To ask what wedding guests actually find important?

[Scarfmisuseissues]

Might regret this knowing how anti-wedding MN can be but here goes! Am in early stages of wedding planning and want to focus our budget on things that will actually make our guests day more enjoyable, as we recognise there's a significant cost/effort involved in attending to celebrate with us.

As a wedding guest, what details/gestures etc are actually important to you, and what could you not give a crap about?

For example, MIL was horrified at my suggestion we ditch favours,-: I'm never that bothered about them, but she thinks people will find it rude.

Also, are you offended when receiving an evening only invite or is it fine? We want to keep numbers at the ceremony smaller as DP is quite shy.

We won't be able to stretch to a free bar all day/night, so that's a no no.

Thank you for participating in my research.

@LuckySantangelo35 will there be periods of time when your guests will be hanging around with nothing to do?

@LuckySantangelo35 there isn’t always a bar, and if there is it can be extortionately expensive. And 3 hours drinking and no food is not always a good mix, especially if you have travelled in the morning so haven’t eaten since 8am. So to go from 8 til 3 with no food but some alcohol could be a recipe for disaster

I'd be happy to watch a couple get married, then go. The rest of the wedding tends to be the same, tedious and boring with food that, though probably expensive, can easily be bettered with a supermarket ready meal.

If you really can't see what is wrong with leaving your guests which might include pregnant women, children and the elderly, with no food from breakfast (8am ish) to 3pm then I am glad I'm not coming to your wedding.

What would happen is that at some point I would decide that in order for us all not to feel ill we would leave and drive to McDonalds. I guess it's one easy way of getting rid of some of your guests.

there will be some time when guests are expected to entertain themselves.

Ceremony starts at 2.30pm. When do you propose I feed my guests? Maybe give them burgers whilst I say my vows? Would that do?

@LuckySantangelo35 what time is your reception?

You are deliberately being obtuse. It is absolutely clear from the timings posters have given that we are talking about weddings that start at 10.30-11am and where there is no food until 3pm.

Depending on travel time I would expect a guest attending a 2.30pm wedding to be able to have an early lunch about 11.30am-12noon so it wold be acceptable to not have to fed them until about 4.30pm-5pm

@toomuchlaundry
8pm

So are you not providing anything from between 3.30 (assume that when ceremony will be finished by) until 8pm @LuckySantangelo35 What is happening between ceremony and reception?

Surely if they feel really hungry on the way to the wedding they can stop and have a sandwich or something as well.

adults who cannot wait for food and act as if they’re starving cos they’ve gone a few hours without food really annoy me

Its been repeatedly said on this thread that people hate the hanging around while the bride and groom bugger off for photos but you're going to do it anyway? People are not going to enjoy your wedding. But you do you.

Crack on Lucky. I guarantee your wedding will be remembered for all th wrong reasons.

We are humans. We need food. I would feel ill if I did not eat from lunchtime to 8pm. If guests are getting taxis etc or are the middle of nowhere it's not easy to just stop for a sandwich somewhere.

You need to warn your guests that there will be a significant amount of time where they'll be doing nothing and that food won't be provided so to eat before they come. Dont be that person.

Well there’s the time the ceremony takes then there will be some photos, time for a toast guests to mingle etc. Wedding breakfast about 5pm maybe 5.30pm.

Why? Realistically the photos should be over by 5pm at the latest. What’s the extra three hours for? A bottle of fizz and a shag for the bridal couple?

@Comefromaway
day guests will be having wedding breakfast about 5pm-5.30pm.

Then why did you say 8pm?

That's not what you said originally. You said the reception didn't start until 8pm. 2.30pm wedding with 5-5.30pm meal is fine. 2.30pm wedding with 8pm food is not.

So what will guests be doing between the ceremony and the reception, and what will you be doing (dare I ask!) @LuckySantangelo35?

so guests will have to wait a mere 3 hours for food. If food is all they are thinking about to the extent that they’re waiting for it, which my guests won’t be - they will be too busy having a good time to be fretting about when they will get food

@Blossomtoes
sorry I thought you meant the evening do, when evening guests will start arriving, when that starts

You originally said they would be waiting for 6 hours though. Not 3 hours.

You hope.

Reception is wedding breakfast for most people? What is the reception, the evening do? Are you providing food then too?

Of course i hope! You can have a good time and food not be involved