Paying £65 for a meal for a fussy eater

[Bouv72]

Im In a bit of a dilemma . A family member has arranged for a private chef to cook for my dads 73rd birthday . I have recently found out that the cost is £65 per head which I’m happy to pay for myself and my husband but not for my two children .aged 11 and 13. My daughter is a particularly fussy eater and only eats small amounts of food . I don’t want to seem unreasonable about it but I really can’t justify paying £130 for two children . Help ??

So I imagine this is the sort of thing that's been booked? (Randomly thought of this Masterchef finalist from a few years ago whose food I liked the look of.)

www.cheflouisaellis.com/dinner-party

I'd imagine most chefs of her level provide similar services - either menus she sets herself (but can take dietary intolerances into account) or a personalised one (which I'd guess is more expensive). If the other guests are happy with the chef's choice I can't see them wanting to pay more on the account of a fussy child. But if you can narrow the child's fussiness down to one or two "intolerances" then maybe the chef can work with that. If there's a risk the child will still refuse to eat the meal at the table I'd just leave them out of it, send them to a friend's for the day or something.

My kids would have eaten an adult sized meal at that age (my son was 5'9" by then and my daughter 5'6" and hadn't grown since), so I'd be paying!
Just ask if they can have a smaller portion or bring your own food (or leave them at home).
I hope this 'family member' made sure it was ok before spending your money!

But £65 per head is a big ask for most families, especially when it is more than one person and at this time when many people are struggling to pay bills. Also it sounds like it would be a waste of money for the DC if they won’t like the food provided.

My MIL had a big birthday recently and was treated to a fancy meal, but everyone going was asked beforehand if they were happy paying the amount involved before booking and it was in lieu of any presents

In the OP she says she’s happy to pay for her and her husband, so imagine that the £65 per head falls within generally accepted spending in the OP’s family. Without OP coming back to clear things up though, that’s just speculation.

At my MIL’s meal it was a tasting menu for slightly more per head than the OP’s cost. But this didn’t include drinks. Once the wine flight was added and MIL’s cost shared across relatives DH was looking at a cost of about £300.I and DC didn’t attend otherwise it would have been crazy money!

I would be making sure you know all costs involved

My kids would have loved to be part of an event like this at that age. And they should be included as part of their grandfather's celebration. I do think that there should be a reduced price for the kids, if wine is included in the per head price, but I wouldn't expect them to eat anything different to the other guests.

To me, especially if your children won't particularly appreciate the food, it is more about the occasion. They aren't little kids. Barring any additional needs they should be able to sit at the table for the meal as part of the family. I would clarify whether the cost includes wine and then question whether the kids should therefore be cheaper, but if you can afford it then I think the children should participate.