to her school first, dropping her off, and then going to my school.

I think given the ages of the girls the email is a bit over the top, particularly the bit about leaving D1 responsibility for D2. There's only 17 months between them and it's common for people to think they're twins. There is obviously a maturity gap between them but (unlike my childhood experience) it's very much two sisters walking to school together compared with one taking the other to school.

TBH I wouldn't be comfortable with either DC walking to school on their own but I'm much more relaxed about them walking together. I looked on the school website for policies and read everything that is there - but there is nothing about journey to school. I'm sure if I asked I would be told that it is "generally understood" or was in a newsletter that I got at some stage in the year.

I spoke with both DCs about the email and DC2 suggested the headmistress had sent the email to cover herself from liability (DC2 is a cynical one).

I'm fine to bring the DCs to school everyday but I really wanted to give them the sense of independence that I got walking on my own. If the school won't let DC2 walk to school until Y5 DC1 will have gone to secondary so DC1 and DC2 will never get the chance to walk to school on their own. I do think the email is a bit OTT, especially the reference to safeguarding which I read as the implicit threat of being reported to social services if I don't do what they tell me.

The better part of me says to just suck it up and accept it and that's what I will do. However, I wanted to get thoughts on whether I am way out of line with social norms.

So one child in year 4 and one in year 5?

I've learnt from MN that this varies massively from area to area.

My DCs primary school didn't let them walk home alone (and therefore it was also implied that they couldn't walk to school alone either) until year 6. The new head that came just after DS2 left changed this to the last term of year 6. Which is bonkers imo. It leaves hardly any time to get them used to walking alone before secondary.
I got caught in traffic once and they wouldn't let year 8 DC1 (12 years old) pick up year 5 DC2 (10 years old)

I’m unsure what safeguarding concerns they are referring to? I would ask them to clarify this, also what does this mean for you.

Personally, I would have a huge issue with the schools email, firstly I don’t like being told what to do and secondly I wouldn’t like to be questioned on my parenting decisions as quite frankly it does not affect the school day.

Presumably the school would text or call of the child was absent from the morning class registration (I’m in Scotland so may be different) as that’s what our school do if I forget to call in to say they will be absent.

So no I would not be happy with that email and I would be replying as such.

Well I think it’s fine. What is the head planning to do exactly?

Also meant to add.

Our school (again in Scotland) has no such policy in place re children walking to school.

Usually children do not walk to primary school without an adult. Its also wrong for a young child to be responsible for another.

However....it is not so much how mature your children are but other people around them. How would you feel, and more importantly your child feel, if one of them was snatched? Even a small woman can be defenseless against a man but at least she would be aware of the dangers and wouldn't put herself at unnecessary risk (ie approaching a cars open window). There are cctv videos where children have been pulled in that way.

Surely though that’s up to the parents to weigh up these risks based on many factors including maturity, distance to school, area they live in.
Every day we weigh up risks and make decisions. Why should the school be involved in this one?

At our school Y5 and Y6 are permitted to walk to school (ie. not have an adult hand them over).

DD done it since Y5. She is ALWAYS with at least 1 other child but there are usually 3 and sometimes 4 together. All live on the same street, nice and sensible kids. 1/2 mile away from school.

I think they are fine to walk together and the school is being over the top. Like you I walked a longer distance (1km) at a younger age (5) and so did all of the other kids I grew up with. And I think it's much better for children to have independence of that kind when their parents think they are ready.

I would also say that this kind of unwritten policy seems to be common now. Often due to what are fundamentally liability concerns.

I would be inclined to tell them to butt out, I'd probably demand to see the policy and ask on what authority they feel they can dictate how parents send kids to school.

"How would you feel, and more importantly your child feel, if one of them was snatched? Even a small woman can be defenseless against a man but at least she would be aware of the dangers and wouldn't put herself at unnecessary risk (ie approaching a cars open window)."

But in London once DC go to secondary school most of them are doing all/part of the journey on their own - journeys much longer than 400m. I'm not saying that there's not a risk. There's always a risk. I feel the risk is significantly less for the two DC2 together at their age than for a child of 11 on his/her own. The nature of the two roads they walk also means the risk is low. On our road houses are right on the road so if they scream someone will definitely hear them - we know the families in every third house. On the main road a car cannot stop so no issue and there are lots of other people around. I'm not sure it could be any lower risk.

Two issues here:

1. Is the walk in that area safe for children that age? Only you can assess this. We’ve had problems with men flashing little girls walking to school in my (otherwise civilised) area 🤢
2. On what basis does the school think they can tell parents and children what to do outside school hours? I’ve been startled how often pimary schools hand out orders to parents, they don’t seem to realise that parents don’t actually work for the school.

