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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to wonder why so many people assume Johnny Depp is the good guy and Amber Heard is the villain? ..

1000 replies

Cowslip4567 · 24/04/2022 20:04

People (from what I am reading in a variety of places on the internet) seem to have decided this even before the trial has been concluded. Presumably, we won't know all of the evidence until the trial ends.

The previous trial in the UK concluded that there was indeed evidence that JD was indeed a wife beater. How come everyone feels that they are sure previous trial had the wrong verdict?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
16
stiritwithaknife · 24/04/2022 23:48

Snowpatrolling · 24/04/2022 23:40

I won’t say what my texts said on this board. And I also don’t believe she was abused. That’s just my opinion based on what I’ve seen of the trial.

I agree that it is normal and common for an abused woman to fantasize about her abusive partner dying. I agree it is normal and common for an abused woman to even fantasize about killing her abusive partner.

Do you think it's normal or common for an abused woman to fantasize about raping her abusive partner's corpse?

TheKeatingFive · 24/04/2022 23:49

fantasize about raping her abusive partner's corpse?

correction. Burnt corpse.

Snowpatrolling · 24/04/2022 23:56

TheKeatingFive · 24/04/2022 23:41

That’s just my opinion based on what I’ve seen of the trial.

what about this

www.bailii.org/ew/cases/EWHC/QB/2020/2911.html

Still dubious,
im not saying he’s totally innocent, but I don’t think she was an abused woman.
I watched a clip earlier where she had a restraining order on him when they split, he was staying in a hotel, and she turned up. She recorded everything, was trying to get him into bed. Her story’s don’t add up.
I’ll see if I change my mind after she’s had her say, but at the moment I really do t believe a word that comes out of her mouth.

Popsicle33 · 25/04/2022 00:00

They both are toxic abusive narcissists with way too much money.

StormzyinaTCup · 25/04/2022 00:07

I have read that document twice now and I'm still dubious, I will wait and see what happens over the next week or two.

Whilst we are talking about what's 'normal' and what's not. Would it be 'normal' for a woman who was being abused (and on occasion feared for her life) to buy her abuser a large bladed knife with a personal engraving on it that says 'till death do us part xxx' as a birthday/Xmas gift?

StarbucksSmarterSister · 25/04/2022 00:10

Because he's more famous?

They're a pair of abusive drunks and both are appalling. His texts with Bettany about her are disturbing.

My nieces ( early 20s) are very "team Johnny". It really bothers me that they can't see he's just as vile as her.

50ShadesOfCatholic · 25/04/2022 00:13

Snowpatrolling · 24/04/2022 23:56

Still dubious,
im not saying he’s totally innocent, but I don’t think she was an abused woman.
I watched a clip earlier where she had a restraining order on him when they split, he was staying in a hotel, and she turned up. She recorded everything, was trying to get him into bed. Her story’s don’t add up.
I’ll see if I change my mind after she’s had her say, but at the moment I really do t believe a word that comes out of her mouth.

and you know this how? Because clearly it is not based on any knowledge of abusive relationships.

and for the love of god, it is Depp who is on the stand. It is Depp making these claims and obsessing with legal action, Heard has not done that.

MangyInseam · 25/04/2022 00:55

cuppygup · 24/04/2022 20:53

is the 💩 in the bed thing

Yup.

I know people keep saying his text was as bad, but most people have heard someone say pretty nasty far out things or may even have done so themselves, especially drunks and addicts, and while it is not good it's kind of recognizable as human behaviour.

The bed shitting most people find deeply bizarre, can't imagine themselves or people they know doing something like that, and it seems to cross the most basic bodily boundaries and social taboos.

Someone who would do that appears to be a sociopath.

DaisyQuakeJohnson · 25/04/2022 01:17

Iirc during the London case it was revealed Depp's team paid for a social media campaign to support him and to try to get Heard sacked from roles.

When I see all the nonsense this time round, I assume it's more of the same. No reasonable person could consider him as the victim if they'd followed the London case.
I think it's very damaging for abused women to read all the abuse apologists. It shows how far we still have to go before men will be held to account. This case is perpetuating so many dangerous stereotypes around abuse. It also feels like Depp is determined to trash Heard's career because she had the temerity to leave. I wonder when he becomes a vexatious litigant. 🤔

MangyInseam · 25/04/2022 01:23

stiritwithaknife · 24/04/2022 23:48

I agree that it is normal and common for an abused woman to fantasize about her abusive partner dying. I agree it is normal and common for an abused woman to even fantasize about killing her abusive partner.

Do you think it's normal or common for an abused woman to fantasize about raping her abusive partner's corpse?

