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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Asking someone to move seats on a flight? Aibu ?

816 replies

wearejustfriends · 18/04/2022 14:31

Last week I was travelling to Gran Canaria with TUI.
I had booked mine and boyfriends seats when we booked and paid £22 for both.
I had the window and he had the middle.

A lady sat on the end and her daughter was in front.
She asked could they have our two seats and we have hers /daughters or my boyfriend switch with her daughter.
I politely said no.
Which she wasn't happy about.
We got "what difference does it make"
"Your adults,my daughter is sacred of flying and is a minor"

Anyway we wouldn't move.

Was I in the wrong ?
Surely if she was that bothered she could have paid like us.

OP posts:
transformandriseup · 18/04/2022 16:12

You value money and the entitlements it gives you more than a stranger's child's feelings. The privilege is all yours. Own it.

Ha ha Grin

Dacquoise · 18/04/2022 16:12

I've had this before, didn't move as I wanted to enjoy the flight with MY daughter next to me. We also had to insist on another flight that the chancer who grabbed our window seat in a row of three be moved when it was the airlines policy to sit in your own bubble. There's a lot of CFs out there!

ExMachinaDeus · 18/04/2022 16:12

Ah I see the ‘be kind’ brigade are joining the thread! Never has a phrase set women back so much. Who cares if op is a nervous flyer and paid extra to sit near her partner to help her. Her feelings and situation and money are irrelevant. She should ‘be kind’ and do as she is told.

Brilliant post! thanks for writing this @NobleYeats1 For me personally, what you've written is a cut out & keep thing. Flowers

Oatsandstuff · 18/04/2022 16:13

@wearejustfriends

Also I told her I had paid for seats. Her response was "what difference does it make"
In that case she sounds like she may have learning difficulties!
Cryingintherain99 · 18/04/2022 16:14

At the end of the day it all comes down to kindness.
There are plenty of people who like me would have felt for the poor girl (who had absolutely no say in whether her mother paid for them to sit together or not).
My first and foremost thoughts would have been with the child.
It's like giving to charity in one sense. You choose whether to do it or not. Some people would choose to help, but clearly there are plenty who wouldn't.
No matter how I felt about the money, I would have felt more at ease knowing the child could sit with her mum to help ease her fears.

CorsicaDreaming · 18/04/2022 16:14

@Nanny0gg - re the Robot's post - totally agree with you 🙄🤣

LouB76 · 18/04/2022 16:15

@Genevie82

..I’m going against the grain here but think the decent thing to do would have been to swap the seat with her child.. you sound petty tbh.. I expect what happened here is that she had been unable to book seats next to each other as they were all booked out already - it’s happened very recently on a flight I did so you have to sit like this with your child and rely on the kindness of strangers - or not in your case! I could not have sat through that flight knowing the child infront of me might be feeling nervous not being with their mum, regardless of what I though of them and then post on MN to try and make myself feel justified!
The child is the parents responsibility, not The OP's responsibility.
Oatsandstuff · 18/04/2022 16:15

Out of interest
How was the girl on the flight?

Paragon86 · 18/04/2022 16:15

@LaurieFairyCake

Last time someone asked me this I said of course I would for the £40 I'd paid extra to sit together (loudly)

When she said 'why would I pay you for them' I said (again loudly) 'why would I give you £40 for free'

Lots of people smiling near me... Grin

The perfect response to this sort of request!

Well done for standing (or rather sitting) your ground OP, any acquiescence only encourages this sort of CF.

I had similar in the theatre once - she wanted the end seat - so did I, that’s why I’d booked it!

Oatsandstuff · 18/04/2022 16:16

I bet her mother was willing her to cause a fuss and throw up!

Oatsandstuff · 18/04/2022 16:17

At the back of my mind I’d be wondering

Is this child going to puke all over me or disrupt my film viewing!

toastofthetown · 18/04/2022 16:18

@Antarcticant

I can understand 'de-bundling' when it comes to not paying for food etc, that you don't want, but choosing your own seats doesn't have an inherent cost to the airline so I agree with pp that the airline is at fault for using this as an excuse to winkle more money out of passengers.
It allows them advertise the price at a lower headline rate, rather than getting more money out of customers overall. As someone who happy sitting wherever on the plane and alone this suits me. If airlines stopped charging the fee to select seats, the base ticket price would increase.
notimagain · 18/04/2022 16:18

@CorsicaDreaming

"Yes I agree @Antarcticant - totally reasonable to charge extra for hold luggage and to limit hand luggage, due to the weight - but the additional cost to allocate a seat is just blatantly there to get more money out of people."

