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Original poster

To ask how I don’t be bitter this weekend?

694 replies

Dancingmoonlight · 23/04/2022 07:39

I’ve recently become friends with a girl I used to work with, we only worked together for six months and were friendly then, but have been spending some time together recently. Going for the odd cocktail etc. she’s always been nice enough.

She asked if I’d be interested in going to Berlin with her for the weekend, and I said yes. So here we are now and my issue is, my friend turned up with no money hardly. She turned up at the airport with 60 euros and only 7 pound for a four day trip. We have no food included in our room.

I wouldn’t have minded but she’s recently been on a 3 day night out, meals out, cinema and whatever else. Now we are in Berlin and she can’t afford anything and I’m having to subsidise us. Even at the airport with a 4 hour wait, she couldn’t even afford a coffee so I have had to cover it.

Now we are in Berlin, and she’s also so angry. If I go into a shop to look at anything or, if we go to a bar, it’s obvious she’s uncomfortable as she can’t afford anything and then it puts me on the spot. She’s also being very sweary and angry! This trip was her idea and she’s been abroad to European cities before so she knows they’re pricey.

Weve got two more nights and I honestly don’t know how to stop feeling so awkward. I brought enough money (280 euros) but it’s now draining so fast.

OP posts:
Alwayspaintyournails · 23/04/2022 12:10

Also if you round it upto €100 then she’s had a budget of €160 in total and you are down to €180!

she completely wins… both on a shit budget break and yet it’s still only cost her €60!!!
At this rate your going to be eating the cheapest option and she’s going to be living it up at your expense

stayathomer · 23/04/2022 12:10

Lovely people on here being angry that the op is in a shit situation not of her own making!! Of course you'd all just dump her, but op is trying to help. Sorry she's such a cf/clueless person OP. Hope you get something fun out of the weekend, definitely head off somewhere on your own

ButtockUp · 23/04/2022 12:11

Why didn't you say 'no' to the steak sandwich???

To be honest , why don't you just pay for anything she wants and then ditch her once you get home?

You clearly aren't going to stop subbing her, are you?

Regenbogen22 · 23/04/2022 12:12

stayathomer · 23/04/2022 12:10

Lovely people on here being angry that the op is in a shit situation not of her own making!! Of course you'd all just dump her, but op is trying to help. Sorry she's such a cf/clueless person OP. Hope you get something fun out of the weekend, definitely head off somewhere on your own

We're angry for the OP and also because she's not doing anything to solve the situation!

RedHorsesAreDangerous · 23/04/2022 12:12

Did she think food in Berlin was free or something?!

I had a "friend" like this when I was at University.Tight budget but always conscious of how things looked, took taxis everywhere (God forbid that the bus, or a cycle, or Shanks's pony would ever even be considered, and she looked down on me for taking those options), always wanted the most expensive thing on the menu...Needless to say the "friendship" didn't last past uni.

She almost failed her degree, I still think she was only given it out of pity. Last I heart she was working in a bar. (And there's absolutely nothing wrong with working in a bar, it's a tough job and I'd be hopeless, but it's the difference between what she liked to pretend she was and what she actually was that got to me.)

It sounds like you're subsidising her so much that getting a cheap Megabus or National Express/Eurolines (whatever they're called these days) home (or even a Sleazyjet flight) might actually cost you less. The other option, as people have said, if you don't want to cut your losses on this one, is just tell her you're going exploring on your own, leave early, and get back late.

And once you're safely back in England, end the connection.

pictish · 23/04/2022 12:14

If you have had a discussion with her this morning about her lack of funds and agreed (very kindly) to pay for her food, the steak sandwich is an absolute mickey take. It’s not even greed…it’s verging on control. Does that sound weird? I can’t think of a better word for it. There’s no humility. It’s bizarre.

JoshLymanIsHotterThanSam · 23/04/2022 12:15

Got to be honest I’d be booking a flight back home and leaving her to it. No sane person turns up to a city break with 60 fucking quid and no back up credit card. She’s using you op.

boronia · 23/04/2022 12:16

Remember the OP doesn't actually work with the CF anymore so she is never going to be repaid.

oakleaffy · 23/04/2022 12:17

boronia · 23/04/2022 11:27

Honestly OP, the weekend would be ruined for me. Cut your losses, change your ticket and go home.

This.
10 Euros for a steak sandwich?
she is definitely, most definitely taking you for a fool here.
what an unpleasant woman she sounds.

She should have chosen cheese and pickle ( Cheapest option usually).

oakleaffy · 23/04/2022 12:19

pictish · 23/04/2022 12:14

If you have had a discussion with her this morning about her lack of funds and agreed (very kindly) to pay for her food, the steak sandwich is an absolute mickey take. It’s not even greed…it’s verging on control. Does that sound weird? I can’t think of a better word for it. There’s no humility. It’s bizarre.

It’s definitely sounding like resentful jealousy on part of the scrounger.

phizog · 23/04/2022 12:21

OP, STOP BEING A MUG.

I am amazed that you are so scared of upsetting someone, you're letting them exploit you in this way. Of course she knew she couldn't afford to do anything on this holiday, because you, her bank, were coming along to pay for her.

What is wrong with you?? You are in your 30s and haven't learnt that not everyone is your friend just because you chat to them. Stop being so wasteful of your money and your time, and ditch her. She is no different to the telemarketing scammers you hang up on.

Sorry for the tough love but honestly, you need to shake yourself and learn how to not be conned. Or you will always be a target for every dickhead out there who can see you weakness.

