To not feel sorry for Amber Heard even in light of evidence

[Wheresmywoolyjumpers]

I always loved Johnny Depp. Was really wanting to take his side, but the evidence being presented is making that impossible for me. But as much as I want to support women, I cannot warm to Amber Heard. is it patriarchal brainwashing? Is it that they both seem spoiled and behaving badly? Or something else?

This idea that we must believe the woman over the man no matter what is reprehensible

Absolutely no one is saying that however

I have no feelings at all either way about Johnny Depp, never watched any of his films, knew very little about him.

But from what has been reported I am convinced that Amber Heard is lying and she was abusive.

My post is about her because that's the title of the thread!!

She claims she was being beaten and was scared of him. So why would she stay with him?

It was his house. They weren't even married two years. Why would he leave?

They are both grubby and unwatchable to me now. I believe they 'guilty' of abuse. His emails to Paul Bethany about Amber are stomach churning, her supposed behaviour also stomach churning.

MVAGW is unacceptable in any circumstances.

Maybe it's more that we don't think men should be subject to violence either, and that in this case it seems very much like they were both feeding into a nasty, gross, toxic , violent relationship.

I almost always take the woman's side in abuse cases. It's my natural vantage point as a domestic violence survivor. But amber heard is an abuser so this isn't straightforward. She had previously assaulted her girlfriend, her assistant and her sister. She has admitted assaulting Depp. She was trying to silence people and control the narrative, including manipulating her own parents. She is Joe a good person. Her assistant actually said she used the assistants sexual abuse story for herself, that kind of stuff is anti women and anti abuse survivors. It's really awful, unforgivable to me, for her to be a domestic violence spokesperson and be telling lies and making out she was the ever victim (and by default never abuser). When actually she has a known pattern of abusive behaviour. I think she was abusing Depp.
I don't have strong feelings about his side. He obviously has some addiction issues, unresolved childhood trauma and is very narcissistic (as is amber heard, it's basically their jobs 😂) and I don't know how much of this is a well crafted act and how much is the truth. They were probably both abusive to each other. I don't imagine he is the best guy in the world or the worst, but I imagine their relationship was the perfect recipe for bringing the worst parts of both of them out. And as much as a childhood being abused by his Mum means he might also be Heards victim, it could also contribute to him thinking that he is not that little boy anymore and doesn't have to take it. It is all too easy to move around the drama triangle from victim to perpetrator to rescuer and back again. Very few people are in one role only. It does strike me that of the two of them he was at least the one who tried to walk away from arguments etc. I feel like he is a dysfunctional individual with a lot of issues who may or may not be an abuser in other circumstances, but that she is a classic narcissistic abuser. Neither of them comes off well in this, but I would feel more confident that Depp wouldn't repeat the behaviour than Amber Heard. I feel like Her only way of relating to the world is through dysfunctional/ abusive relationships with some kind of power imbalance. I think with Depp it was more circumstantial, although that doesn't mean he also wasn't abusive or violent

Well at least op isn’t totally fangirling JD. I cannot believe the snippets I’ve seen of the trial are the same if people are so positive it is poor Jonny/bad Amber.
he is so calculating in his responses, bumbling, acting, shy smiles etc - it’s transparent and infuriating. Both awful people from what I’ve seen.

My post is about her because that's the title of the thread!!

there is no rule on here that only the person referenced in the thread title can be talked about.

it's more than legitimate to ask why either of them didn't leave, given the nature of the relationship.

The court case being fought right now is specifically about whether he abused her. He's suing because she claimed (though not directly) that he dif

My friend has long facebook post about how she believes him and how Amber is a liar , i am not sure how she can say with such certainty as she obviously wasnt there.

Do i believe him? No because i dont know what really happened
Do i believe her? No because i dont know what really happened

What i do know is that they are as vile as each other.

The one is as vile as the other, their relationship purely toxic.

what does he 'get'?

Massive reputational damage.

and what has age got to do with it?

Middle-aged man ditches partner of many years for a younger model. That.

I generally dislike Johnny Depp. I only really know of Amber Heard because of these court cases.

Something doesn't ring true. Personally, from what I've read, I think they have both been abusive to each other. I haven't seen any actual proof of his physical abuse (happy to be corrected), obviously she's admitted she hit him. If

The texts are very unpleasant. But if she was abusing him and he was mouthing off, I can understand it. I'm not defending them. I know I can look back through my phone to messages to a friend about an abusive ex, they're not as graphic but they are also unpleasant.

They're both awful people who had a horrifically dysfunctional relationship. He clearly has/had massive addiction issues and was a nightmare to live with. On the other hand, she also has a drink problem at the very least.

However, there is a lot of evidence, including her own admissions, on tape, that she was physically violent towards him in addition to other extremely abusive behaviour. But there seems to be no real evidence that he was violent towards her.

Two of his ex partners have stated that he was never violent to them (even though he was almost certainly drinking and using drugs while he was with them too). Obviously that doesn't automatically mean that he couldn't have become violent after he moved in with Amber Heard, but it does make it a lot less likely, I think.

I was a victim of domestic violence myself, and it's an issue I feel very, very strongly about indeed. I would not in a million years defend a man who had attacked his partner and I've never been any kind of fan of Johnny Depp. But looking purely at the extensive evidence I've seen, I think she is probably the primary aggressor.

She previously was arrested for assaulting her ex-girlfriend. She is on tape admitting to assaulting Johnny Depp. There is no evidence JD has ever been violent. I think the facts are fairly clear.

Another saying they are both vile. I used to adore JD too. He is a sad caricature of his younger self 😢He should of stopped using substances long enough to see what he was getting into.

Ooh I think this is such an interesting case.

My logical brain says: No-one really knows what happened. They were probably both guilty of being horrible to one another. People (particularly women) deserve protection from abuse whether they appear likeable or not.

My gut feeling says: I feel like he's generally a good person and not an abuser (though he has issues and did not behave well in the marriage). I feel like she's untrustworthy and has built up this case against him unfairly.

I feel guilty for having those gut feelings!! But it's interesting how many people are saying the same.

I think they are abusers and abused. I have no sympathy for either though, they both knew it was wrong but still did it. Made me lose a lot of respect for Johnny Depp. Don't see him in the same way now.

I don't feel sorry for her. I don't feel sorry for him either. I think they're both abusers, both awful people and both as bad as each other.

Quite. Sounds awfully like victim blaming to me...

There is hard evidence of him being emotionally and verbally abusive though.

Amber Heard has previously been violent in a marriage. It certainly sounds like there was mutual violence and abuse in this marriage. Like everyone I abhor VAWAG, but her Washington Post piece never mentions the fact that she was an abuser too. She claimed to lose endorsements and film roles solely because she was a victim of domestic violence. And she was a victim but she was also being violent, a fact that has appeared not to be a secret. Johnny Depp quite rightly lost his film deal because he was an abuser. Why should she not receive the same consequences? They both appear to be so caught up in drugs or celebrity status.

I don't feel sorry for her. She's vile. They both are toxic. She loves playing a victim here, when she's equally as bad.b

I think they are equally to blame for how this whole thing has played out. it was just a toxic dysfunctional relationship all round between the two of them. I do absolutely hate though that sometimes people scramble to find something that the woman in the situation must have done to cause the males behaviour.

From what I've read - haven't followed it too closely though - I've come away with the impression that while he clearly has massive issues, certainly when it comes to drink and drugs, Amber has been the more manipulative and spiteful (filming him after goading him etc), and is the one who has been physically abusive.