To think people don't actually do it safely

[MolliciousIntent]

Everyone bangs on about safe co-sleeping, but do people who co-sleep actually always do it safely? I know several families who sleep with their infants, they all tell you they stick to the Lullaby Trust guidelines, but I've on multiple occasions had evenings with them smoking and drinking and then getting into bed with their babies. Obviously this isn't an indication of everyone, but do people who co-sleep really follow every single one of the guidelines every single night?

@sandgrown

My children are in their 40s now and only came in our bed if they would not settle . For the first few months they slept in a Moses basket or cot in our room . Why are parents reluctant to do this now ?

I think it might be instinct. I felt strongly about wanting to be close to my baby at night but other mums I know did not feel any desire to do this. All our kids are now teenagers and have not suffered from either way of doing things and you certainly couldn't tell which children were parented in an attachment style and those who were not.

I've never heard of the lullaby trust guidelines but I safely slept with all mine

@FabFitFifties

Why is it of particular interest to you now OP?

Two reasons - I have a tiny baby and thought about trying it to maximise sleep but found the guidelines v hard to manage (reasons upthread) and I recently went to dinner at a colleague's, where some of the other guests were talking about how they coslept, but were smoking and drinking. So those two things together made me wonder whether people actually stick to the guidelines! But evidently they do, and those people are just bad parents and I'm too fussy a sleeper!

Well, to be honest, the few nighta baby is in bed with me (when he is sick or he is teething), my husband sleeps elsewhere, and if he does smoke, he has to shower and change clothes before sleeping in the same room as baby and I. I prefer not to bed-share, but sometimes it's just easier than being up all night! You just have to be common sense about it