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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have a gut feeling that a man I just met is "the one"?

142 replies

gelatodipistacchio · 19/04/2022 21:54

I don't like most men.

The first time we met, I had an instant feeling that he should be my boyfriend. We have now been on 5 dates and we both seem to be head over heels (while not rushing).

I still feel firmly that we will have a serious LTR.

Do you believe in gut feelings/instincts? AIBU to have this intense, instinctive belief?

OP posts:
Sexnotgender · 19/04/2022 21:56

I knew my husband was the one from our first date.

RedskyThisNight · 19/04/2022 21:56

I believe that people have gut feelings. I think they are as likely to be wrong as to be right. I think that people also have a tendency to rewrite history I suspect that if, in another 2 months, you have gone off your new man, you will potentially convince yourself that you always had a "feeling" that there was something off about him.

Original poster
gelatodipistacchio · 19/04/2022 21:57

@Sexnotgender do you have any idea why you felt this way?

OP posts:
Original poster
gelatodipistacchio · 19/04/2022 21:58

@RedskyThisNight should I feel that way, I will have to refer to this thread Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
gelatodipistacchio · 19/04/2022 21:59

(if relevant, I got the feeling after we talked, not before. He's attractive but not drop dead gorgeous or anything)

OP posts:
Aria2015 · 19/04/2022 22:01

I was like this with my dh. I had planned to move away and was in the process of organising the move. I met now dh and I cancelled the whole thing before he'd even asked me out... I just wanted to see what happened but somehow I just knew something would.

SallyLovesCheese · 19/04/2022 22:01

I knew about 2 months after meeting my now-DH that I loved him and he was the one. We hadn't even been on any dates or decided we were dating! I'd just met him a dozen times. 15 years later here we are!

Hadalifeonce · 19/04/2022 22:05

I knew the moment he looked at me, we hadn't even spoken. We have been married nearly 24 years.

Dogscanteatonions · 19/04/2022 22:06

I felt like that after the first date with my dp. 5 years in now and it's still utterly brilliant.

BonnieBeaumont · 19/04/2022 22:06

Like Aria, I'd planned on emigrating. I postponed it (and eventually cancelled) after meeting someone via a mutual friend. I knew he'd be special. We're still together 20 years later.

DorothyZbornakIsAQueen · 19/04/2022 22:07

The first night I met my husband I knew I was going to be in a LTR with him. We met in a cheesy nightclub and it was someone my sister knew.

We've been married for 15 years, together for 20.

worldcomesalive · 19/04/2022 22:08

I’ve recently reconnected with my first love. I guess it’s not the same thing because I really really loved him before but it’s been nearly a decade, and I now very early on know that he’s the one. No one has ever made me feel like he does.

travailtotravel · 19/04/2022 22:10

I knew. Very weird and can't explainit. If you'd have told me anything like that I'd have laughed at you. Married 14 years ago this year.

Silverbirch2 · 19/04/2022 22:11

I knew after first date. I told my cousin that night that my date was it. I would be with him and have kids. 17 years later and 2 dc and were totally still in love and he is my friend. Totally believe in gut feelings. But don't force it,weve had some rocky times too.

FuggyPidding · 19/04/2022 22:15

I knew. Can't explain it either but we've been married 10 years and have 2 DC. The first time I saw him I knew we'd end up together - and stay together :)

Lipsandlashes · 19/04/2022 22:17

Yes! I knew I would be marrying DH the first time we met.

HirplesWithHaggis · 19/04/2022 22:17

I didn't know immediately, but a couple of months in. He used to wear his granny's wedding ring on his right hand, and one night when I couldn't sleep and was watching him snore, I heard my late father's voice in my head say, "Aye, you'll see that ring on the other hand yet."

Almost 40 years later, we're still happy together. But I did buy him a new ring.

JulesRimetStillGleaming · 19/04/2022 22:21

No. I had a gut feeling. Turned out he was married, love bombing me and a liar. God knows what I was feeling.

redbigbananafeet · 19/04/2022 22:26

@gelatodipistacchio

I don't like most men.

