Paying £65 for a meal for a fussy eater

[Bouv72]

Im In a bit of a dilemma . A family member has arranged for a private chef to cook for my dads 73rd birthday . I have recently found out that the cost is £65 per head which I’m happy to pay for myself and my husband but not for my two children .aged 11 and 13. My daughter is a particularly fussy eater and only eats small amounts of food . I don’t want to seem unreasonable about it but I really can’t justify paying £130 for two children . Help ??

That was my thought. I wouldn't want to pay so much for 2 kids to eat a fancy meal at their grandparents house. It doesn't matter if they are fussy or not, £130 for 2 children to eat is astronomical!

And sorry for all the posts, but what would the general attitude be to the children eating different food at the same meal?If the chef is cooking in their kitchen, then you won't be able to heat up anything without getting in the way, both in terms of hob/oven space and just being underfoot. What would the general family attitude be to your two preteen/ teenage children there with separate meals. Would it be better if they did't attend this event, or would your father want them there anyway?

Politely decline, not worth £65 for you, never mind the children.

YANBU to not want to pay but the options are either for them not to go or for you to provide pizza or something else that they will eat. Although then as PP said you may have the issue of them fancying some of the catered food (I’m thinking dessert most likely) that you haven’t paid for them to have and they weren’t included in the numbers. It is a bit awkward to have to bring separate food for secondary school age children though, it’s not like they’re toddlers when it would be expected.

My teenager is a brilliant eater and has a very good palate but I still wouldnt be paying that amount of money for - sorry - a total non-big birthday. Apologies if your dad is dying or 73rd is the peak in your particular family religion/ethnicity/life dreams etc. It just seems utterly over the top.

Do you want to pay that for you and DH even?

Perhaps the grandparents can see their grandchildren another time.

I would take something with you that you know your kids will eat. I don't think it would be reasonable under any circumstances to pay £65 per child but I do thinkits important that they get to sit at the table

make it an evening dinner at Dad's, leave the kids at home with a babysitter.

It doesn't state it's a tasting menu.

We went to a taster menu event once which was £55 per head and we paid full whack for our DS young teen who has ASD and food anxiety and only eats familiar food. We took snacks of familiar food for him, told him he was absolutely fine to not try anything but welcome to try tiny tastes of anything he wanted and have more of anything he liked. (There was no option for us to go without him) Of the dozens of things served he tried 4 and liked 2. I considered that £55 well spent because it was a valuable experience for him to know that sometimes unfamiliar food is ok, and DH & I polished off the extra food he didn't want with no trouble. Given that it's a family event and a one-off that is more about getting everyone together than it is about the actual nutrition I would say don't rock the boat, give it a chance and you may be pleasantly surprised.

You’re correct. It doesn’t. The notion that it is has just gathered feet and legs as the threads gone on.

I wouldn’t pay that. Are you allowed to ask for children’s portions?
Also, does that price include wine? as presumably the children wouldn’t be partaking.

Just don’t have your children at the table.

At 11 and 13, they would often be ordering adult sized meals in most restaurants so if the chef is going to be catering for them then they should be paid for that, but you don’t have to include them.

Apart from the fussy eater why wouldn’t you pay for the other child who’s either 11 or 13 to not eat the meal provided because it’s 65 pounds.

I do think it’s important though for them to be at the table.

Will not taking the children, increase the price per head? I wouldn't be paying for my 11 year old, his food preferences are extremely narrow, and he would find it unbearably stressful,made worse by his father internally combusting, at the waste of money, and trying to bully him into eating.

They should have made sure everyone was happy with this idea before it was decided IMO. Inviting people to a meal and then telling them they have to pay £65 per person is not on.

Do you want to go? If you do then I'd leave the kids at home. Make sure you tell the organiser though so they know for numbers - you don't want to be charged for 4 if only 2 of you go! If you don't want to go then I'd spend the £260 you've saved on a lovely day out with your dad or something else he'd like.

This ^

Hasn’t the person who’s asked you for the money got any sense? Why would they think you’d be comfortable paying that for children? They should have discussed this with the chef in advance, or come up with a contingency so you don’t have to be the awkward one making a fuss.

The whole thing seems a bit odd. What made the person who arranged it think you would be happy with that cost? And it it actually £65 per head, or have they divided the total cost by the number of attendees to get to that figure? If the latter then I wouldn’t have expected them to include children in the numbers.

If it’s all-in I would guess that includes wine, maybe other forms of alcohol? That would be one very good reason to ask for a discounted kids’ rate!

Well if they are assuming the children are eating then why wouldn't they include them? They aren't toddlers. At any restaurant they's pay adult prices.

Kids eat separately, I can't imagine this would be a problem! In a similar situation recently, all the kids ate pizza watching a film while the adults had the fancy meal in the dining room.

Because this is a family occasion in a person’s home. The meal isn’t really for the benefit of those eating it - it’s for the benefit of the birthday-“boy” as part of the occasion. Usually the cost of a joint present would be divided between the adults, not the children.

This wouldn't even be a dilemma for me. As soon as anyone mentioned paying £65 for the DCs, I'd have said they're not eating with us.

Although if only one is a fussy eater, would the other feel they're missing out? It can be difficult for family to know when DCs jump from kids' menu (or a takeaway in another room) to adults' menu and sitting round the table with the birthday boy. You just need to tell whoever is organising it.

£130 for two kids?! OVER MY DEAD BODY!

Leave them at home and leave them £50 for an all they can eat chinese for 1/3 of the cost!