JD is a man. That kind of language really doesn't have the same kind of implication or resonance for a woman with the same emotional state or intent. It's closer to someone saying they are going to fuck someone over. And women abusers don't always use sex violently which is pretty common for male abusers so that's different as well.

DropYourSword · 25/04/2022 02:28

CityRd · 24/04/2022 20:31

I agree.

Repeatedly on this thread it's: 'but she shat the bed' but no mention of his admission in texting: 'Let's drown her before we burn her and f@*k her dead corpse to make sure she's dead'.

Possibly because demonstrably he hasn't drowned, burned and fucked her dead corpse.

50ShadesOfCatholic · 25/04/2022 02:57

wow at the misogyny on this thread. 10/10.

Took · 25/04/2022 03:22

Amber isn’t a perfect, demure, weak little victim so she must be a liar.
If you shout, argue, fight back, rage, and retaliate you're just as bad.

Get to fuck.

He's a bastard. A violent one.

My ex was abusive and I fought back and was ANGRY. I was probably manipulative and mean too. All to survive the relationship. In no world was he a victim and me his abuser.

Amber might not be someone I would want to be friends with but so what? I believe she's the victim here.

He's another rich, white, famous, male with all the power and he thinks he can do whatever the fuck he wants. What a shocker.

starrynight21 · 25/04/2022 03:32

Theunamedcat · 24/04/2022 20:10

Because she admitted to beating him blatantly lied and got away with it because she is a woman

Because she had bruises on her fists from doing it

Because it was a toxic marriage they absolutely should be divorced but blame him totally because he is the man? No

My thoughts exactly. She wrote an article saying that she was a victim of domestic violence, but the evidence so far shows that she was doing the violence to him.

ElenaSt · 25/04/2022 04:16

It was a toxic relationship with neither behaving well but she had the video evidence of him acting violent and which trumps any he said she said.

I can't stand him, I think he wants to blame any bad behaviour on drink/drugs but not take any responsibility for drinking/taking drugs in the first place.

FartSock5000 · 25/04/2022 04:35

Depp unleashed a bot army and social media smear campaign that to this day spreads false news as fact.

He also used PR tactics to whip his fans into a frenzy and it worked.

There is evidence he was abusive including his own texts and emails.

She did not shit in his bed. He wasnt even living there at the time according to his own testimony.

Her parents did not side with him.

Milani Cosmetics lied for free views about their palette release. It was reviewed by Glamour UK in 2016 which means stylists and influencers could have had it in 2015 as a sampler.

Depp was not fired from PotC because of the allegations. After assaulting a crew member, unprofessional conduct which he told us about and plummeting box office numbers the Studio decided to reboot the franchise with Margot Robbie which infuriated Depp.

He was not fired by Disney. He resigned. What he's not telling fans is the truth. There are likely insurance reasons behind it. Actors cannot get roles in big movies without insurance and Depp has been on and off the wagon ALOT including his tour with Hollywood Vamps. No insurance company will cover a publicly proven addict on a bender like he was.

He lied again to fans telling them he can't get any work but IMDB shows otherwise.

He told UK court he was high when he was supposed to be watching his boy. But his fans will argue he is such a good dad. His daughter disagrees with that.

A cowering victim of domestic abuse doesn't call one ex a gold digging c*nt and make crude jokes about raping the corpse of another. A misogynist does!

Fans go after Amber because she recorded some of the abuse. Depp did too but his recordings are edited into minute long snippets, one even begins mid sentence so we dont hear the full context and twice Depp has refused to let the courts have the full hour long tape. Why? What's he hiding? Why is he allowed to record her but shes not allowed to do the same?

I'm sure I read their marriage therapist or the detox therapist told them both to record so they could show each other incidents.

He has an extensive history of drug and alcohol abuse AND domestic abuse with exes including juliette lewis, kate moss and winona ryder who was underage when he pursued her and who has now lied for him.

He has 3 different versions of how he cut his finger and smashing an iphone off the wall in a drunken rage is far more plausible than a vodka bottle smashing near him and hitting 1 finger.

Did we all miss his evidence where he admitted to jealous rages when Amber worked?

If hes the one living in real fear of her, why would he rage at all? Wouldn't he be afraid of setting her off? Yet his own testimony revealed he was jealous and angry and argued over multiple co stars and even her friends touching her.

A womans charity confirmed Heard made a 7 figure donation but she has said she cant donate more due to the court cases Depp keeps dragging her into.

He wants us all to see him as a gentle soul wronged by a gold digger but the real truth is he is absolutely an abuser.

I think Heard has exaggerated the injuries or cant prove the worst ones but if there are independent witnesses such as the nurse who confirmed her split open lip and Depps assistant sending her grovelling texts apologising for Depp's behaviour plus Lily Depp telling Amber she will always be there for her then I believe Amber has been abused.

