To be flattered? Or is this strange?

[sleepfortheweek]

Walking my dog this evening. I was walking through a local park, as were many other people.

I had my headphones in listening to my audio book but out of the corner of my eye I saw a man crossing the park towards me. I didn't think much of it and just kept walking but then I noticed he was walking directly towards me.

When he was close enough I could see he was saying something to me so I took out my ear buds and I didn't catch the first bit but he basically said sorry for being so random but he really like my fashion (I was wearing jeans, boots, an hoody and a body warmer 🤣) and wanted to say hi.

He introduced himself to me and shook my hand. I had no idea what was going on, and I told him my name. He was just kind of smiling at me and making conversation. Asked what I liked to do to relax etc. It was a very normal conversation but in very strange circumstances.

He then asked if I was taken.I said yes, I have a husband and two children. The conversation ended not too long after, with him apologising again for being so random. He said cheerio and off he went on the opposite direction to me 🤷🏼‍♀️

Does this kind of thing actually happen in real life or do you think he was on drugs?? He didn't seem drunk.

I live in a tiny town, and he said he was here for work (even told me what work).

Should I be flattered? Or should I be looking over my shoulder from now on?

This has NEVER happened to me before, it's not like I'm a beauty queen that men fall over themselves to speak to 🤣

The strangest thing was that the part of my audio book I was at was a man and woman who barely knew each other went for a coffee together and I was literally thinking how that never really happens in real life then BOOM I'm accosted by a stranger 🤣

Jeez this site is completely unusable today!

I couldn't disagree more.

This man didn't demand anything - the OP was free to walk away at any time and when informed she had a partner, he took his leave politely.

I don't know when society degraded to the point that striking up a conversation with someone else was considered an unreasonable demand but it's a bloody sad state of affairs.

He probably didn't even realise she had air buds in.

These kinds of interactions used to be commonplace pre internet dating. The poor bloke has done literally nothing wrong.

No! Out at the pub, in a social situation with friends, at a hobby meeting, a party, drinks with work colleagues - all fine, where people are in a social situation and there’s an expectation of meeting and chatting.

It is Not Cool to insert yourself into someone’s space when they are deliberately not looking for interaction (wearing headphones), and make demands on their time.

See the difference? Not to mention this is a known pickup technique where men are trying to find someone to have sex with quickly, which makes them potentially dangerous when thwarted.

No! Out at the pub, in a social situation with friends, at a hobby meeting, a party, drinks with work colleagues - all fine, where people are in a social situation and there’s an expectation of meeting and chatting.

It is Not Cool to insert yourself into someone’s space when they are deliberately not looking for interaction (wearing headphones), and make demands on their time.

See the difference? Not to mention this is a known pickup technique where men are trying to find someone to have sex with quickly, which makes them potentially dangerous when thwarted.

No! Out at the pub, in a social situation with friends, at a hobby meeting, a party, drinks with work colleagues - all fine, where people are in a social situation and there’s an expectation of meeting and chatting.

It is Not Cool to insert yourself into someone’s space when they are deliberately not looking for interaction (wearing headphones), and make demands on their time.

See the difference? Not to mention this is a known pickup technique where men are trying to find someone to have sex with quickly, which makes them potentially dangerous when thwarted.

No! Out at the pub, in a social situation with friends, at a hobby meeting, a party, drinks with work colleagues - all fine, where people are in a social situation and there’s an expectation of meeting and chatting.

It is Not Cool to insert yourself into someone’s space when they are deliberately not looking for interaction (wearing headphones), and make demands on their time.

See the difference? Not to mention this is a known pickup technique where men are trying to find someone to have sex with quickly, which makes them potentially dangerous when thwarted.

No! Out at the pub, in a social situation with friends, at a hobby meeting, a party, drinks with work colleagues - all fine, where people are in a social situation and there’s an expectation of meeting and chatting.

It is Not Cool to insert yourself into someone’s space when they are deliberately not looking for interaction (wearing headphones), and make demands on their time.

See the difference? Not to mention this is a known pickup technique where men are trying to find someone to have sex with quickly, which makes them potentially dangerous when thwarted.

No! Out at the pub, in a social situation with friends, at a hobby meeting, a party, drinks with work colleagues - all fine, where people are in a social situation and there’s an expectation of meeting and chatting.

It is Not Cool to insert yourself into someone’s space when they are deliberately not looking for interaction (wearing headphones), and make demands on their time.

See the difference? Not to mention this is a known pickup technique where men are trying to find someone to have sex with quickly, which makes them potentially dangerous when thwarted.

FFS. I only tried posting that once. What the hell is going on today?

Absolutely this.
A strange man approaching me when I'm on my own? Not ok. The sort of men I'm interested do not do this.

I had something very similar to me happen in Tesco last week. I was browsing the clothes (actually looking at the kids school hair clips stand for my little girl!) and a man came up all 'hi! How are you?!' in a very familiar manner. I said 'hi!' and smiled while thinking who TAF is it?! Husbands friend? Someone I am supposed to know, clearly, as he was so overly familiar. After a short, weird conversation about his friend (?), I by then realised I definitely didn't know him and TBH he looked like an absolute skeezy druggie. I fairly politely said, okay, best get on, and started to walk away and he said, any chance of a drink sometime? And I just said no and walked off, left the store as quick as I could. I was pretty freaked out by it, it was so weird and I felt really uncomfortable and TBH I was worrying he was going to follow me or something. I mean, I looked so, so 'average mum' and I was wearing my wedding ring as well!

