Paying £65 for a meal for a fussy eater

[Bouv72]

Im In a bit of a dilemma . A family member has arranged for a private chef to cook for my dads 73rd birthday . I have recently found out that the cost is £65 per head which I’m happy to pay for myself and my husband but not for my two children .aged 11 and 13. My daughter is a particularly fussy eater and only eats small amounts of food . I don’t want to seem unreasonable about it but I really can’t justify paying £130 for two children . Help ??

I'm confused as to why you're asking for "Help ??"

Can’t be arsed to read the whole thread because it’s so fucking obvious that you just ask what the chef will they be charging/preparing for the kids.

Wow. That’s a cost.

how many children going ? You say most don’t have them. So assume some are or are they much younger

are they all having /paying kids meal prices

I wouldn’t pay £130 for kids to eat

happy for them to sit at the table if they wanted

but again sounds they may be bored

a pizza /takeaway and film in lounge sounds better

i get grandad wants them there as big birthday or else I would say leave at home. Esp if no other kids there

Also I’m intrigued what menu you get for £65pp

So the last thing is that your kids turn their noses up at it but when it comes to the puddings start tucking in. I am not sure ordering Macdonalds or pizza is in the spirit of the dinner which sounds lovely btw.

Perhaps think about letting them sit this one out. I have been to Gordon Ramsey’s just the once and apparently someone called the restaurant saying their teen wouldn’t eat fancy food and could Gordon cook a omelette for them. The answer was fxxk off. This is fine dining. Maybe it’s not for them considering everyone else bar you are happy to fund.

If it was costed to include your 2 children then surely the cost of the meal will just increase for as LL other guest, assuming the cost has been split between the number of guests attending. Rediculous amount too pay for a childrens meal.

Never mind £65 per child its the £65 per adult……..

Is that a normal rate?

Whose idea was this? Were you all in agreement?

To answer specific your question op, I'd feed them before the event and use the cash saved towards the shopping etc

Would your dad be upset if they weren't there?

Would your kids make an effort to eat it for him?

Would they be more likely to eat it out of curiosity?

Is the chef tailoring the menu to your family?

I don't think the 'pizza in the other room' plan will go down all that well, but surely there are other options? Could the menu be created to accommodate some of DD's likes? Would it kill the other guests to compromise?

I reckon if that price per head is all-in, then it probably includes different wines with each course as well.

Has the chef been told there will be children attending?

Even if the chef creates a simplified menu for the children, I can't that bringing the cost down significantly. It's worth asking the question about alternative menus, but only if your concern is the food provided rather than cost. I don't think it's surprising that no-one has raised the topic of a children's menu or pricing. At my wedding, the children's menu ran to 10 years old then it was adult menu and pricing. Most restaurants are similar.

As there will be other children there, will your children feel self conscious having the 'children's menu'? I would have done at secondary age. At that age we were eating at the main table with the adults, not at the children's table as someone suggested. As a pp has said, I'd discuss with your children if they want to go, how it fits with their preferences and the costs involved. This might sound a bit brutal, but a lot of socialising is around food, and you can't protect your children forever from the fact that if they can't join in with a meal they'll either have to be comfortable eating before and joining in with the socialising regardless or missing out.

Behave. It's a private house. Gordon Ramsay could be cooking in my mum's kitchen and id still tell him to fuck off if he told me I couldn't do what I wanted in my family home..

Ah sorry the soufflés sank. Someone had to open the oven door to add in a frozen pizza.

Got to be honest, I wouldn't even pay £65 for myself let alone the kids. Jesus.

It reminds me of that scene in Friends where they go to that expensive restaurant but half the group can't afford it but we're too embarrassed to say anything. I'd be mortified if someone suggested this sort of thing - imagine having to go along with it because you don't want to be the only one that thinks it's hideously expensive a tad overpriced.

Quite sad to see so many people recommending the children eat separately. How will they learn to discover and like adult food if they aren't given the opportunity to try it? They're part of the family as much as the adults. At that age I would definitely have been eating the adult food. Ordering the bland kid's rubbish off menus just wasn't something we did, I'd have a smaller portion of adult meal if available or more often share half with a sibling. Would have been gutted to miss out in the next room with pizza!
OP can you ask if the chef offers half portions for children?

Well yeah, the OP's asking about £65 for the child who won't eat it.

Quite an ordinary one and all the more so when you deduct the price of the drinks.

I have an autistic young teen with food issues. There have been some special occasions when I just had to accept that we were going to pay an extortionate amount for her to sit and have a roll and hopefully a dessert. Sometimes she doesn’t even get a roll. We do it for family harmony and to teach her about dealing with these social situations that she is going to face for the rest of her life. We also Have the luxury of a decent discretionary income so it doesn’t hurt as much as it would for other families.

whether or not I would agree to this particular event, I’m not sure. It doesn’t seem particularly special or conceived with the guests in mind. I also resent other people spending my money. I prefer being asked. I could be wrong though. It’s possible this is really special for your FIL and doing this is your gift for him.

For that price I’d expect the chef to cook what the children want. I’d contact the chef and give him/her a list of the children’s preferences.

Do you want DC to be part of the meal or not? If it was in a restaurant rather than a private chef at home arrangement, would they come? Is this sort of spend normal for you? Sounds not, but many people would pay £250 ish for a family meal out on a special occasion and a private chef event will probably be more memorable and special for your DF.

If you don't think it's worth it for them to be part of the occasion, probably best to leave them at home with a babysitter (or alone if they can be trusted to behave and be safe for the evening and they're not too far away). They probably won't feel like they're missing out if they're not interested in the food and then it will be an adults only event, which may be more fun/relaxed anyway. Maybe order them a Domino's or something similar that's a treat to them?