Their mutually toxic relationship has ruined them both and the Depp fans lashing Heard with hate on his behalf are just as abusive as him.

Heard went away, had a kid and has lived a quiet life. Depp went on a bender and PR campaign even after a UK civil court ruled him a wife beater on 12 counts. He wont even accept hes an addict. Court on Friday hes laughing off being black out drunk/high in that ice cream pic and plane audio. She didn't need to stage those, we know he lies about the extent of his drug/drink abuse. Got his own sister to lie too! Johnny had a rough childhood and would never take drugs or harm a woman she said. Then we see texts she sent him begging him to stop the drugs! Kate Moss was certainly harmed when he trashed that hotel room.

Its constant lies or changing his story. The truth shouldn't be that hard unless he really cant remember because the real truth is a heavy drink/drug user cannot have perfect recall.

Amber Heard certainly manipulated him and loved the wealth and lifestyle and we know she has a temper but to say she had him cowering in fear and was the abuser while he was innocent is blatantly untrue based on Depp's own evidence, the worst of which gets glossed over by loud Justice4Johnny fans who believe his carefully constructed public image from years ago when he was Sober and a better man.

Aspiringmatriarch · 25/04/2022 05:02

I'm really surprised people seem to be dismissing the texts JD sent. The ones to Paul Bettany are so disturbing and that was relatively early in their relationship (I think?) - definitely before they got married. So it doesn't tally up for me that he was just reacting to her abuse. Especially as he referred to Vanessa Paradis in similarly horrible terms, after having left her for a younger woman. I'm pretty sure she did nothing to 'deserve' being referred to that way so even if you think Amber Heard is problematic as a victim, he's obviously ok with talking about the mother of his children in those terms.

It does seem like neither of them behaved well but I'm not convinced he was 'the victim'. There's a text and a voice recording where he says he cut his finger off, and it's on record that he was then writing in his own blood and trashing the house they were staying in. It sounds more like he was abusing drugs and alcohol and injured himself in the course of that.

His friendship with Marilyn Manson is quite telling as well IMO. These men recognise a kindred spirit and normalise their fucked up behaviour as part of the lifestyle. They both think they're tortured artists when they're really just seedy and gross.

I can believe Depp treats the majority of people he knows decently and is generous and loyal, but none of those people are going to be challenging him in any way. It could be a very different story with someone (a woman) who does.

NannyOggsWhiskyStash · 25/04/2022 05:19

FartSock5000 · 25/04/2022 04:35

Depp unleashed a bot army and social media smear campaign that to this day spreads false news as fact.

He also used PR tactics to whip his fans into a frenzy and it worked.

There is evidence he was abusive including his own texts and emails.

She did not shit in his bed. He wasnt even living there at the time according to his own testimony.

Her parents did not side with him.

Milani Cosmetics lied for free views about their palette release. It was reviewed by Glamour UK in 2016 which means stylists and influencers could have had it in 2015 as a sampler.

Depp was not fired from PotC because of the allegations. After assaulting a crew member, unprofessional conduct which he told us about and plummeting box office numbers the Studio decided to reboot the franchise with Margot Robbie which infuriated Depp.

He was not fired by Disney. He resigned. What he's not telling fans is the truth. There are likely insurance reasons behind it. Actors cannot get roles in big movies without insurance and Depp has been on and off the wagon ALOT including his tour with Hollywood Vamps. No insurance company will cover a publicly proven addict on a bender like he was.

He lied again to fans telling them he can't get any work but IMDB shows otherwise.

He told UK court he was high when he was supposed to be watching his boy. But his fans will argue he is such a good dad. His daughter disagrees with that.

A cowering victim of domestic abuse doesn't call one ex a gold digging c*nt and make crude jokes about raping the corpse of another. A misogynist does!

Fans go after Amber because she recorded some of the abuse. Depp did too but his recordings are edited into minute long snippets, one even begins mid sentence so we dont hear the full context and twice Depp has refused to let the courts have the full hour long tape. Why? What's he hiding? Why is he allowed to record her but shes not allowed to do the same?

I'm sure I read their marriage therapist or the detox therapist told them both to record so they could show each other incidents.

He has an extensive history of drug and alcohol abuse AND domestic abuse with exes including juliette lewis, kate moss and winona ryder who was underage when he pursued her and who has now lied for him.

He has 3 different versions of how he cut his finger and smashing an iphone off the wall in a drunken rage is far more plausible than a vodka bottle smashing near him and hitting 1 finger.

Did we all miss his evidence where he admitted to jealous rages when Amber worked?

If hes the one living in real fear of her, why would he rage at all? Wouldn't he be afraid of setting her off? Yet his own testimony revealed he was jealous and angry and argued over multiple co stars and even her friends touching her.

