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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Asking someone to move seats on a flight? Aibu ?

816 replies

wearejustfriends · 18/04/2022 14:31

Last week I was travelling to Gran Canaria with TUI.
I had booked mine and boyfriends seats when we booked and paid £22 for both.
I had the window and he had the middle.

A lady sat on the end and her daughter was in front.
She asked could they have our two seats and we have hers /daughters or my boyfriend switch with her daughter.
I politely said no.
Which she wasn't happy about.
We got "what difference does it make"
"Your adults,my daughter is sacred of flying and is a minor"

Anyway we wouldn't move.

Was I in the wrong ?
Surely if she was that bothered she could have paid like us.

OP posts:
Original poster
wearejustfriends · 18/04/2022 16:02

@Genevie82 I'm not petty.
I'm a nervous flyer hence paying for seats together
It's not my problem the woman didn't book any seats so she wouldn't have this issue.
I actually don't feel guilty in the slightest and why should I

OP posts:
MarieIVanArkleStinks · 18/04/2022 16:02

I've been asked this before when flying solo. In these circumstances, as long as the exchange is for another aisle seat, I have no objection to exchanging to enable fellow-travellers to sit together.

In the circumstances you outline, booking fee or no booking fee, the answer would be 'no, we prefer to keep our checked-in seats'. No apology or explanation. This dilemma is for cabin crew to address in any case, not the responsibility of fellow passengers.

And yes, I'll willingly own my choices. I'm not going to feel awkward because a stranger had the cheek to make a demand of me that I've declined to fulfil. Judging and tutting would have precisely zero effect.

Tigofigo · 18/04/2022 16:02

We once booked a flight thinking they automatically seated DC with parents. Our children were 2 and 5 and they sat them on different rows to us! No one offered to move. It wasn't ideal but it was a short flight.

grapehyacinthisactuallyblue · 18/04/2022 16:02

You are not unreasonable not to move. She was not unreasonable to ask. But she was unreasonable not to just accept your answer, and made you fell bad.

Tagliatellme · 18/04/2022 16:02

I think it's unreasonable to ask: what's reasonable about 'I want you to give me what you've paid for, and I won't be paying you for it'?

ilovesooty · 18/04/2022 16:02

@Genevie82

..I’m going against the grain here but think the decent thing to do would have been to swap the seat with her child.. you sound petty tbh.. I expect what happened here is that she had been unable to book seats next to each other as they were all booked out already - it’s happened very recently on a flight I did so you have to sit like this with your child and rely on the kindness of strangers - or not in your case! I could not have sat through that flight knowing the child infront of me might be feeling nervous not being with their mum, regardless of what I though of them and then post on MN to try and make myself feel justified!
No one knows why she hadn't booked seats with her child. You might think that the OP sounds petty but most people don't throw away money on reserved seats they've paid for for their own reasons. The woman's reaction to the refusal was unpleasant too.
Original poster
wearejustfriends · 18/04/2022 16:03

Also I told her I had paid for seats.
Her response was "what difference does it make"

OP posts:
Simonjt · 18/04/2022 16:03

[quote Mrsherdwick]@Simonjt - we need the full story!! Please.[/quote]
Very boring (sorry!), it was economy plus so two seats together rather than three, so we had four booked on the same side of the plane, including one booked and paid for for our baby. She thought our baby didn’t need a seat so she should be allowed to sit there instead. Premium was about £90 more (short flight) and there were some empty premium seats, so I’m sure she could have paid for one if she wished.

newname12345 · 18/04/2022 16:03

@KosherDill Not likely at all as its not allowed. No passengers under the age of 15 are allowed to sit in the emergency row.

NewBlueGoo · 18/04/2022 16:03

You weren’t wrong to say no, but if that had been me I’d have let them have the seats.

Opaljewel · 18/04/2022 16:03

She isn't petty at all. She paid extra for the seats. If the woman wanted to sit with her child then she should have paid.

Honestly the entitlement of some people.

