Children walking to school on their own

[Outofwater]

Since March I have been letting my two DC walk to their state primary school on their own some days. The DC1 is 9 (turns 10 in six weeks) and DC2 is 8.5. Both are fairly responsible children - never in trouble in school. They've been attending the same school since reception.

The location is inner suburb. The distance walked is about 400m. The first 200m or so is to the end of our road of terraced houses (without proper gardens, i.e. front doors of the houses are a couple of metres from the pavement) to a T-junction with a secondary high street. The next 150m is along the high street which has cafes, hairdressers, church, pizza, gym, then turn into the street the school is on (the school is not on the high street but is immediately behind the shops IYSWIM). It takes them 7-10 minutes, depending on how fast they walk and long they have to wait for the pedestrian crossing (see below). The school has a very small catchment (one form entry) and so most children live quite close.

This evening DP and I received the following email from their headmistress (paraphrased and abbreviated):

"It has been brought to my attention that DC1 and DC2 are, on occasion, walking to school on their own. This has raised concern for a couple of reasons. Firstly, we do allow Year 5 children to travel to school on their own, but ask that parents let us know, in case a child doesn't arrive. Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, we are worried that DC1 is responsible for DC2, who is too young to be travelling to school without an adult. This raises safeguarding concerns."

I had a similar sort of walk to school in a fairly similar setting in the European country where I grew up. At DC1's age I also taking my younger sister with whom there was a much bigger age gap (3.5 years rather than 1.5 years) and going to her school first, dropping her off, and then going to my school.

I think given the ages of the girls the email is a bit over the top, particularly the bit about leaving D1 responsibility for D2. There's only 17 months between them and it's common for people to think they're twins. There is obviously a maturity gap between them but (unlike my childhood experience) it's very much two sisters walking to school together compared with one taking the other to school.

TBH I wouldn't be comfortable with either DC walking to school on their own but I'm much more relaxed about them walking together. I looked on the school website for policies and read everything that is there - but there is nothing about journey to school. I'm sure if I asked I would be told that it is "generally understood" or was in a newsletter that I got at some stage in the year.

I spoke with both DCs about the email and DC2 suggested the headmistress had sent the email to cover herself from liability (DC2 is a cynical one).

I'm fine to bring the DCs to school everyday but I really wanted to give them the sense of independence that I got walking on my own. If the school won't let DC2 walk to school until Y5 DC1 will have gone to secondary so DC1 and DC2 will never get the chance to walk to school on their own. I do think the email is a bit OTT, especially the reference to safeguarding which I read as the implicit threat of being reported to social services if I don't do what they tell me.

The better part of me says to just suck it up and accept it and that's what I will do. However, I wanted to get thoughts on whether I am way out of line with social norms.

Sons primary school did not allow children to walk in without an adult at all. My neighbour got told off once as her then 16 year old walked her younger child into school and as she was wearing her school uniform neighbour got letter home, reminder must be 18. I assumed it was because school is by side of very busy road.

Total load of crap. I can assure you, after having a child who was in Y6 during lockdown and hadn’t had the opportunity to go out much alone or walk to school hardly at all, they made the leap into secondary just fine and 2 years on at 12 is very independently getting various busses alone 30-40 mins away.
There is no rush and if you don’t let your child walk alone from age 8 or 9 it does not mean they won’t be ready for secondary school. At age 11.5 or almost 12 when starting y7 a couple of practice trips on the bus in the summer and a friend to catch the bus with the first week does perfectly well because they are that much older by then.

You will just have to wait until youngest is in year 5.

I have children of a similar age and we live closer to our school than you do to yours but I still don't let them walk alone. My children are fairly sensible but I still wouldn't feel right letting them make the journey themselves.

@museumum are you from the UK, my child is 8.5, I wouldn't allow my child to walk any of the journey on his own, directly outside the school gate, yes, drop him off half way, absolutely not!

School would not be telling me, I could not walk my kid to at least to the gate, that is very irresponsible and I would be reporting to OFSTED.

Of course primary children walk to school. And any who are driven will be at more risk of harm from an accident than any child walking to school.

I'd carry on as you are OP.

You are definitely right about it being poor that the policy isn’t on the school website.

In your reply I would (politely!) point out that you had searched for the school policy on their website before making this decision for your family and were unaware that you were breaking any guidelines.

I guess if it were me, I would stop letting them walk to school simply because you don’t want to get on the wrong side of the Head for something so (relatively) minor.

It’s not just British vs European. I walked to school on my own from year 3 and was responsible for my younger sibling. It was normal then (and I’m only talking about the 90s).

I don’t think you’ve done anything wrong. I wouldn’t do it personally because we live a bit further from school than you and my son (slightly younger but still) seems almost oblivious to cars and other pedestrians. Other children would be able to walk to school. You made your decision knowing your children.

