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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Paying £65 for a meal for a fussy eater

131 replies

Bouv72 · 21/04/2022 17:47

Im In a bit of a dilemma . A family member has arranged for a private chef to cook for my dads 73rd birthday . I have recently found out that the cost is £65 per head which I’m happy to pay for myself and my husband but not for my two children .aged 11 and 13. My daughter is a particularly fussy eater and only eats small amounts of food . I don’t want to seem unreasonable about it but I really can’t justify paying £130 for two children . Help ??

OP posts:
Scienceseeker · 21/04/2022 17:49

Just say your children will eat before you go or you’ll take a picnic for them.

Hadalifeonce · 21/04/2022 17:50

Can you not just tell the family member not to include your children in the planned meal, either you cook for them, get a takeaway or ask if the chef would prepare something appropriate for a much smaller sum?

SnowingInApril · 21/04/2022 17:51

Not a chance in hell I’d pay that much for my DC to eat!

What would happen if you refused?

Peakypolly · 21/04/2022 17:53

Don't bring them?
Surely they will be pretty bored to sit at a table whilst the other guests enjoy a tasting menu? Are you sure your DC who does not struggle with quantity, would not enjoy fine dining? It may awaken a lifelong interest.

Ops1 · 21/04/2022 17:55

Don’t take the kids or say they will eat before they go

is it being held in a family members house?

GoodSoup · 21/04/2022 17:56

There no way I would pay that for my kids. You aren’t being unreasonable. Is the family expecting you pay that for them?

toastofthetown · 21/04/2022 17:57

Will your other child eat the meal, or is it just one who is too fussy to eat it. I wouldn't see a problem with saying you children won't participate in the meal and pack food for them to eat. I would be inwardly rolling my eyes if you opted out of paying for your children and then if they liked the sound of the food expected to be catered for anyway gratis - especially if I'd paid for my similar aged children to be included.

SpinningForVictory · 21/04/2022 18:01

A family member has arranged for a private chef to cook for my dads 73rd birthday

And is presenting you all with the bill? Not much of a treat they're providing - more like making a phone call and asking others for for money.

I wouldn't even go to this. £65 each for food each, plus paying for your father presumably, plus drinks? What have they got planned for his 75th - a picnic created by Marco Pierre White on the banks of the River Cam?

stimpyyouidiot · 21/04/2022 18:04

I get annoyed paying £7 for a kids meal in a pub so I couldn't do this at all! Can they eat before?

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 21/04/2022 18:11

If your children won't eat it then it's probably better if they don't attend.

I was eating tasting menus at that age though and would expect other children to give it a good go - but maybe that's really weird going by the previous responses?

jamoncrumpets · 21/04/2022 18:15

I did similar for a family party recently and the kids had pizza!

gogohm · 21/04/2022 18:15

I would have expected my kids to eat at that age, the younger would have been very annoyed to be fobbed off with "kids" food. However alternatively don't bring them

Vikinga · 21/04/2022 18:17

No way!

NancyJoan · 21/04/2022 18:17

You either leave them at home, or pay up. You can’t expect to take them, and pay less, just because they are fussy.

LovelyLovelyWarmCoffee · 21/04/2022 18:21

Either don’t bring them or pay their share, it would be awkward to have them
sit there with a packed dinner while everybody else enjoys a gourmet meal. Maybe acceptable if they are the only kids but if others are taking part it would be odd. Just my opinion though, it depends on your family as well.

Original poster
Bouv72 · 21/04/2022 18:28

It’s at my parents house . Other family members are happy to pay - most don’t have children . It’s £65 pp all in - no extra cost .

OP posts:
BlancmanegeBunny · 21/04/2022 18:32

I wouldn't pay that for kids!
Will the price per person go up for everyone if you don't take your kids?

toastofthetown · 21/04/2022 18:32

Is it a tasting menu, as others have said? Or just a three course meal? If so, I'd just leave them. There's a reason most restaurants won't allow you to mix tasting menu and a la carte diners on the same table.

Riverlee · 21/04/2022 18:33

Can you see if there’s a child rate, or say you’ll bring pizzas and ice cream for them.

MissPolliezDolly · 21/04/2022 18:38

Honestly OP, none of my children were fussy eaters apart from one who’s severely autistic and I’d have had no qualms about paying 65 pounds for a meal for the non fussy eaters because they were all good eaters and enjoyed food. And my other child who’s now a fully grown man? Well, his needs would have been catered for before anyone else’s no matter where we were and an alternative would have been provided. You need to talk to whoever it is doing the organising and say - this won’t be suitable for Mary/John.

SpinningForVictory · 21/04/2022 18:39

Is the chef using your parents' cooker? (sheer nosiness on my part - I'm fascinated).

DressingGownofDoom · 21/04/2022 18:40

Order the kids a dominoes.

SophiesMummySaid · 21/04/2022 18:42

I’d put the kids in another room order a takeaway and put a movie on for them. Everyone would be happy with that deal in my family !

Favouritefruits · 21/04/2022 18:43

I’d be getting a Mcdelivery for the children, it’s ludicrous to spend £65 on a meal that won’t be eaten or enjoyed!

Itloggedmeoutagain · 21/04/2022 18:45

Fussy or not that's £130!

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