A womans charity confirmed Heard made a 7 figure donation but she has said she cant donate more due to the court cases Depp keeps dragging her into.

He wants us all to see him as a gentle soul wronged by a gold digger but the real truth is he is absolutely an abuser.

I think Heard has exaggerated the injuries or cant prove the worst ones but if there are independent witnesses such as the nurse who confirmed her split open lip and Depps assistant sending her grovelling texts apologising for Depp's behaviour plus Lily Depp telling Amber she will always be there for her then I believe Amber has been abused.

Their mutually toxic relationship has ruined them both and the Depp fans lashing Heard with hate on his behalf are just as abusive as him.

Heard went away, had a kid and has lived a quiet life. Depp went on a bender and PR campaign even after a UK civil court ruled him a wife beater on 12 counts. He wont even accept hes an addict. Court on Friday hes laughing off being black out drunk/high in that ice cream pic and plane audio. She didn't need to stage those, we know he lies about the extent of his drug/drink abuse. Got his own sister to lie too! Johnny had a rough childhood and would never take drugs or harm a woman she said. Then we see texts she sent him begging him to stop the drugs! Kate Moss was certainly harmed when he trashed that hotel room.

Its constant lies or changing his story. The truth shouldn't be that hard unless he really cant remember because the real truth is a heavy drink/drug user cannot have perfect recall.

Amber Heard certainly manipulated him and loved the wealth and lifestyle and we know she has a temper but to say she had him cowering in fear and was the abuser while he was innocent is blatantly untrue based on Depp's own evidence, the worst of which gets glossed over by loud Justice4Johnny fans who believe his carefully constructed public image from years ago when he was Sober and a better man.

This. He is blatantly an addict with poor impulse control and a really disgusting view on women. The misogyny on SM to AH is just vile.

Vikinga · 25/04/2022 05:24

Took · 25/04/2022 03:22

Amber isn’t a perfect, demure, weak little victim so she must be a liar.
If you shout, argue, fight back, rage, and retaliate you're just as bad.

Get to fuck.

He's a bastard. A violent one.

My ex was abusive and I fought back and was ANGRY. I was probably manipulative and mean too. All to survive the relationship. In no world was he a victim and me his abuser.

Amber might not be someone I would want to be friends with but so what? I believe she's the victim here.

He's another rich, white, famous, male with all the power and he thinks he can do whatever the fuck he wants. What a shocker.

Yep, I ended up drinking too much and after many years of being emotionally abused, accused and controlled a few times when drunk I would lose it and shout.

But my boyfriend's first wife is an alcoholic who was physically abusive and he was scared for his life at various times. She has been arrested a few times over the years and he got full custody of his children. Now he is big and strong and she isn't but she would beat him.

I can also imagine if he's a well known and loved actor how people would naturally side with him but by the sounds of it, it is hard to prove. Didn't his exes make statements saying he was never abusive?

Giraffesandbottom · 25/04/2022 06:14

@TheKeatingFive

i have read the link that you have posted and, whilst her version of events is vey graphic and therefore compelling, it’s impossible to say, in my opinion, which of their versions is true. It’s probably somewhere in the middle. They are both abusive and awful people (and I say that as someone whose father used to beat my mother so I am very happy for the man to be in the wrong). It’s just exceptionally dysfunctional and disturbing all round.

btw I can’t believe a poster feeling sorry for Paul Bettany! A decent person would have responded to Depp’s messages like “wtf man”.

Giraffesandbottom · 25/04/2022 06:15

I fully agree about Michael Jackson btw I can’t believe people still play his music etc

FartSock5000 · 25/04/2022 06:16

There is a fair summary of the case ongoing via ONTD if anyone is interested in facts only

ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com/123217754.html

It makes for unpleasant reading to be honest.

ClaireEclair · 25/04/2022 06:30

I’ve watched a few videos and JD does not come across well. It’s baffling that people think he’s completely innocent. It’s not unreasonable to assume that with the amount of drugs and alcohol being taken he was doing things he can’t remember which is what was suggested. The poo on the bed, it’s more likely it was one of the dogs so it seems like JD is grasping at straws with that accusation.

I don’t think Amber is completely innocent either though. She is on tape admitting to being violent. It’s all very grubby and shameful.

Eesha · 25/04/2022 06:47

He irritates me the same way Brad Pitt does because both are alcoholics and both accused of abuse yet the public love him. JD has long been an alcoholic hence was uninsurable. None of his exes spoke for him in his previous trial plus he allegedly was abusive to all. In a way I admire AH and Angelina for actually not taking things lying down. I came from an abusive relationship and my ex was handsome etc so I know how people can just assume the best of him.

Eesha · 25/04/2022 06:48

Oh and Paul Bs wife threatened to leave him over drugs he was doing with JD.

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