It is indeed, but fundamentally the airlines sure as heck ATM need to get money out of people to make a profit.

If they can persuade some people to pay for allocated seats it helps them do that and even potentially, in theory at least allows the "randoms" on the same flight to pay less to travel.

And to answer the question posed by the OP ...I wouldn't have moved...

Iloveacurry · 18/04/2022 16:19

If she was so bother about sitting with her DD, she should of paid like you.

Clymene · 18/04/2022 16:19

Next time I go to the theatre, I'm going to ask someone in row A to swap their seats with shitty ones behind the pillar in row P and tell them Mumsnet said it's the kind thing to do

grapewines · 18/04/2022 16:20

Nope. She can pay for seats like other people or jog on.

LadyCordeliaFitzgerald · 18/04/2022 16:20

@Cryingintherain99 I hadn’t thought about it like that. You sound very lovely.

Hawkins001 · 18/04/2022 16:21

@Clymene

Next time I go to the theatre, I'm going to ask someone in row A to swap their seats with shitty ones behind the pillar in row P and tell them Mumsnet said it's the kind thing to do
That's hardly the same comparison, with a plane it's just a seat, still the same destination, at a theatre, it's about seeing the show etc.
Change123today · 18/04/2022 16:21

My daughter is scared of flying - she recently booked her holiday and paid to ensure she is sat with her boyfriend- but she also nervous that she may be put in that situation and be asked to move because someone else has t paid to book the seats. I’ve told her not to move and ask the flight attendant to deal with it. She doesn’t like confrontation and is far to nice a person!

Ninjaexpress · 18/04/2022 16:22

@Cryingintherain99

At the end of the day it all comes down to kindness. There are plenty of people who like me would have felt for the poor girl (who had absolutely no say in whether her mother paid for them to sit together or not). My first and foremost thoughts would have been with the child. It's like giving to charity in one sense. You choose whether to do it or not. Some people would choose to help, but clearly there are plenty who wouldn't. No matter how I felt about the money, I would have felt more at ease knowing the child could sit with her mum to help ease her fears.
Oh give over. The daughter wasn't at the other end of the plane from her mother. There's being kind and then there's being a pushover. It would have been kind of the mother to just move on when Op said no, rather than hassling her.
Oatsandstuff · 18/04/2022 16:23

@Genevie82

..I’m going against the grain here but think the decent thing to do would have been to swap the seat with her child.. you sound petty tbh.. I expect what happened here is that she had been unable to book seats next to each other as they were all booked out already - it’s happened very recently on a flight I did so you have to sit like this with your child and rely on the kindness of strangers - or not in your case! I could not have sat through that flight knowing the child infront of me might be feeling nervous not being with their mum, regardless of what I though of them and then post on MN to try and make myself feel justified!
@Genevie82

That’s quite an imagination you have!

One problem though

Don’t you think the woman would have mentioned this to Op?

BeyondMyWits · 18/04/2022 16:23

I might have moved. Depends on the reason she didn't book seats.

Back when I was a frequent flyer planes often got cancelled or you got amalgamated into one plane, or actual plane got changed meaning a different layout, or people got bumped to another flight, or, or, or...

Oatsandstuff · 18/04/2022 16:24

@LaurieFairyCake

So you would have moved if they’d handed you over the figure you’d paid for the seat?

grapewines · 18/04/2022 16:25

You value money and the entitlements it gives you more than a stranger's child's feelings. The privilege is all yours. Own it.

Yes, I do. If I paid for a seat it is because I want to sit there for my comfort. The child's comfort is her parent's responsibility not mine.

SuchAsSeals · 18/04/2022 16:26

I hate it when people ask you to move, particularly when you've paid to book specific seats.

YWNBU.

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