Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbours treat their garden like a living room

429 replies

Norgernert · 17/04/2022 17:57

I realise this could be entitlement / snobbery / nimbyism, hence looking for a genuine perspective on whether IABU.

We live in a quiet, semi-rural steading conversion, so a smallish cluster of houses in converted farm buildings. We’ve lived here for 20+ years, and it has always been blissfully quiet.

2 years ago the last working farm building was sold off to someone who converted it, and now they live there - young family in their late 20s with toddlers (we are in our 40s with teenagers).

The problem is, they are so very loud Sad

Their conversion forms a courtyard, and they just treat the courtyard as another room of the house. They usually have double doors open, TV or music on, shouting from one side to the other.

It carries right through the area. There is no getting away from it, even going for a walk in the previously quiet fields.

We have had some respite in the winter when it was cold, but they are back to normal today and I just know it will be like this until autumn.

Do we just need to suck it up and accept that we have been lucky until now?

OP posts:
Mrsmch123 · 17/04/2022 21:34

@Norgernert I don't play it loud there really is no need. There is nothing worse than trying to shout over music to talk to one another.
I get on well with the neighbours so can't annoy them that much....
@QuebecBagnet well live in the country side away from people🤷🏻‍♀️

HemanOrSheRa · 17/04/2022 21:35

With all those inflatables, I'd definitely be considering an air rifle - shame I'm not a good shot, but it's ok I only practice when no-one is around.... Grin. PrincessPaws I did think about hiking over the fence and unplugging it but DP pointed out it probably wouldn't stop the thrum of the generator. We really didn't care about the noise of the kids playing on the thing. They were loud but enjoying themselves (mostly). It was the cheek of setting it all up at 9am then fucking off out until 4pm, leaving us poor sods to listen to it!

h0tXberns · 17/04/2022 21:47

Wow, so looking at the diagram, they are actually next door but one, with the Airbnb separating you. I think their 3 sided shape is acting like an amplifier and making their inconsiderate noisiness sound even worse. Horrendous.
Maybe like PPs have said they aren't aware quite how audible they are to the whole stead?

I plucked up courage today to speak to my next door neighbour about her loud music. I was planning to ask if she would please close the windows while playing loud music in her kitchen, because it is loudly audible in our back yard and kitchen. After I said hello she changed the subject to offering me a dehumidifier and talking about her aggressive dog so I didn't even manage to mention the bloody music.

DistaffSide · 17/04/2022 21:49

Drop some laxatives through the letterbox with a note to be helpful or whatever else he needs.

LoisLane66 · 17/04/2022 21:51

It depends what country you're in. It doesn't sound as if youre in the UK so any advice might not suit the rules on neighbourly interaction in your area.

SwishSwishBisch · 17/04/2022 21:53

From your diagram I do think this might be a permanent issue due to the design of their home OP.

I live in at the top of a very tall old tenement, there is a row of townhouses with gardens next to my building but separated by two large and very leafy trees, and a row of flats behind the gardens. Despite the gardens being hundreds of feet away, when neighbours have parties in the summer the sound bounces off all the buildings and straight into my bedroom as loud as if I was at the party myself! It’s so annoying but literally nothing can be done about it

QuebecBagnet · 17/04/2022 21:54

[quote Mrsmch123]@Norgernert I don't play it loud there really is no need. There is nothing worse than trying to shout over music to talk to one another.
I get on well with the neighbours so can't annoy them that much....
@QuebecBagnet well live in the country side away from people🤷🏻‍♀️[/quote]
Oh yes because it’s just that easy to afford to buy a house in the countryside with no immediate neighbours. 🤷‍♀️ Believe me if I could afford to not live next to total twats I would!

Alternatively people could be more considerate of their neighbours. It’s not hard. The other neighbours manage it.

Booboobibles · 17/04/2022 21:57

You could just try saying something. In one of the houses I lived in I wasn’t aware of how much my dog was annoying my neighbours….I was mortified when someone complained and called him in at the slightest hint of a bark after that!

goingtotown · 17/04/2022 22:02

Neighbours with no respect are a nightmare we had the same situation for five years I feel your pain.
Speak to them & expect abuse.
Accept that they won't change & put up with them.
Move.

SucculentChalice · 17/04/2022 22:03

I think they probably moved to the countryside to enjoy a more outdoors lifestyle. Have you asked them to turn down their tv though, because its artificial noise?

