To ask how I don’t be bitter this weekend?

[Dancingmoonlight]

I’ve recently become friends with a girl I used to work with, we only worked together for six months and were friendly then, but have been spending some time together recently. Going for the odd cocktail etc. she’s always been nice enough.

She asked if I’d be interested in going to Berlin with her for the weekend, and I said yes. So here we are now and my issue is, my friend turned up with no money hardly. She turned up at the airport with 60 euros and only 7 pound for a four day trip. We have no food included in our room.

I wouldn’t have minded but she’s recently been on a 3 day night out, meals out, cinema and whatever else. Now we are in Berlin and she can’t afford anything and I’m having to subsidise us. Even at the airport with a 4 hour wait, she couldn’t even afford a coffee so I have had to cover it.

Now we are in Berlin, and she’s also so angry. If I go into a shop to look at anything or, if we go to a bar, it’s obvious she’s uncomfortable as she can’t afford anything and then it puts me on the spot. She’s also being very sweary and angry! This trip was her idea and she’s been abroad to European cities before so she knows they’re pricey.

Weve got two more nights and I honestly don’t know how to stop feeling so awkward. I brought enough money (280 euros) but it’s now draining so fast.

Orders the most expensive things - she probably said thd first thing that came into her head after being offered something to eat.

Op clearly said she looked at a menu that had loads of sandwiches like chicken, ham, tuna. So how was the steak sandwich the first thing that came to her head and not a cheaper option? Given the Op didn't order a steak sandwich herself...

Do we think it's normal when we offer to buy someone a meal, and they know we aren't well off ourselves, they pick the most expensive thing on the menu? And wouldn't stop to consider that when reading a menu? Food is life but I didn't realise steak was life too.

@MissPolliezDolly - you would be quite right to help a starving person. I'm sure we all would. This isn't a desperate starving woman, it's someone who hasn't budgeted for a planned holiday and expects the companion to subsidise her. Maybe you're ok with that, but some folks will freeload if you let them. This friend isn't going hungry. The baguettes and McDonald's will be fine.

this thread is only going to go one way; OP is going to update periodically with increasingly CF updates whilst all posters get very irritated and frustrated. Then there will be some sort of argument/denouement at the airport where CF says she isn’t paying anything back.

I reckon this could be the case. My MIL once on a holiday pleaded poverty so we didnt do the things we wanted including a pricey meal and didnt go on a trip. Turns out she had loads of money for buying souvenirs at the supermarket and on the boat.

Your friend had £7 so why did you have to buy her coffee ?

I bet cheeky fuckers just love you.

the person could be the biggest CF walking the earth but it wouldn’t matter if they were hungry.

And I’m not trying to make the woman innocent, and I certainly wouldn’t have given her money to buy her mum a present.

I don’t see the good In everyone.

I just wouldn’t see anyone hungry and I would only ever give what I considered good enough for myself, and perhaps even better than what I was having.

Food is life and should never be used to demean someone.

That is just ridiculous!

I'd be well and truly hacked off by this but I couldn't see someone hungry. I really feel for you, op. What an unnecessarily awkward situation. She sounds a nightmare.

I expect that the Op is out sightseeing (and paying for meals and souvenirs). There is probably not much point in putting one's foot down for one day and having an awkward return journey home.

But humiliation is probably the only thing that will curb a repetitive CF.
Else CF will just go from 'friend ' to 'friend' and copy her well rehearsed guilt trip lines.

CF , here, already knows that the OP isn't happy but will blindly carry on with her " why don't we go and get an ice cream" patter as CF knows that OP is too embarrassed to confront her.

That's how CFs go through life.

I'm embarrassed to admit that I've been in a very similar position to OP on more than one occasion, some years ago.

These CFs are not friends. They hook you in by pretending to be your very best friend and treat you as you treat them.
Once you're hooked then the endless sob stories come out.

Eventually you discover that you're the latest in a very long line of victims.