I had something very similar to me happen in Tesco last week. I was browsing the clothes (actually looking at the kids school hair clips stand for my little girl!) and a man came up all 'hi! How are you?!' in a very familiar manner. I said 'hi!' and smiled while thinking who TAF is it?! Husbands friend? Someone I am supposed to know, clearly, as he was so overly familiar. After a short, weird conversation about his friend (?), I by then realised I definitely didn't know him and TBH he looked like an absolute skeezy druggie. I fairly politely said, okay, best get on, and started to walk away and he said, any chance of a drink sometime? And I just said no and walked off, left the store as quick as I could. I was pretty freaked out by it, it was so weird and I felt really uncomfortable and TBH I was worrying he was going to follow me or something. I mean, I looked so, so 'average mum' and I was wearing my wedding ring as well!

I had something very similar to me happen in Tesco last week. I was browsing the clothes (actually looking at the kids school hair clips stand for my little girl!) and a man came up all 'hi! How are you?!' in a very familiar manner. I said 'hi!' and smiled while thinking who TAF is it?! Husbands friend? Someone I am supposed to know, clearly, as he was so overly familiar. After a short, weird conversation about his friend (?), I by then realised I definitely didn't know him and TBH he looked like an absolute skeezy druggie. I fairly politely said, okay, best get on, and started to walk away and he said, any chance of a drink sometime? And I just said no and walked off, left the store as quick as I could. I was pretty freaked out by it, it was so weird and I felt really uncomfortable and TBH I was worrying he was going to follow me or something. I mean, I looked so, so 'average mum' and I was wearing my wedding ring as well!

I had something very similar to me happen in Tesco last week. I was browsing the clothes (actually looking at the kids school hair clips stand for my little girl!) and a man came up all 'hi! How are you?!' in a very familiar manner. I said 'hi!' and smiled while thinking who TAF is it?! Husbands friend? Someone I am supposed to know, clearly, as he was so overly familiar. After a short, weird conversation about his friend (?), I by then realised I definitely didn't know him and TBH he looked like an absolute skeezy druggie. I fairly politely said, okay, best get on, and started to walk away and he said, any chance of a drink sometime? And I just said no and walked off, left the store as quick as I could. I was pretty freaked out by it, it was so weird and I felt really uncomfortable and TBH I was worrying he was going to follow me or something. I mean, I looked so, so 'average mum' and I was wearing my wedding ring as well!

I had something very similar to me happen in Tesco last week. I was browsing the clothes (actually looking at the kids school hair clips stand for my little girl!) and a man came up all 'hi! How are you?!' in a very familiar manner. I said 'hi!' and smiled while thinking who TAF is it?! Husbands friend? Someone I am supposed to know, clearly, as he was so overly familiar. After a short, weird conversation about his friend (?), I by then realised I definitely didn't know him and TBH he looked like an absolute skeezy druggie. I fairly politely said, okay, best get on, and started to walk away and he said, any chance of a drink sometime? And I just said no and walked off, left the store as quick as I could. I was pretty freaked out by it, it was so weird and I felt really uncomfortable and TBH I was worrying he was going to follow me or something. I mean, I looked so, so 'average mum' and I was wearing my wedding ring as well!

Arghh bloody MN error screen!

I'm with @pedropony76. How do you think people used to meet? I've been asked out at a bus stop, chatted to in the supermarket and at a bank. This guy seemed fine to me - once you said you were not available he left you alone.
The one time I did feel uncomfortable was when I was followed out of the tube and the first thing the guy said was 'I'm not going to hurt you'.
If someone comes up to you that makes you feel uncomfortable just give them a look and move on or say 'I'm not interested'. This guy paid you a compliment. He may have been a creep , but so could that guy down the pub or in a nightclub or local pottery class.

It really isn’t. I grew up pre-internet, and I certainly never went on dates with any of the complete randoms who accosted me in the street.

They were seen as creepy weirdos/potential abductors (this was in the days of Suzy Lamplugh, and not a million years after Peter Sutcliffe).

There was the Impulse advert, but we all knew that was ridiculous.

Same here. I met boyfriends the old fashioned ways - through friends, though work, through a shared interest. I wouldn’t spend time with someone who accosted me in the street any more than I would someone on line.

Agree. I’m shocked at some of the responses to this. Who on earth engages with a stranger in the street other than perhaps to give or receive directions?

I’m still trying to undo the years of compliance my parents subconsciously drilled in to me as a child/teen. My desire to be seen as polite and friendly has got me into too many awkward and dangerous situations and as a woman in her 30s I’m still slowly unravelling all this so I can better protect me and not worry about whether a random bloke is offended.

Agree. I’m shocked at some of the responses to this. Who on earth engages with a stranger in the street other than perhaps to give or receive directions?

How do you think people used to meet? I've been asked out at a bus stop, chatted to in the supermarket and at a bank

How many of those did you actually have sex with?

Nobody is disputing that creepy men proposition women everywhere. We are saying nobody in their right mind goes off with some weirdo who comes up to them at a bus stop.

I’m currently watching “when missing turns to murder” on Netflix

I would be looking over my shoulder. He might be quite innocent but it’s very strange.

MN is so weird tbh, this use to happen to me all the time (and no I’m not bragging) when I was slim and attractive men would always stop me to chat me up, living in London it’s pretty normal for men to chat up women, now I’m fat and older it doesn’t happen anymore but believe it or not this is the way people use to meet before OLD it seems that’s the only way people think people should meet someone these days.