Children walking to school on their own

[Outofwater]

Since March I have been letting my two DC walk to their state primary school on their own some days. The DC1 is 9 (turns 10 in six weeks) and DC2 is 8.5. Both are fairly responsible children - never in trouble in school. They've been attending the same school since reception.

The location is inner suburb. The distance walked is about 400m. The first 200m or so is to the end of our road of terraced houses (without proper gardens, i.e. front doors of the houses are a couple of metres from the pavement) to a T-junction with a secondary high street. The next 150m is along the high street which has cafes, hairdressers, church, pizza, gym, then turn into the street the school is on (the school is not on the high street but is immediately behind the shops IYSWIM). It takes them 7-10 minutes, depending on how fast they walk and long they have to wait for the pedestrian crossing (see below). The school has a very small catchment (one form entry) and so most children live quite close.

This evening DP and I received the following email from their headmistress (paraphrased and abbreviated):

"It has been brought to my attention that DC1 and DC2 are, on occasion, walking to school on their own. This has raised concern for a couple of reasons. Firstly, we do allow Year 5 children to travel to school on their own, but ask that parents let us know, in case a child doesn't arrive. Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, we are worried that DC1 is responsible for DC2, who is too young to be travelling to school without an adult. This raises safeguarding concerns."

I had a similar sort of walk to school in a fairly similar setting in the European country where I grew up. At DC1's age I also taking my younger sister with whom there was a much bigger age gap (3.5 years rather than 1.5 years) and going to her school first, dropping her off, and then going to my school.

I think given the ages of the girls the email is a bit over the top, particularly the bit about leaving D1 responsibility for D2. There's only 17 months between them and it's common for people to think they're twins. There is obviously a maturity gap between them but (unlike my childhood experience) it's very much two sisters walking to school together compared with one taking the other to school.

TBH I wouldn't be comfortable with either DC walking to school on their own but I'm much more relaxed about them walking together. I looked on the school website for policies and read everything that is there - but there is nothing about journey to school. I'm sure if I asked I would be told that it is "generally understood" or was in a newsletter that I got at some stage in the year.

I spoke with both DCs about the email and DC2 suggested the headmistress had sent the email to cover herself from liability (DC2 is a cynical one).

I'm fine to bring the DCs to school everyday but I really wanted to give them the sense of independence that I got walking on my own. If the school won't let DC2 walk to school until Y5 DC1 will have gone to secondary so DC1 and DC2 will never get the chance to walk to school on their own. I do think the email is a bit OTT, especially the reference to safeguarding which I read as the implicit threat of being reported to social services if I don't do what they tell me.

The better part of me says to just suck it up and accept it and that's what I will do. However, I wanted to get thoughts on whether I am way out of line with social norms.

"By the time I was teaching it was unacceptable. It is still considered unacceptable here. I believe this is not the case in some European countries. They should take this into account."

This is one of the most irritating things about the UK or, at least, England. If there is a rule state the rule. But, having done an extensive trawl this evening, there is nothing anywhere about a minimum age below which a child needs to be accompanied when going to school: not on the DfE website, not on my local authority website, not on my DC's school's website. Having written rules is even more important in places like London and my DC's school where the majority of parents are not from the UK. I feel there is often no written rule because the absence of a written rule makes it more difficult to contest - it gives control to a minority of white English middle class people to police the rest of society without the rest of society being able to contest that. I also feel that everyone gets dragged down to "stupid level" because having a rule that takes into account that there is a difference between (i) a child walking 400m and (ii) a child walking 1.5km and having to cross main roads with no pedestrian crossings would require treating people as able to make those judgements, but because some parents either can't be trusted to make the judgement or don't trust themselves to make the judgement we all end up with rules that are unwieldy.

Rant over.

They are allowed to leave/ arrive without an adult from P.5 (Scotland so from age 9ish) There are a few kids who are in a similar situation to you and they walk alone though.

