To ask what wedding guests actually find important?

[Scarfmisuseissues]

Might regret this knowing how anti-wedding MN can be but here goes! Am in early stages of wedding planning and want to focus our budget on things that will actually make our guests day more enjoyable, as we recognise there's a significant cost/effort involved in attending to celebrate with us.

As a wedding guest, what details/gestures etc are actually important to you, and what could you not give a crap about?

For example, MIL was horrified at my suggestion we ditch favours,-: I'm never that bothered about them, but she thinks people will find it rude.

Also, are you offended when receiving an evening only invite or is it fine? We want to keep numbers at the ceremony smaller as DP is quite shy.

We won't be able to stretch to a free bar all day/night, so that's a no no.

Thank you for participating in my research.

Keep the very drunk people away from things they can knock over !

Good selection of non-alcholic drinks, not just water and juice.

Plenty of food, not too weird food.

Childfree wedding.

•gannett•

I went to a real good wedding a few years ago which had a fantastic band who played a mix of very good music, they also did a far amount of ceilidh dancing would call the dance then it would start with traditional music then it would change have way through the dance so ended up dancing to something very modern . They real wear a great wedding band it was such fun.

Maybe the bride and groom should just not bother having photos done at all given it might leave the guests “bored” and we can’t have that!

you don’t need feeding or entertaining literally every second of a wedding people!

Lol to the person wanting sausage rolls.
some people really do just want quantity over quality and loads of food at a wedding! Not gonna happen at my wedding! People on here food obsessed when it comes to weddings, terrified that if they’re not fed huge hunks of stodge all the time that they will pass out through hunger!

yay to the people who prefer a child free wedding though, I’m the same

No way am I gonna blow all my wedding budget on food which is what some posters legitimately expect the bride and groom to do!

There is a difference between not being entertained every second and being left standing around outside a church/venue because the bride and groom have disappeared for an hour and a half and you can't even go inside to get a drink or get food for your kids. Especially when the wedding is the middle of nowhere.

I recently went to a wedding where I was served a slice of cauliflower and some cucumber ice as my main. The bride and groom were quite open about what a bargain the deal on food was.

@Comefromaway
well surely the point is that you mingle and chat with other guests etc for an hour. That’s not such a hardship is it?? And your kids can wait for food presumably you fed them before coming to the wedding, they won’t need to be fed immediately after the ceremony, kids can go a couple of hours without food.

That’s extreme! I’m obviously not advocating that! But the endless stream of food some posters want or expect is ridiculous

Plenty food and drink.
That is all.

Allocation of budget is really important.

Don't spend a fortune on your wedding dress and the venue to then have basic food and a pay bar in an expensive venue that charges through the nose. You really shouldn't be making guests pay for drinks if you've money to spend on expensive outfits.

Much better to hire a village hall and have nice good food and free drinks than a wedding in a country house with sandwiches and expensive drinks.

So what would your wedding look like @LuckySantangelo35?

Problem with many weddings is that there tends to be a lot of hanging around, once the ceremony is done. Guests need something to do. You are also sometimes stuck at the venue. If you don’t know many people at the wedding, food is the thing that keeps you going!

It's not a couple of hours though is it. Yes, you would have breakfast before hand, arrive at wedding venue by 10.30am for an 11am start. Wedding ceremony takes an hour. Then an hour faffing around afterwards for group photos, then bride and groom disappear off for another hour-2 hours for more photos/goodness knows what. Before you know it it is 2pm and no sign of food anywhere and you are the middle of nowhere. By the time you sit down to eat it's 3pm

I want to see my friends get married. Will happily fuck off after the service if its a local wedding.
Parties are great but the service is the important bit for me.

Aren't disposable cameras actually pointless these days, given that almost everyone has a smart phone - and getting films developed is a pain in the bum?

I know someone who did this a few years ago and they all got left on the tables.

I went to a great wedding in a church where the guests went into the attached hall for coffee and copious amounts of cake and savouries whilst the photos went on. Worked a treat.

I also went to one where the gap between wedding breakfast and evening do (it was all held at a hotel) was 2 hours and there was nothing to do at all. We tried getting the hotel to serve us some coffee (for which we would pay) but they refused!

@littledrummergirl I’m the same.

And? Really don’t see what’s so bad about that?

This thread has put my mind at rest as I'm having a late in the day wedding followed by plenty of food and booze and no wedding favours as I'd rather put the money towards the comfort of my guests! Phew!
Thanks OP and everyone else! Definitely a good read!

So what do you expect your guests to do for 3 hours @LuckySantangelo35? That is incredibly poor hosting

It’s fine to bugger off and have photos done for hours but you either need to give people food/drink or tell them so they can disappear.

I went to a wedding reception in the middle of nowhere. Rushed to it from wedding. Wedding party didn’t turn up for HOURS. Turned out they’d had photos and lunch. We were all elbow to elbow in a tiny bar that only sold crisps.
if they had told us we would have gone somewhere else for a bit (wedding was in town)

@toomuchlaundry
it just wouldn’t revolve around constant food!
I’m getting married soon and day guests will get wedding breakfast and there will be hot sandwiches in the evening. im not stressing and spending loads on extras like canapés, snacks, etc in between, fuck that!

On posts about weddings I’ve seen before I’ve seen people suggest that the bride gets a cheaper dress or cuts back on flowers or something in order to provide more food ( when they’re already providing ample)

@toomuchlaundry
presumabley they can get drinks from the bar?
and just chat etc. I’ve been to weddings like that before and it was fine

Disposable cameras are great. We got some fantastic pictures from ours which we’d never have seen if they’d been on guests’ phones.