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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this was rude?

155 replies

925XX · 25/04/2022 10:43

My friend is expecting her first baby. I spent weeks and weeks knitting baby clothes of every description. We met for a coffee in a very quiet cafe and I handed over the bulging bag excited to give them to her. She grabbed the bag, said thanks and without even looking inside put it on the floor. I was a bit taken aback after all my hard work that she had not even looked inside. I still didn't even when I left.

OP posts:
925XX · 25/04/2022 18:02

diddl · 25/04/2022 18:00

That is truly appalling.

If she was so hard up I would happily have given her wool & patterns to knit stuff herself to sell.

Lol she can't boil water let alone knit.

OP posts:
HeArInGhandsgirl11 · 25/04/2022 19:04

I love ha d knitted clothes.
It doesn't matter if she asked or didn't she was rude to not even look.

HeArInGhandsgirl11 · 25/04/2022 19:05

I love ha d knitted clothes.
It doesn't matter if she asked or didn't she was rude to not even look.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 25/04/2022 19:28

What a disgusting user, masquerading as a (now-ex) friend.

I've read a few instances of this (mainly on MN), where some new/expectant parents will ask for very specific expensive baby stuff, often laying on the guilt about how much they need it, planning all along to sell it - whether new stuff to be bought by family/friends or things 'desperately needed' on FreeCycle or Facebook Market Place.

I suppose they see their opportunity, exploiting how keen people often are to help when a baby is on the way; plus, if they can just stall seeing the giver for a few months (or the giver seeing them using that item), they can just say that it was so greatly appreciated, but now that their baby has outgrown it, they've passed it on to a friend or indeed have sold it to use the money to buy next-stage stuff.

That's nasty enough when it involves paying money to buy things from a shop, but when they've deliberately wasted a huge amount of your time in getting you to make it, that's far worse still.

Either way, you know they won't have sold it for anything like its realistic value/what it cost you (to buy or in time and materials); but they don't care, as it's 100% 'profit' to them. Not much different from drug addicts in that respect, really.

Pember · 25/04/2022 19:29

I hate confrontation too but I’d have to call her out on this! Cheek isn’t a strong enough word but the utter barefaced cheek of it Shock

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 25/04/2022 19:35

“Oh no ex-friend! Your house was burgled and the only thing that was stolen was baby knitwear? maybe you should check eBay, they might turn up on there…”

That's exactly what I'd do - great suggestion.

Never mind her impending baby, she must think that OP was born yesterday with that ridiculous lie. She could at least have blamed a washing machine failure or mice or something. That seriously reminds me of some of the moronic excuses that Richie and Eddie come out with in the gas man episode of Bottom!

Giraffesandbottom · 25/04/2022 19:37
  1. this is no friend, I’m sorry she has upset you. I think it was bad enough she didn’t say thank you but the selling on eBay is shocking. Try harder to find her profile and screenshot it to her!
  2. I am pregnant and I would say thank you for some of your beautiful knitted stuff 😃
Beautifulmonster87 · 25/04/2022 19:44

Sometimes people don’t like opening things in front of you but to not thank you when she got home is really rude!!

hihellohihello · 25/04/2022 19:51

I can understand why it upset you but I do know some people get anxious about opening gifts in front of others. Maybe that's it?

hihellohihello · 25/04/2022 19:54

Sorry, just saw the updates. That is weird. Is she really hard up or something?

caringcarer · 25/04/2022 19:54

I love to see babies in matinee coats and little long flannelette/cotton nighties underneath. Super easy for changing nappies.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 25/04/2022 19:57

Sometimes people don’t like opening things in front of you but to not thank you when she got home is really rude!!

Maybe, just maybe, she does have a tiny bit of conscience - and looking you in the eye and actually properly thanking you could have intensified and truly brought home to her the disgrace of what she was doing.

Possibly, by restricting her friendly-acting behaviour to the 'commissioning' stage only, her taking the bag with a murmured half-hearted 'thanks', as if it were just like an Amazon delivery person handing over an ordered parcel, was her dissociating herself from the fact that she knew she'd done a very nasty thing and completely betrayed a friend.

