Children walking to school on their own

[Outofwater]

Since March I have been letting my two DC walk to their state primary school on their own some days. The DC1 is 9 (turns 10 in six weeks) and DC2 is 8.5. Both are fairly responsible children - never in trouble in school. They've been attending the same school since reception.

The location is inner suburb. The distance walked is about 400m. The first 200m or so is to the end of our road of terraced houses (without proper gardens, i.e. front doors of the houses are a couple of metres from the pavement) to a T-junction with a secondary high street. The next 150m is along the high street which has cafes, hairdressers, church, pizza, gym, then turn into the street the school is on (the school is not on the high street but is immediately behind the shops IYSWIM). It takes them 7-10 minutes, depending on how fast they walk and long they have to wait for the pedestrian crossing (see below). The school has a very small catchment (one form entry) and so most children live quite close.

This evening DP and I received the following email from their headmistress (paraphrased and abbreviated):

"It has been brought to my attention that DC1 and DC2 are, on occasion, walking to school on their own. This has raised concern for a couple of reasons. Firstly, we do allow Year 5 children to travel to school on their own, but ask that parents let us know, in case a child doesn't arrive. Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, we are worried that DC1 is responsible for DC2, who is too young to be travelling to school without an adult. This raises safeguarding concerns."

I had a similar sort of walk to school in a fairly similar setting in the European country where I grew up. At DC1's age I also taking my younger sister with whom there was a much bigger age gap (3.5 years rather than 1.5 years) and going to her school first, dropping her off, and then going to my school.

I think given the ages of the girls the email is a bit over the top, particularly the bit about leaving D1 responsibility for D2. There's only 17 months between them and it's common for people to think they're twins. There is obviously a maturity gap between them but (unlike my childhood experience) it's very much two sisters walking to school together compared with one taking the other to school.

TBH I wouldn't be comfortable with either DC walking to school on their own but I'm much more relaxed about them walking together. I looked on the school website for policies and read everything that is there - but there is nothing about journey to school. I'm sure if I asked I would be told that it is "generally understood" or was in a newsletter that I got at some stage in the year.

I spoke with both DCs about the email and DC2 suggested the headmistress had sent the email to cover herself from liability (DC2 is a cynical one).

I'm fine to bring the DCs to school everyday but I really wanted to give them the sense of independence that I got walking on my own. If the school won't let DC2 walk to school until Y5 DC1 will have gone to secondary so DC1 and DC2 will never get the chance to walk to school on their own. I do think the email is a bit OTT, especially the reference to safeguarding which I read as the implicit threat of being reported to social services if I don't do what they tell me.

The better part of me says to just suck it up and accept it and that's what I will do. However, I wanted to get thoughts on whether I am way out of line with social norms.

These threads about schools not allowing children to walk to or from school always amaze me. The school have no right to dictate. Send a letter to school telling them that your children will be walking to school and that you are happy as their parent for them to do so.

I am in Scotland and my DC have been at 2 different primary schools. Children are only handed directly from the teacher to an adult in P1 and P2, so YR and Y1.

This turns up with monotonous regularity, before school starts and after it finishes you have parental responsibility while at school they operate under "loco parentis" the school can raise safeguarding concerns but they have to be child and situation specific not blanket rules

SS are not interested in whether school has a Y5 Y6 or Y7 policy they are interested in is it safe for Child A to walk from home to school if home is 4 doors away from school it is unlikely to be a safe guarding concern even at age 7 however 3 miles on lanes alone for a 10 year old would be,
so 400 metres with a pedestrian crossing will have to be judged on whether it is actually a risk for OP's daughters not whether it is a risk for all kids their ages. Once you write to school stating clearly that Jane and Janet can walk to and from school alone they can't do much about it unless SS actually agree it is a serious risk. Safeguarding can be raised as a genuine concern or it can be raised as a veiled threat to try and get compliance, Children in the EU frequently walk to school alone from age 6-7 onwards, there is little if any difference in traffic, child harrassment etc, continental children are ot intrinsically any more or less mature at 7

WTAF? My six year old is very road safe but never in a million years would she go anywhere alone.

I just don't get why you wouldn't want to take direct care of them to ensure their safety for as long as possible?

Independence? They aren't independent, they are dependants. Why the obsession with making children independent? They'll be independent one day no matter what. Why the rush?

My concern is abduction, which happens, and a quiet middle class area with quiet middle class kids is ideal for a nice quiet abduction.

I just find it so strange. Keeping my child safe at all costs is the number one thing in my life.

It's way too young to be letting kids walk to school on their own.
When I was in Yr 6 I was allowed to walk to school and back with my sister in Yr 5. We walked past a retirement home each day and a man in a wheelchair would offer out sweets and chocolate. We didn't have a clue that was so weird/creepy and accepted gladly. Sometimes we would even both go inside to collect a choc bar or something.

