To not feel sorry for Amber Heard even in light of evidence

[Wheresmywoolyjumpers]

I always loved Johnny Depp. Was really wanting to take his side, but the evidence being presented is making that impossible for me. But as much as I want to support women, I cannot warm to Amber Heard. is it patriarchal brainwashing? Is it that they both seem spoiled and behaving badly? Or something else?

Well, his genes actually do quite a bit for him when it comes to domestic violence. They make him far, far less likely to be a victim in the first place. And they make him far, far less likely to be seriously injured or killed in the unlikely event of it happening.

Male violence against women and girls is at epidemic levels throughout society. It is always wrong - no exceptions. And it's depressing to see MNers bleating "but what about the poor MEN who are victims too", particularly as the stimulus for that response is JD having once looked quite nice in a pair of tight trousers, and AH not conforming to feminine stereotypes.

I agree @Wheresmywoolyjumpers There is just something about her. I think she's a little bit unhinged actually. I have heard her screaming at him (Johnny) and threatening him ... (on various recordings.) She is VERRRRRY pretty though. Not that this has anything to do with anything! Just saying.

She is on tape, admitting to hitting him.

I don't care about the court case. They can destroy each other for all I care.

Amber Heard has said that she was scared of him so she could just have left his house and gone elsewhere. He has never said he wanted to leave her. So why would he leave the house?

I don't think that only nice women she be protected by the law from DV. But I also don't believe that women shouldn't be accountable for the abuse that they've perpretated too. Regardless of the outcome of the case, we now know that Heard was manipulative and violent towards Depp

I believe she has invented the whole thing start to finish. She has no objective proof. He does. And thus I know exactly why I do not warm to her.

I have default sympathy for her- even though I don't know all the details. I'm finding the whole response to the trial really hard. I was in an abusive relationship and people liked him more than me. He was charming and charismatic. I wasn't an easy straightforward victim, there was drink and drugs involved.
I bet people I know talk(ed) about me like they talk about Amber.

I don't think what potentially went down before hand justifies ? It's terrifying

Which kinda begs the question why Heard chose to needle & question the scary man, rather than keep her head down or get the feck out of the house. Like any sensible, scared person would have done, surely @NippyWoowoo ?

& before anyone counters "well she needed evidence or no one would believe her" - frankly, if that's the best she's got, it's not convincing.

Being a grumpy, frightening, drunken arsehole in your own home isn't a crime.
And every grown woman knows better than to deliberately bait a nasty drunk.
It just looks like an incompetent attempt to star in her own Famous Victim show.

I just think it's awfully sad that two once "ordinary" people came together as two spoiled and indulged adults and created this utter shit show of a marriage.

I know nothing of AH, but from what I've read JD was a decent person (aside from leaving his previous marriage, but lots of people do that), kind to fans, who is now so deeply into drugs and alcohol that he vomits in his sleep.

And now here they are in court, airing their dysfunctional over-privileged mucky laundry in public trying to prove who is the bigger liar.

Isn’t this case a question of if she lied about him being abusive? I’ve barely scratched the surface here and I can say with 100% certainty that he is an addict who smashes things in their home. That makes him abusive. Full stop.

I don’t need to see any more and I’m not going to traumatize myself by doing so. That kitchen scene; I’ve been in that room in person, I know what it feels like to be near that kind of evil.

she may have done the same or worse in return, but that isn’t the question of the trial. He is suing her for lying about being abusive. He was abusive.

He has never said he wanted to leave her. So why would he leave the house?

Given the behaviour he exhibited towards her, on tape, and his documented feelings towards her in his texts (wanting her violently killed and then sexually abused) I believe he should have had the cop on to leave her rather than running the risk of these urges getting even more out of hand.

I mean, what are you arguing, that he was happy?

By which I mean leave her. The house is irrelevant.

They make him far, far less likely to be a victim in the first place.

Statistics don't matter here because he was a victim of domestic abuse from Amber Heard.

And they make him far, far less likely to be seriously injured or killed in the unlikely event of it happening.

He suffered permanent injury because of her violence.