Generally a firm chat with the head is required if going against unwritten school policy. I think there are some odd double standards though. The first couple of school buses (put on by the local authourity) are often dropping off to an empty playground and the children are left unsupervised for 15 minutes or so age 5+.

I get where you are coming from OP, there seems to be too many rules in the UK that take away the rights of parents to make decisions on what is best for their child. Yes, there have been some extreme cases over the years but its the parents responsibility to decide how they get to and from school.

I am not in the UK (though not Europe either) and no one batted an eyelid when my DD walked home from about the age eight. My DH worked nights and it made sense for DD to walk home (about 500m) whilst he slept during the day before he went to work. I worked FT during the day so he would be forced to wake himself up when DD was perfectly capable on making her own way home.

Do you know how much staff time is taken up with incidents that happen outside of school? A lot.

Many schools ask parents to sign consent forms if they want to allow their children to make their own way home (usually Y5).

Primary schools can’t be in the position of letting a child walk off site because the child says ‘I am allowed to walk home on my own’ without at least some communication from the parent/ carer to state that they have given consent for this.

Schools cannot win.

I don’t think there are many inner city schools in England that have school buses put on by the local authority

How is this about race?

Schools do not have the right to choose when children walk to school alone. They often try and imply that they do, but they do not.

email back and said that having risk assessed the route and being the person who knows your children best you are happy with your decision and they will be walking to school together going forward.

All a parent/ carer needs to do is to communicate that in the first place. Imagine the uproar if a child walked off site and something happened and the parent/ carer had not given consent in some form. The school would be held to account.

"All a parent/ carer needs to do is to communicate that in the first place. Imagine the uproar if a child walked off site and something happened and the parent/ carer had not given consent in some form."

First, the issue I have with the school is not about children leaving school unaccompanied. It is about children arriving at school unaccompanied.

Secondly, this is not a case of the school saying to me they just want to know what is happening (why? what difference would it make to them in any case - if a child does not turn up and the school has not been contacted to advise of absence, they phone immediately in any case) but saying it is a safeguarding issue that my DC are walking to school unaccompanied with (to me at least) the subtext of a possible report to social services because I am putting DC1 in a quasi-parental role in relation to DC2 (only 17 months her junior). When I think of how I was raised in the 1980s and 90s it sounds completely crazy to me. Older siblings were expected to look out for younger siblings. When I was 7 and would go to a friend's house after school his older brother of 12 or 13 would take me home on the bar of his bike. It was normal. It seems that things have changed (not for the better in my view) and I did not get the memo...

It’s not the 80s/90s and they are expected by DFE and Ofsted to do what they have done as part of safeguarding responsibilities. Young children arriving unaccompanied can be an even bigger red flag than children leaving unaccompanied in certain circumstances.

Have a conversation with the head.

Schools will ring when a child is absent if a parent/ carer has not called in to inform them that their child is going to be absent and given a reason why.

Another important safeguarding policy that in place

@hangrylady - what part isnt true? I said usually. That means mostly.
@trussedchicken - you can't accuse me of making a sweeping statement for my area when making one for yourself 😆

In the end it is down to the parents but how many people get angry and upset when bad things happen to children ad we read about it in the news of all the failures and that supposed safeguarding hadn't worked, whether its neighbours reporting, or GPs, or teachers, or friends of the family, or the police etc. It is better to be safe than sorry surely?

Oh I hear you, OP! I were in a similar position and my instinct is to respond that I've risk assessed it and am happy with my decision. But then I think: are they really going to refer to social services and take up their time with this?!

I don't know the answer but I do think it's a weirdly British thing; I'm regularly baffled by posters on here who won't let 9 and 10 year olds walk to the shop on their own (for example).

OP somebody raised a concern. The school is legally obliged to adhere to the child protection act by taking it up with you FAIK. A waste of resources I know. But it's the law.