Ditch her. And never talk to her again.There are no awards for being a nice person to scammers.

Tallisimo · 23/04/2022 12:22

This sounds very odd. Why would you arrange a break and turn up with no money? Presumably she has bank funds she can access? Whether she has or not, she shouldn’t be expecting you to pay for her. Can you afford to lend her enough money until it’s time to go home? Make sure you are very clear that she must pay the money back. Perhaps also tell her it’s best if you split up and entertain yourselves separately!

pussycatlickinglollyices · 23/04/2022 12:23

Wait until she's in the shower, pack your bags and leave. I'm sure you can find a cheap hotel somewhere to stay in Berlin or a cheap flight home.

This sounds like a good plan. Leave her to it. Don't pay for one more thing. You will never see her pay back a bean.

User237845 · 23/04/2022 12:24

She is outrageous. And in real life, it's hard to call someone out; that's what your CF friend is banking on. It's what all CFs bank on. Much sympathy, OP, but you need to stop this before the end of the weekend.

HikingforScenery · 23/04/2022 12:24

Not sure what you want from this thread OP. Unless you just need a rant? It sounds like you’re going to continue playing the role of mug.

KatharinaRosalie · 23/04/2022 12:25

I used to have a 'friend' like that when I was young. She was so very obviously taking the piss - like OP's friend, whenever she was skint again and asking, no, assuming I will pay for her, she was never grateful but always choosing the most expensive things. This person is absolutely doing it on purpose and was always planning that you pay for her trip. Oh and I would not be the least bit surprised if she had plenty of spending money and was just lying to you.

phizog · 23/04/2022 12:26

And she will 100% not be paying you back. Someone who was planning to would be apologetic and not taking the piss ordering the most expensive things. You will never see the money again.

This is how the Tinder Swindler was so successful.... Just because she's a woman doesn't mean she's any less a con artist. You've barely known her, stop lending people to hardly know money!

ParisNoir · 23/04/2022 12:26

stayathomer · 23/04/2022 12:10

Lovely people on here being angry that the op is in a shit situation not of her own making!! Of course you'd all just dump her, but op is trying to help. Sorry she's such a cf/clueless person OP. Hope you get something fun out of the weekend, definitely head off somewhere on your own

Nope- thats not what is happening at all. The OP isnt simply "trying to help"- that would be buying her a simple, plain sandwich. This greedy friend is going for the most expensive item on every menu and the OP is paying for it. We are angry because she is enabling this greedy, grabby rude behaviour and its completely unnecessary. What next? she demands foie gras, caviar and Crystal champagne and you'd argue that the OP has to pay for it as she's just "trying to help" this woman? No. I wish someone had stood up for me when I had dilemmas in the past like this - some of us have been the OP and we have suffered greatly because of it. Thats why we are telling her not to enable this jerk any more.

MurmuratingStarling · 23/04/2022 12:27

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 23/04/2022 07:41

Honestly I would just ditch her and go off and do lovely things by yourself! Have an honest conversation first but don't waste your holiday with a skint sulker!

This. ^ Ditch her. She sounds awful.

MurmuratingStarling · 23/04/2022 12:29

Dancingmoonlight · 23/04/2022 08:22

We are both in our 30’s. She’s been playing the whole “I’ll just not eat card” she said she only has 63p in the bank (UK) and 10 euros at home.

I’ve suggested free stuff absolutely like museums etc as enjoy those anyway. I realise it’s getting towards payday end of the month, but I did put money aside for this like most would. She’s mentioned “paying me back” for all the 5 euros here, and ten there- but I doubt it.

Im just a bit confused about how she thought that she would survive 4 days on 60 euros! Luckily our transfers were paid already so no taxi costs. It was suppose to be a cheap holiday but now it seems endless:

Urgh Shock She sounds so passive aggressive and manipulative! I wouldn't even go for a day trip to RHYL with so little money, let alone overseas! FFS! Hmm

sonjadog · 23/04/2022 12:30

Why did you not say no to the steak sandwich? Go to the supermarket and buy her some bread and cheap cheese spread. She is playing you and you are letting her get away with it.

pussycatlickinglollyices · 23/04/2022 12:33

I wouldn't even go for a day trip to RHYL

You should have stopped there, tbh.

zingally · 23/04/2022 12:33

She's trying to mug you right off OP! What a cheeky little fucker!

Sack her off, and go do your own thing! But just know that the friendship is very likely over at this point.
I'm sure she wouldn't... but just make sure you've got hands and eyes on your passport, tickets, cash and cards at all times.

Lilifer · 23/04/2022 12:36

diddl · 23/04/2022 08:15

Hasn't she got any card with her at all that she can use?

Surely people mostly use card abroad now and not actual cash?

Lilifer · 23/04/2022 12:38

Dancingmoonlight · 23/04/2022 08:22

We are both in our 30’s. She’s been playing the whole “I’ll just not eat card” she said she only has 63p in the bank (UK) and 10 euros at home.

I’ve suggested free stuff absolutely like museums etc as enjoy those anyway. I realise it’s getting towards payday end of the month, but I did put money aside for this like most would. She’s mentioned “paying me back” for all the 5 euros here, and ten there- but I doubt it.

Im just a bit confused about how she thought that she would survive 4 days on 60 euros! Luckily our transfers were paid already so no taxi costs. It was suppose to be a cheap holiday but now it seems endless:

Ok well she is a fucking chancer the . No one goes abroad with 63p to their name unless they are a simpleton - ditch her, go do your own thing, this friendship is over anyway