Rather than getting into details of the route and child ages, I’d ask the head why she thinks school policies are relevant to what your family does outside school hours away from the school site. But do bear in mind that she means well and is probably genuinely worried about the children. I know that ‘in our day’ we often walked to school alone from age seven - but the reason that stopped is because there were so many unpleasant incidents of one kind or another.

I'm 30. When I was a kid, everyone walked with their parents in primary 1 but after that, your formed a group with friends you lived nearby and walked together without an adult.

I've just done the same. Our school has no rules about it and they dont check who a child got there with. At home time, primary 1 kids are handed over to a parent but once they move into primary 2, they're just let out the gate without teachers looking for an adult.

No child has ever gone missing/been abducted/etc.

Your school sounds nuts.

It's about the school year (although I agree it's absurd). Here, it's year 5 but you have to let them know. Actually that said, I don't think they care in the mornings. They don't know. It's only after school.

How can they mandate that parents supervise children getting to school?

@Starlight86

"Every day we weigh up risks and make decisions. Why should the school be involved in this one?"

Because it involves the safeguarding of one of their pupils.

Where I live cars take no notice of pedestrian crossings, especially in the morning rush. There's been lots of children killed on them, nationally. The older one is being put in charge. The answer is to walk behind them and meet up as they go into school.

There was a famous case probably 20 to 25 or more years ago where a boy was murdered after being abducted on his way to school. No one let his parents know he hadn't turned up so no one looked for him until after the school day finished.

After that primary schools clamped down on children walking without an adult and started keeping registers of independent travellers so they would be alert if they didn't turn up in the mornings. At my school we restricted it to year 6, but we do now include year 5s. They are not allowed to supervise younger siblings though. I think it's pretty common - certainly in this area.

So one year 5, one year 4. School policy seems to be yr 5 up so you’ve had an email.
I think point about letting them know is sensible then secretary can contact you first if they haven’t arrived as it’s more of a concern.
If you judge yr 4 fine to walk alone then they can’t stop you. Personally I think yr 4 is too young and you are expecting older to mind them if you wouldn’t send yr 4 alone. I suppose if you reply you are happy with decision to send yr 4 alone they may refer to ss.
The crossing would worry me it doesn’t sound like there’s a school crossing patrol (lollipop lady) just a zebra. Children under 11 can’t judge traffic speed.
Children only walk from yr 6 near me and that’s from housing estate to close school no roads etc. I wouldn’t expect to see an 8 year old walking alone.

@Neverreturntoathread, it started when school became about the whole child and could start and supervise a Child in need plan upto second tier. What happens outside of school impacts on the child, so they can raise concerns and put policies in place. The Heads are given freedom so they can make decisions based on the demographic of the school. These can be challenged.

At 8.5 OP’s DC2 will be Y3 and I think that is too young to be walking to school with DC1. It is likely DC1 will feel responsible for DC2 even though you say they aren’t taking DC2 to school but walking with.

I walked to and from school age 8. I cut across a park. My mum wanted me to go with neighbour but I disliked her daughter so persuaded mum I was ok. It was a different era then. I can remember seeing knickers discarded in the park bushes and being confused!

You can not be sure if a parent brings a child TO school, but we don't allow any to go home unaccompanied by an adult unless they are on our independent travellers list.

My school also had a policy that no year 5s could be responsible for a year 4 safely getting to school, regardless of the route. If parents weren't happy about that, the school let SS know so that if anything happened the school wouldn't be facing negligence charges or a civil case from the parents etc.

I checked school policy on 5his a couple of weeks ago as we live just across the road from school, it takes 3 minutes to get from my doorstep to DDs classroom door. She's year 3 and I'm not ready for her to go to school by herself yet but she's asked a few times so I wanted to know what the 'rules' are. They have to be 10 yrs old and we have to fill out a form notifying school that she will be travelling in alone.

Sounds like every school has their own policy so would have been better for you to check with them first, but now you know so just wait till September.

That would be too young round here and 8 and 9 sounds too young to me. My 8 year old isn’t walking to school alone and won’t be for some time. It does sound like a quicker and safer route than ours though. The school have a duty to ensure the safety of children so the email sounds reasonable to me.

Not allowed to walk to school on their own until year 6 in my kids school. Saying that I don’t even let DC 10 and 8 go to the shop 5 mins walk away, too young imo so I do think yours are too young and wouldn’t allow it personally.

I as walking to school at aged 6/7 with a friend. I'm horrified that was considered ok. It's a short journey and I think independence is good but I'd worry that the older one feels responsible and that's possibly problematic. I'm torn tbh. Are there any other friends they can walk with as well?