As someone who had bones broken, was bitten, punched, kicked out of bed, strangled on top of grinding sexual coercion, financial and psychological abuse and control I have kind of avoided watching this. Where are you all getting your info from?

Judging by the video I have just seen, if AH was being physically abused she had some balls to film him kicking off. Really dangerous and brave to do. The consequences of doing that made me not even consider it. If I had filmed exH abusing me and he found the phone I'd be dead.

Whether he is guilty of domestic violence or not, those texts he sent to Paul Bettany laughing and joking about murdering her, setting her on fire and shagging her corpse are utterly repulsive. For those defending him, I wonder how you'd feel if a boyfriend of your daughter was sending texts like that to his mates? I also wonder how Johnny would feel if HIS daughter's boyfriend was referring to her like that. Somehow I doubt he'd find it "hilarious" then.

Isn’t this case a question of if she lied about him being abusive? I’ve barely scratched the surface here and I can say with 100% certainty that he is an addict who smashes things in their home. That makes him abusive. Full stop.

Quite

I agree- and actually he LOST his trial in the UK where he claimed the term "wife beater" was slanderous. It was decided in that trial it wasnt slander and there was truth to it.

Amber recorded everything.
I wasn't there but I'm allowed an opinion.
And in my opinion she's the abuser.
Being a women doesn't get you off Scot free.

She's set back women being believed.
That's on her,no one else.

Yes exactly. My ex used to film me like that to collect evidence that I was mad after hours of baiting me. The police said it is a known tactic for abusers to film their victims to try and reverse victim and offender. I used to get to the point I was crying, hitting myself, pulling my own hair because I was in distress, and he would film me. The police said it was like bear baiting. I never videod him, sometimes he would smash my phone to pieces because he though I might text, call or take a photo without his consent. I would never have been able to video him. Yes it is abusive to create an atmosphere by doing that in most cases, but I'm not convinced. From my own experience, my ex would used to threaten to commit suicide if I left him. Whereas I at some points considered it because I was just in such emotional distress and could see no way out. It's hard to capture that in a couple of minutes of video but it doesn't sit right with me filming people like that. If you're scared of somebody why would you film them? I know my ex was filming me because he thought it would help him to manipulate me into not being able to leave (and for use in child court). He used to threaten to post things online of me having a meltdown basically (after hours of shouting in my face, spitting at me, throwing things at me etc.) I have known other victims who had the same experience. He looks like he's at his breaking point, angry, drunk, not in his right mind. Why would you bait the bear and film the bear? You would leave the bear alone right? Unless you actually weren't scared of the bear after all because you are the one with the sharp stick and keys to its cage and know that it's more growl than bite anyway.

Women that post in here that are being abused all say that they can't leave because they have no money, nowhere to go and they're scared for the children if their partner got some sort of access without them present.

I've been clear in my posts that Heard isn't bound by these restrictions. She has no children. She's independently wealthy. She has friends to take her in.

The two situations don't equate.

This is a link for a live TikTok feed vm.tiktok.com/ZMLb3rKbB/

@purplewolfie - that was exactly what I was musing on. How positive feelings to one person can affect how we see another, even when the first person is shown to be less than ideal. And with the way the media has performed over the last few years I am really trying to notice when my feelings are being manipulated or skewed.

@DisappearingGirl - you are spot on - the heart vs head thing. And I have been thinking a lot about the messages I have absorbed about perfect victims, etc etc. I thought I was pretty switched on about these things so it has surprised me that I am responding as I am.

@Greensleeves - I think you missed the point of my original post.

Yes. She defecated in his bed. And there are photos. Ugh.

@AngelaRayner4PM - yes, I am also reading a lot about the case because of my discomfort. Hence the post - I am trying to work through my responses.

@Meltinthemiddle , youtube has a lot of clips from the testimony without analysis or comments so you can make your own opinions.

100%

Being a grumpy, frightening, drunken arsehole in your own home isn't a crime.

Oh dear, walking around slamming and kicking things in 'your own home' can actually be considered emotional abuse, which is in fact a crime.

And every grown woman knows better than to deliberately bait a nasty drunk.

OH DEAR.

And every grown woman knows better than to deliberately bait a nasty drunk.

jesus 🤦‍♀️