One morning he was outside on our way to school and he convinced my sister she didn't have to go to school if she didn't want to. I was completely powerless to make her and they both insisted that I left her there.

I went into school and told a friend, who luckily told a teacher. Police were called etc, the full works.

I wasnt a stupid kid but i was def ignorant to how awful some adults are.

i got in trouble as I was the oldest one. I look back and think my parents were a complete disgrace. I should have never been in that position because my sahm mum couldn't be bothered to walk us a few mins each way.

There are so many creeps and weirdos out there that don't get caught either at all, or for years after they've done things to sometimes multiple people. I think the school is being completely reasonable to expect to be informed.

@freemillivanilli year 6! Not age 6. So 10 or 11.

Apologies. Thank you.

I also grew up in a different European country part of the time OP, and I'm also quite shocked at the cultural differences. Its normal for friends' children in that country to walk and cycle to school on their own and tbh there are so many doing it that someone would almost certainly notice if something happened.

But here in the UK is that sort of American culture where children are driven to school by their parents and are not very independent even as adult teenagers. I rent out a property to students and am always shocked at how little many of them even in their twenties can do without their parents involved in some way compared to some others. Its a very different culture, but I'm quite shocked at the message too. Its always a trade off between guaranteeing safety and building independence, yes there is a small risk but the independence gained is worth it.

Are the crime rates really that much higher in the UK than in other European countries?

But here in the UK is that sort of American culture where children are driven to school by their parents and are not very independent even as adult teenagers.

What region of the States did you live in? It is the norm to walk to school for most children or to walk to the bus stop that would take children to school. I was walking to school from 7 and didn’t stop walking to school until I was 17 and that was only because they built a new school and there was no pavement to get there. It was only a handful of kids that were dropped off by their parents.

The youngest will be year 3.

I agree - I do find quite a England / Scotland divide on these threads. In Scotland we seem to have retained the culture of allowing children to walk and cycle to school that seems to have been lost in England.

Sorry I meant to quote @LadyDanburysHat with this post

I agree - I do find quite a England / Scotland divide on these threads. In Scotland we seem to have retained the culture of allowing children to walk and cycle to school that seems to have been lost in England.

Onlinemum22, one weirdo creep in a wheelchair does not make all unknown men paedos. What a strange way to live

I dont assume everyone is horrible, but there are enough out there that are to mean I wouldn't be happy leaving a young child unsupervised walking to school. (Where would you look to pick off kids if you were that way inclined? Unsupervised kids on school runs/ in parks are prime pickings.)

I live in a really nice area. I still wouldn't let my children walk by themselves.

I have done extensive safeguarding training for my line of work, and in all training you are told to not assume it doesn't happen on your doorstep wherever you are.

Headteacher view ... personally, yes, assuming your children are mature enough, I think you are being completely reasonable. BUT it's a thin end of the wedge kind of thing. There are Y4 and Y5 children/families here for whom the children would not be capable of walking alone. And not just the obvious ones - it might be children who are impulsive and might get run over, silly and would go somewhere else, not very worldly wise, etc, and parents often don't recognise that. As a Headteacher, I don't really fancy explaining to another parent why your kids are fine but their classmates are not, so we have to have some kind of policy.

Walking to school it could be argued they are your responsibility; if at the end of the day, they don't make it home and I have let them out of the gate, it is definitely mine.

I'd walk them to school to keep the school happy, and find other opportunities for them to go out to the shop and/or on errands together so that they have what I agree is a normal part of growing up.

Yes agreed. I wonder if it’s because primary kids here mostly go to their nearest school, while the system in England seems more complicated?

At my DC’s primary a few children are walking by themselves in P3, lots more by P4. So while they’re not walking with adults they are walking on busy pavements with lots of other children which helps make it safer too.

Hmm, I'd have said more likely not DM readers.

Except OP’s DC are Y3 and Y5, not Y4 and Y5. I find it hard to believe a headteacher wouldn’t know that and thinks it is acceptable for an 8 year old to walk to school without an adult.

That's actually crazy, someone who is 16 could be a mother!

North Americans in general these days have the same kinds of rules as the UK, with kids not often being allowed to walk until they are in late elementary school, usually at about age 11.

Australia is similar, I think it is an feature of English-speaking countries.

Hopefully not of a school aged child. A child in reception aged four would have had to be born when the mother was 12!!

No, but the point is that if you can be a mother at 16 one would think you might be competent to pick up a sibling or other child from school. Alexander the Great's father left him in charge of Macedonia at that age!

Again, it depends on region in the States. There are many areas in the US that still allow children to walk to/from school alone usually as long as the parents have informed the school of this. Also, 11 can be considered as middle school or jr high age and many parents allow before that.

Genuine curiosity, why would you not let a (from your post presumably NT) 8.5 walk on their own for a short distance? What do you think will happen?'