I think this is the risk you run where steadings all joined closely together have been converted into actual houses. They are basically terraced houses so you are all living together in extremely close proximity.

user1471538283 · 17/04/2022 22:04

This makes me anxious just reading it. I would have to move. I'm surrounded by more people now as I'm in an apartment building and its quieter than when I had two very noisy, inconsiderate neighbors.

I understand people like to enjoy the weather but their preference for noise does not trump your need for quiet.

From my experience noisy neighbors hate others noise so you could retaliate?

DrEllie · 17/04/2022 22:08

Mine put their music on really loud in the house so they can hear it in their garden. Which of course means we all have to hear it 🎧

Lalliella · 17/04/2022 22:14

YANBU I hate people who inflict their music and general noise on others, it’s so selfish. It’s my idea of hell.

Sisteragatha · 17/04/2022 22:15

We use ours like a living room. No music though but we eat all our meals out there in the summer, play all day, have friends over in the evening to sit in the pergola.

Our neighbours do the same, we wave to them, the kids chat over the fence, not even the same language but they try. It’s cute.

I put YABU but I agree that the music would piss me off, as that’s beyond regular enjoyment and more of a party.

ImAvingOops · 17/04/2022 22:17

When their kids are asleep start pulsating loud music or watching a loud film with your doors open. Or mow the lawn while they sleep. Give them a taste of what noise is like

Highho · 17/04/2022 22:19

I completely sympathise with you. We live next door to the loudest family I've ever known. We feel like we can't enjoy our garden because all we can hear is their kids screaming or music blasting. They have zero awareness of the impact which they have on all neighbouring properties. They have one holiday a year and its absolute bliss when they're gone. Can't wait for their next one Grin

Mabelshouse · 17/04/2022 22:20

No reason why people just can’t be considerate.

Summerfun54321 · 17/04/2022 22:20

If you want silence, live rurally.

TurquoiseSwirl · 17/04/2022 22:24

Knock on the door every time and say do they realise how far the Noise carries

IggysPop · 17/04/2022 22:25

You have my sympathies OP.

My OH told me to turn the radio down a couple of years ago. I had it up loud so I could hear it above cooking (I am deaf) - back doors into the garden were open. It was honestly much louder at the end of the garden than in our kitchen and I had no idea - weird acoustics.

OP - have your neighbours heard their tv from your house? Is there a chance they just think you’re being OTT because you’re not immediately next door?

Noise is a stressor for many people and neighbour noise (especially in the summer) can be tortuous. I am just mindful that what I can hear in my garden will be heard by my neighbours. I need stuff a bit louder such as the radio so I wear headphones. I always intervened when the kids playing turned into the kids screeching.

I just don’t think it’s difficult or problematic to be considerate of those around you.

LightSpeeds · 17/04/2022 22:26

Like other PPs have said, your neighbours are inconsiderate and selfish. There are loads of people like this around, ruining things for everyone else.

A couple of years ago, my neighbours lit a bonfire every evening on the hottest days of the year, so we were forced to close all our windows when it was 30+ degrees inside.

It just makes me wonder if there are any thoughts or awareness of other people in some people's minds...

Northernsoullover · 17/04/2022 22:31

@Summerfun54321

If you want silence, live rurally.
Yes, of course, let's just pick up a country pile. The OP doesn't want silence. Just people not to be dicks.
Artich0ke · 17/04/2022 22:34

I have this problem with neighbours who back onto our property. They have a huge kitchen extension and every day in summer they have doors wide open and music blaring whilst they kick footballs at our fence. I think the kitchen extension amplifies the sound, so they don’t realise just how loud it is. Alternatively they are just inconsiderate and don’t care.

LetHimHaveIt · 17/04/2022 22:37

Well, as per, The Wise Women of Mumsnet tell you that people can do as they please in their own garden. Happily, we have in this country the tort of nuisance, which says otherwise.

I'd give the Council a go, for sure.

Wolfie12 · 17/04/2022 22:37

YANBU
We have one set of neighbours who we believe are alcoholics and are constantly having loud parties/BBQs. Complete pissheads who then start fighting at 2am onwards. The amount of times we’ve been woken in the middle of the night or early hours by them fighting and swearing in the middle of the night. Selfish arseholes. Those posting YABU are likely to be loud neighbours themselves.

Swipe left for the next trending thread