AIBU to disbelieve posters who say they're ugly but their DH is very attractive?

[PeaceLurking9to5]

Yes, a thread about a thread so sorry about that, but not one intended to make any poster who feels bad about her looks feel worse, the total opposite.
When I read this statement fairly regularly I think no no no no no, you have elevated him and relegated yourself. He's not as good looking to the rest of the world as he is to you, and you're not as unattractive as you think you are, you're just running yourself down.

It is eye catchingly rare to see an extremely handsome man with an unattractive woman, so if you tell us that you're really unattractive but your DH is very attractive, I don't think you're being objective.

@MurmuratingStarling I could say exactly the same for you 😅😅

"No one else can have an attractive partner that gets hit on, because I have simply never experienced it" 🤣 God love you.

Exactly!!! I bet the women who ‘went’ for 40-50yo men when they were in their 20’s also looked towards investment bankers and the like, as opposed to Barry who works in Tesco

I went for Sean, who was the mechanic in the garage next door but one, and then Kevin a coach driver. God knows why! Thankfully they were decent men, who, not literally, patted me on the head and pretty much ignored me in my tiny shorts and crop top. What was wrong with me!

My DH is a much more attractive personality, does that count?

He's just generally affable and likeable, whereas I can be a right argumentative, grumpy bugger...

I have seen quite a few attractive men with not so attractive wives. Probably because some people are attracted to more than looks.

My kids tell me that I am punching but DH puts me on a pedestal so I can't be all that bad.

As long as you have love and respect for each other who cares. My man is tall and slim, I’m little and dumpy , we are total opposites in other ways but are very happy and have been together 22 years.

Tbh this used to be me. But it wasn’t because I was so in love with DH (I am) but because from a young age my dad has made it clear he thinks I’m the ugly daughter. My husband didn’t believe me until they met and my dad apologetically told my husband that he knows I don’t have the prettiest face but had a decent body. My husband was horrified my own dad would say that about me.

Over the years though I’ve come to terms that my dad might think I’m ugly, but that doesn’t objectively im alright. My husband is very handsome to me, but nowadays I think we’re pretty equal in the looks department.

It's unusual but not completely unknown. I can think of 2 famous actors and 1 tennis player who have wives that you would not have necessarily matched them with.

You sound like a lot more fun for a night out tbh... shade and water - is he a vampire? 😆

I think our attractiveness was equal at first but not so much now. Dh looks like he did 8 years ago but with more white hair. I've put on a lot more weight, have a lot more greys and look more tired in my appearance. He is currently more attractive than me.

I don't know why you need a hard hat for that comment @RealBecca - that sounds totally spot on to me...

It's likely Dave is with a fat aging woman though. Is Dave deluded if he finds a fat 45yo woman attractive?

I am 69 and still attractive, as is the case with many of my friends. Most of the men my age look like shit.

Aside from the fact he is only very early 30s, you are also wrong in assuming 20-something year old women do not pursue much older men in their 40s & 50s

They might pursue them but how many would do so because they genuinely find them attractive?

Yes I think it is very easy to put ourselves down when it comes to how attractive we are and also big up how attractive our partner is. There's probably not as much in it as we lead ourselves to believe. I do tend to see more attractive women with less attractive men apart from one of the mums from the school run who has a husband far far far better looking than she is.Not really sure how she's bagged him considering she's a bit of cow aswell.🤔

@Veralil - wow, that was a super bitchy (or super thoughtless) comment by the florist 🙄

I'm ugly - small dark eyes, bad skin (acne) and hair. DH is attractive. We met very young though. He's let go over time, size wise, but I've stayed petite. He still has a chiselled jawline, sporty, pretty face and big blue eyes and skin that tans every spring/summer. He doesn't have an attractive personality though so women tend to get put off once he speaks.

My husband is a good looking chap and I’m a troll! I have awful asymmetry and a blood disgusting nose, absolutely hate my face! No idea what he sees in me!

I'm loving reading all of these.

It ebbs and flows. Looking at photographs DH was super good looking as a teen/ early 20s, much more so than me, but I really came into my own mid 20s, and looking back was really hot 😀.

When we met it was pretty equal, with me edging it😅. Nowadays (50) we're definitely equal: both look rather great when out, but today when he's in greasy car- fixing clothes and I'm my old tracksuit hoovering the car sans make-up we're also equal!

DS1 is traditionally absolutely gorgeous (voted hottest in his end of school year-book a few weeks ago) but thankfully a lovely boy who takes his mammy's advice about how to treat girls well and not be 'that' boy.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
however, I would say most couples I know are evenly matched, or at least they were when they met.
i’m def ageing better than dh, but he is 4 years older than me.
A lot of the time it’s personal grooming, not wearing ‘old person’ clothes once you get in to middle age.

Exactly this. It will be because the man has money or power. (Or both!) As has been said, most young attractive 25-26 year old women will not be interesting in 46 y.o. Dave who stacks the shelves in Tesco. (Even if he is OK looking.)

Perhaps they were similar to begin with but one hasn't aged very well. Or one has been making babies, getting up in the night and living on cold fish fingers while the other arises refreshed in the spare room, cycles on Saturdays and visits the gym after work. There seem to be a lot of couples like that.

We are all different and beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Not loving the way people grade looks on here or in rl. This trend of allocating a mark out of 10 for attractiveness is gross and most unattractive!

@SkiingIsHeaven

Your KIDS tell you that you are not good enough for their dad?

Wow. For once I am actually speechless.