The first time we met, I had an instant feeling that he should be my boyfriend. We have now been on 5 dates and we both seem to be head over heels (while not rushing).

I still feel firmly that we will have a serious LTR.

Do you believe in gut feelings/instincts? AIBU to have this intense, instinctive belief?

I had this 14 years ago. It was a friend of a friend and I told my friend "I'm going to marry him". We had the most amazing two weeks and have lived in different countries since and I've never seen him again. I have to this day never felt that way about another man and I've been engaged twice! When you know you know. I hope it works out better for you x
Aconitum · 19/04/2022 22:28

DH proposed to me walking home from our first date 42 years ago this week and he's still making me laugh every day.

LuluBlakey1 · 19/04/2022 22:29

I'd avoided dates and relationships for over 6 months when I first met DH. I wasn't sure I ever wanted to be in a relationship again and I certainly wasn't looking to meet anyone. But we were introduced on a course by someone we both knew and I remember our eyes kept meeting and I had to stop myself looking.
I didn't expect to see him, he lived in Leeds and I was in Newcastle but as look would have it he had a job starting up here 6 weeks later. He had bought a flat 10 minutes walk away from me.
He asked my friend for my email. Took me out a couple of weeks later when he was up sorting his flat out one weekend and it was magical- I will never forget our first date (no sex just connection 😁).
I kept him at arms length and resisted him for another month but it was a pointless thing to do- he was convinced we were going to be together. We managed to not just chuck ourselves into it and we did really get to know each other but we were almost living together 4 months later and married a year later. He asked me 3 times before I said yes.
That was 12 years ago now. We just really like each other's company - we talk a lot, have similar intelligence levels and challenge each other, similar moral values, lots of laughing and fun. We are very supportive of each other.
I've never reacted to anyone the way I did to him when we first met. I remember my friend asking what I thought of him on the way back from the course and I said 'He's clever, funny, decent, I like him but I bet he'd need managing'. I was dead right. DH likes to be managed (he would say he doesn't but he absolutely does. He likes the line to be drawn).

LidlMissSunshine · 19/04/2022 22:32

I knew the night I met DH. I saw him across the room in a shitty dive bar and I just knew I would talk to him that night and it would mean something important.

I can’t explain it better other than when I saw him it was a feeling of, ‘Ahh there you are’. Like, I could stop looking now.

So weird. But 12 years on and he still makes my tummy flip when I see his name come up on my phone.

bellsbuss · 19/04/2022 22:36

I knew from our first date, moved in with him within weeks. He told me he loved me on our first date and I felt the same. Had a baby very quickly and then 3 more over the years. His ex wasn't impressed as he wouldn't live with her or discuss future plans and that's why he ended it. We met about 6 weeks after they split and she is still bitter 25 years later.

RosesAndHellebores · 19/04/2022 22:37

The night I met DH (he had a long term girlfriend; I was taken along by my fling) as we sat down to dinner, I looked up met his eyes looked down and read his name and thought "I shall marry you". Gave myself a metaphorical slap because he was handsome, charming and entertaining. We could barely keep our eyes off each other and danced enough for I to be noticed.

He broke off with his girlfriend a few weeks later and a few weeks after that phoned me up and asked me out for dinner (when you had to remember where someone worked and look up the company in the directory). We had a lovely date. We have been together since our 2nd date and rarely spent a night apart. That was more than 33 years ago. Been married for nearly 31.

StillMedusa · 19/04/2022 22:39

I was seeing someone (was in my second year at University) but joined my family for a summer holiday in Malta. Saw this man tipping his chair back on two legs and his Mum telling him off Grin which seemed ridiculous.
It literally went through my head 'you are going to marry him'

I was not looking for anyone and thought he looked too old for me (I was 20 he was 26)

We've been married for 32 years now... Smile

Never before or since, has such a clear thought entered my head!!!! I just KNEW.