Yes, we are in a large city in Scotland.

Perhaps feedback to the school that they need their policy to be more transparent on the website.

Reality is though OP, you've opted to live in the UK, so your DC will have a different cultural experience to your own growing up. It's not considered acceptable for children below year 5 to walk to school without an adult in the UK, and many schools require permission before allowing it for year 5 &6. If that's something you can't accept that needs to be factored into your life choices.

when we reopened after covid parents of children age 8+ were asked not to accompany their children all the way to the gates but leave/meet them somewhere en route.

I'm very, very surprised by this. The school has absolutely no right to ask parents to leave 8 year olds unaccompanied part way to school. It's one thing to leave it to parents to use judgement, another to impose it.

Why do people say things like this as if it’s fact everywhere when the UK is diverse?

it’s not considered acceptable below year 5 where you live. That’s not the case everywhere. Even the schools here that like to pretend they are in charge of when it’s acceptable say Year 4.

Schools cannot deny permission for this as it’s not something in their remit. They can, as they can with anything, go through safeguarding processes if they find a genuine issue. However, allowing a child to walk to or from school alone is not, in and of itself, a safeguarding issue. The school would have to find actual fault with the route for that child.

every school I ever worked in backed down the when they were challenged because each time the parent was able to show that they know the area, the route and the child better than the school and this is a parenting decision.
The only time it was debated and a proper safeguarding process happened was when it was another example of neglect for a particular child.

I walked to school from age 4 and, same age, my sister would get the bus to her school. My mum would walk her to the bus stop and wave her off. She knew which stop to get off. That was fine in the 70s/80s.

My DC were walked to school all through primary school. As they got to Y5/Y6 I would drop them at the gate and leave but before then I would chat to the other mums until after the bell went. I think in current climate your DC are too young to walk alone.

@OfstedOffred, that's absolutely bonkers.

Only allowed at y6 here, Dts have been walking since September. It's not far but they're so bloody distracted all the time that the couple of roads they have to cross bothers me.

I wouldn't have been happy at y5 but it depends where you are.

If you just want to know what is the norm in various places, our local school policy is Year 5 and upwards. (It is also not unusual for primary school children to walk to/from school with secondary school siblings.) However, to be fair, I don't recall an age restriction when I was a child... it must be a modern thing.

I don't mind that our school have a policy on it (yr5 and yr6) - I can't help wonder though if there is an expectation that you'd know immediately if you're child wasn't at school.

Isn't it more realistic that it would be later in the morning (maybe by 10am? Possibly later??) by the time the registers are in and parents called. That's a long time for a child not be where they are meant to be.

My DD has just started to walk with a friend and she is in year 6. Her friend looks more like a 13 year old but DD is small and I worry that she is younger looking and more vulnerable as a result. The other Mum thinks I am making a fuss about nothing but the Mum is 10 years older than me so childhood in the 70s and I think was allowed to get to school on her own from a young age. I was not allowed even in year 6 but we did live quite far away from the school.

I had the same experience with not allowing the sibling to collect when I was stuck in traffic coming home from work..my DS was 14 and not allowed to collect my DD.

I think if there is an age difference (even small one ) then the elder will be feeling responsible for the younger one.I also caught the bus to School, and walked from the bus stop as a child in London .Wouldnt want to do that if I had a child that age . If you take them in in the mornings and let them walk home together ,you will know if they are safe .We live in a different world and it is sadly not as safe as we would wish for.

It said it's about making the older child responsible for the younger one is what the concern is.

So, if your children did not make it to school, how would you know? What's your current method to ensure they arrive at school? Do you ring every day and check?

Mine text me when they're at the gate

As a parent who is very over-protective I wouldn't let my daughter walk to school on her own. In fact I still don't and she's at secondary school now. Doesn't have a sibling to walk with though.

Having said that I would be asking what safeguarding issues the head is referring to and what she intends to do about this. It seems like a threat to me. Perhaps it may have been prudent to advise the school in case they didn't arrive safely but like someone else said, if they didn't arrive and you hadn't called to let the school know they were off sick, then presumably they would contact you anyway?
I always think, it's other people you need to be fearful of, not necessarily your childrens' irresponsibility. There are some strange people out there.

Whilst i see your point that the way you parent is your decision i don't agree it is none of the school's business. Of course it is their business to ensure such young children are kept safe.

I reported a parent to the head this week at my DC school. The year 6 child was walking walking reception child in. Across two roads. First day thought it odd, second the year 6 was clearly showing off. Twisted his sister's arm, pushed her over and then laughed at her crying. At that point I reported it.

Our school sends out the not shown up message 10-10.30am. 2 hours is plenty of time for something awful to happen.