Just a theory; she might not care less.

caringcarer · 25/04/2022 20:00

925xx that is really lovely. I would have loved that for my babies. I got a hand knitted shawl in four ply made by a very old lady, a friend of my aunt's and it was my favourite baby gift. I kept it for my dd when she grew up, she had her baby and she got a lot of comments on it.

Herejustforthisone · 25/04/2022 20:00

She’s a cunt. I feel very sad for her poor baby being born with that as a mother.

925XX · 25/04/2022 20:00

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 25/04/2022 19:35

“Oh no ex-friend! Your house was burgled and the only thing that was stolen was baby knitwear? maybe you should check eBay, they might turn up on there…”

That's exactly what I'd do - great suggestion.

Never mind her impending baby, she must think that OP was born yesterday with that ridiculous lie. She could at least have blamed a washing machine failure or mice or something. That seriously reminds me of some of the moronic excuses that Richie and Eddie come out with in the gas man episode of Bottom!

Ha ha Yes I had forgotten about Bottom, maybe if they make another series they could use the excuse given to me. 😂

OP posts:
925XX · 25/04/2022 20:04

caringcarer · 25/04/2022 20:00

925xx that is really lovely. I would have loved that for my babies. I got a hand knitted shawl in four ply made by a very old lady, a friend of my aunt's and it was my favourite baby gift. I kept it for my dd when she grew up, she had her baby and she got a lot of comments on it.

Well you are lovely for caring about the work an old lady did for you.

OP posts:
925XX · 25/04/2022 20:06

Giraffesandbottom · 25/04/2022 19:37

  1. this is no friend, I’m sorry she has upset you. I think it was bad enough she didn’t say thank you but the selling on eBay is shocking. Try harder to find her profile and screenshot it to her!
  2. I am pregnant and I would say thank you for some of your beautiful knitted stuff 😃

Congratulations! You sound like your will be a lovely mummy.

OP posts:
WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 25/04/2022 20:10

Ha ha Yes I had forgotten about Bottom, maybe if they make another series they could use the excuse given to me.

Sadly, not possible now Sad

That was a really lovely piece of work, though - you're very talented; just a shame you had to discover that your 'friend' is a nasty piece of work.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 25/04/2022 20:11

Ha ha Yes I had forgotten about Bottom, maybe if they make another series they could use the excuse given to me.

Sadly, not possible now Sad

That was a really lovely piece of work, though - you're very talented; just a shame you had to discover that your 'friend' is a nasty piece of work.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 25/04/2022 20:13

Sorry, posted twice - I got the 'new MN' screen of death and didn't know it had gone through.

925XX · 25/04/2022 20:21

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 25/04/2022 20:11

Ha ha Yes I had forgotten about Bottom, maybe if they make another series they could use the excuse given to me.

Sadly, not possible now Sad

That was a really lovely piece of work, though - you're very talented; just a shame you had to discover that your 'friend' is a nasty piece of work.

No not unless they have new actors and it would never be the same. The excuse reminds me of Little Britain when David Walliams is playing an MP and is standing at house gates with his wife telling the press that when he was found in bed with another woman its because they both tripped and all their clothes fell off 😂

OP posts:
SheilaWilde · 25/04/2022 20:36

Could you post a picture of something similar to the clothes you knitted and gave her? I'd love to trawl 'completed' items on eBay to see if I can find them.

Mellowyellow222 · 25/04/2022 20:39

how awful. At first I thought she might have realised she should have paid for the materials if she asked you to knit them.

I assume this friendship is now over.

get some evidence and confront her

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 25/04/2022 20:43

The excuse reminds me of Little Britain when David Walliams is playing an MP and is standing at house gates with his wife telling the press that when he was found in bed with another woman its because they both tripped and all their clothes fell off

Yes! Although similar accidents are surprisingly common - all good A&E departments will tell you of the astonishing number of their clients who trip whilst naked and accidentally fall backwards on to an upright butternut squash that they left on the stairs Grin

Giraffesandbottom · 25/04/2022 20:45

@SheilaWilde

thats what I’ve been trying to do but it’s impossible without having a photo of something to
go
on!