@Pixiedust1234 You did not to answer the question I posed to you about why the likelihood of a lone 11 year old being snatched off the street is considered lower than the likelihood of one of an 8.5 year old and a 10 year old together being snatched off the street. Do you have an answer? Do you understand that it's not possible to eliminate risk? Do you understand that if there are to be rules they should be published so that people should debate them? That some of us immigrants are a bit sick and tired of having our behaviour policed based on nebulous ideas of what is "usual" which, in my experience, amounts to views of a certain class of white English middle class people (Daily Mail readers).

I’m an immigrant. I’m not really sure what your point is.

When my second dc goes to secondary school, she will be going with her brother who will be in year 10 and a group of friends.

she Is in Y6 and I would not expect her to take her y4 brother to school without an adult. We live in a big city and ‘snatching kids’ isn’t the only risk I need to assess.

Speak to the head and tell them you are happy for your children to go to school, and leave school, without an adult. They will still have to log it as that is part of their safeguarding responsibilities as outlined by the government, dfe, ofsted and children’s services

@Jamboree01 immigrant or not the law for safeguarding is the law.
@Outofwater dig into their policy. But in the meantime take them to and from school as advised until you know better.

I think I would do a risk assessment and send it to the HT

There was something I read a few years ago when paedophiles were interviewed They said the easiest place to snatcha child was when the children were with parents but the parents distracted so things places like DIY shops where parents are discussing buying a kitchen.

Schools contact parents if their child has not turned up because of cases where children went missing on the way to school and there was no alarm raised until they didn't get home.

At my mother's funeral my brother got a call from his youngest's school asking if he knew where ashe was, she was 16 and with us.

Someone mentioned James Bulger, Sara Payne was also with family.

Back to the OP

You have done your own risk assessment, ask the school to do one too.

Our school (private) won't let any junior school students go into site without an adult. It's a blanket rule and works well as there is no risk of this sort of thing happening and then the awkward email
Exchange.

I wouldn't let my DS walk alone and he is almost 10. He is mature but I can't vouch for the rest of the world?!

I especially wouldn't let 2 girls walk alone (call me sexist but a friend in the serious crime division of the police has told many horror stories) you can't wrap them in cotton wool but I do think this is inappropriate.

As I have stated repeatedly. Safeguarding is the law

Do a risk assessment and send it to the high courts. Schools are doing what they are required to do by law and don’t have enough staff, time or money to waste on people trying to prove a point.

The op can meet with the headteacher and state what she’s said here. The referral will still be made as that is the law.

@Outofwater
‘TBH I wouldn't be comfortable with either DC walking to school on their own but I'm much more relaxed about them walking together’

You’re more relaxed about 8.5 year old and 9 year old walking together? So, god forbid, if something happens, which one is going to prevent the worst?

I think this thread is a wind up. If not, why aren’t you or DP walking your young children to school? Or asking another adult to do so?

I"m with you OP. Im in Europe and independence is encouraged from a very early age. My dc get themselves to school and one of them has asd.

And Im with you on the unspoken rules.

I would just reply to the email informing them that your dc will be walking to and from school.

I kind of agree with you OP, we have a very similar set up, also London, around 500m and ours can get to school with only crossing one road which has an attendant. Lots of children walk to school here, mostly older ages, but some younger -or with siblings etc its a big diverse school with two entrances, I am not sure its possible for the school to know who is doing what on arriving, and I am quite sure as such it can not be their responsibility how kids get to school. I dont believe this is some kind of white British middle class conspiracy though, essentially its an area where school staff have an opinion but no legal power - which is why nothing is written down etc, and why different schools will react differently. Its fine to thank the head for their concern but say you are happy with your decision.

‘Firstly, we do allow Year 5 children to travel to school on their own,

but ask that parents let us know, in case a child doesn't arrive.

Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, we are worried that DC1 is responsible for DC2, who is too young to be travelling to school without an adult. This raises safeguarding concerns."