@MissPolliezDolly - you would be quite right to help a starving person. I'm sure we all would. This isn't a desperate starving woman, it's someone who hasn't budgeted for a planned holiday and expects the companion to subsidise her. Maybe you're ok with that, but some folks will freeload if you let them. This friend isn't going hungry. The baguettes and McDonald's will be fine

It doesn’t matter that she’s not homeless and regarding McDonald - a Big Mac costs 8 Euros in Berlin. But perhaps people actually mean she should only be offered a child’s meal in the first place.

I'm very bad with money and I can tell you what probably happened; she asked people back home, they said no, hence why she's so angry.

I'd never do anything like this though.

Worst case I'd ask to lend money.

I'd deffo had planned some free stuff and budgeted for food. I'd have then gone rounds on meals and paid for one of the meals and maybe got my food back in another place from the friend etc.

I wouldn't act like this. This is totally nuts. She's taking anger out on OP.

I did not say she was homeless. I said she wasn't starving because the OP is clearly buying her food eg a steak baguette

I hope you dump her once you get home. I'd be so angry. Cheeky bitch

I did not say she was homeless. I said she wasn't starving because the OP is clearly buying her food eg a steak baguette

My apologies. I don’t know where I got homeless from.

@MissPolliezDolly
The CF isn't going to go hungry.
She has ways and means.

How would you feel if someone went on holiday with you and announced , at the airport, that she'd brought her last savings of fifty quid with her?

Would you really be happy to fund her holiday? All her ice creams, steak sandwiches, mum's perfume, entries to exhibitions etc...?

I don't think so.

Hahaha best joke I've heard all day. "Demeaning" to expect someone who can afford to go on holiday to buy their own food.

Food is necessary for life, so the CF can spend a tenner at the nearest Aldi and stay alive. Steak sandwiches aren't life.

@MissPolliezDolly
Food is life and should never be used to demean someone.

the ops friend knew she wouldn’t go hungry because the op is nice and couldn’t see her go hungry the cf knows this .
I had a friend like this would never have any money sometimes true sometimes not . If she was down to her last £10 would still go to the pub , she’d be there when someone was at the bar and someone she’d vaguely know offer her a drink of course she say yes but she’d do this multiple times , funnily enough never was as generous back .This is how people like her operate they think you should be blessed with their company and you’d want to feed and water them and tbh a lot of people on this thread have similar cf stories because most people know a cf . Yes I get you you’d only plead poverty if desperate and you couldn’t see someone go hungry nor could I honestly that’s how they get away with it , they know people are nice , clever really! .I bet my bottom dollar if the op did refuse or offer her cheaper food than steak sandwiches the cf would somehow be able to get some money or put up with what was given as after all it’s her own making .
the friend I’m talking about we aren’t friends because I called her out of her cf freeloading she didn’t like it . they don’t have friends they hand people they can use .

I don't have any cash on me right now! (Ignore the debit card and credit cards, the cash advance I can get on my cc, and the good friends and relatives who trust me and know me well enough to extend me an interest-free loan) I don't have cash on hand so how will I pay for my weekly groceries???

I will be sending you my banking information by private message, thanks in advance! 😌

P.S. I will need wagyu beef so mind you budget accordingly.

That’s fine but I draw the line at perfume so please don’t be offended when the delivery man tells you there’s at least one item missing from your order

Apologies everyone been a busy day and just got back to hotel.

I agree I should’ve been tougher but I wasn’t expecting it, and it’s so bloody awkward to s it there with a coffee or a sandwich while someone “doesn’t have anything” even to prove a point.

I do think the friendship is probably over come Monday. I sat her down and spoke to her about potentially borrowing from her mum for tomorrow and Monday as I’m already down to my last 100, and think it’s gonna be tight and her exact words were

” oh I can’t expect mum to lend me, maybe for a bill but not a trip away” but seemingly the bank of me is ok! I did say that, and she replied “yes but you’ll get it back so don’t cause a scene!”

I’m trying to remain positive and see it through, I’ve been mentally counting up her owings (feel like Ebeneezer Scrooge) and she says she will pay back on Tuesday but who knows.

I just know I couldn’t ever come away with her again after this, it’s put such a dampener on something I was looking forward to and stress.

How much does she owe you @Dancingmoonlight ?

Poor you! You'll never go on holiday with an acquaintance again, I bet.

We are currently on 58 euros for her, and about 9 uk pound.