NobleYeats1 · 18/04/2022 16:03

Ah I see the ‘be kind’ brigade are joining the thread! Never has a phrase set women back so much. Who cares if op is a nervous flyer and paid extra to sit near her partner to help her. Her feelings and situation and money are irrelevant. She should ‘be kind’ and do as she is told. @Genevie82 @Hawkins001 Biscuit

grapehyacinthisactuallyblue · 18/04/2022 16:04

@Tagliatellme

I think it's unreasonable to ask: what's reasonable about 'I want you to give me what you've paid for, and I won't be paying you for it'?
But she may not know if someone had paid for it. So I don't think it's unreasonable to ask. But if found out someone had paid, keep going on like she did is definitely unreasonable.
CorsicaDreaming · 18/04/2022 16:04

@Antarcticant

I can understand 'de-bundling' when it comes to not paying for food etc, that you don't want, but choosing your own seats doesn't have an inherent cost to the airline so I agree with pp that the airline is at fault for using this as an excuse to winkle more money out of passengers.

Yes I agree @Antarcticant - totally reasonable to charge extra for hold luggage and to limit hand luggage, due to the weight - but the additional cost to allocate a seat is just blatantly there to get more money out of people.

MrsAmber · 18/04/2022 16:05

YANBU we’ve had this on the last two flights we went on. In one case DH moved as a Dad asked if he could sit by his DD, thoroughly expecting a child but would guess she was 17/18! DH then ended up with complete behind him, playing a game similar to Bejewelled Blitz so DH’s headrest was being put to the test!

We were then asked if one of us could move so that a young male could sit next to his girlfriend who was afraid of flying. They were told no and ended up sitting together anyway, spare seats I believe!

If you don’t secure your seat by paying extra then you shouldn’t be the CF who expects others to accommodate you!

Oatsandstuff · 18/04/2022 16:05

It ALL depends on the age of the minor!

3 yes I’d not move
12 no

Blossomtoes · 18/04/2022 16:06

@wearejustfriends

Also I told her I had paid for seats. Her response was "what difference does it make"
In which case I’ve changed sides!
covilha · 18/04/2022 16:06

I have a child who potentially can struggle with travel. Flights have never been a problem because, as previous posters point out, details and contingencies are planned to the last degree. We pay extra for the seats we need, initially purchased an extra seat to ensure we would keep disruption of the other passengers journey to a minimum and communicate with the airline at the time of ticket booking and again in the week before departure. If the lady in question was not concerned enough to spend extra for her child’s seat, why should the burden of care fall on you? She is a chancer and you did the right thing OP. Please don’t say she may not have been able to afford to pay to pay extra to reserve a seat as a holiday abroad is not a necessity

Original poster
wearejustfriends · 18/04/2022 16:06

Her child was over 10 but couldn't say for sure how old she was

OP posts:
CorsicaDreaming · 18/04/2022 16:07

And I'm sure the flight attendants must hate it as it causes aggro on lots of flights. And delays take offs. Whereas if everyone had just booked and sorted it at time of booking the initial flights it would all be much smoother.

Clymene · 18/04/2022 16:08

It is perfectly clear in all tui's literature that you have to pay to choose seats. There is no way you can't know. I don't mind paying to get the seats I want rather than the ones the system randomly allocates. I buy them as soon as I can so I can get them.

If you don't care where you sit, don't pay.

CorsicaDreaming · 18/04/2022 16:09

@Genevie82

..I’m going against the grain here but think the decent thing to do would have been to swap the seat with her child.. you sound petty tbh.. I expect what happened here is that she had been unable to book seats next to each other as they were all booked out already - it’s happened very recently on a flight I did so you have to sit like this with your child and rely on the kindness of strangers - or not in your case! I could not have sat through that flight knowing the child infront of me might be feeling nervous not being with their mum, regardless of what I though of them and then post on MN to try and make myself feel justified!
@Genevie82 - if that had been the case, I'm sure the Mum would have said that when she asked to swap, though? No mention in OP post
Oatsandstuff · 18/04/2022 16:09

Out of interest
What is the potential struggle to warrant an extra unused seat and to give a heads up to the airline - twice?

dropoutdoreen · 18/04/2022 16:10

I always used to refuse to pay for my seat but nowadays i have a child and have accepted how the system works and factor that into the cost. Ill never take a chance again

She could have asked anyone in the flight to swap. It didn't have to be you so don't feel guilty

narkyspirit · 18/04/2022 16:10

prior to Covid I was flying very frequently, mostly budget airlines for cost . I had a number of occasions where I had booked on the first row of seats with easyJet and people asked if I would swap seats. I politely said no every time and was only asked once by `a stewardess to move? yes sure if the other passenger would like to repay me for the seat yes otherwise no. I organised myself with priority boarding, and seat selection for a reason.

you where not unreasonable at all