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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbours treat their garden like a living room

429 replies

Norgernert · 17/04/2022 17:57

I realise this could be entitlement / snobbery / nimbyism, hence looking for a genuine perspective on whether IABU.

We live in a quiet, semi-rural steading conversion, so a smallish cluster of houses in converted farm buildings. We’ve lived here for 20+ years, and it has always been blissfully quiet.

2 years ago the last working farm building was sold off to someone who converted it, and now they live there - young family in their late 20s with toddlers (we are in our 40s with teenagers).

The problem is, they are so very loud Sad

Their conversion forms a courtyard, and they just treat the courtyard as another room of the house. They usually have double doors open, TV or music on, shouting from one side to the other.

It carries right through the area. There is no getting away from it, even going for a walk in the previously quiet fields.

We have had some respite in the winter when it was cold, but they are back to normal today and I just know it will be like this until autumn.

Do we just need to suck it up and accept that we have been lucky until now?

OP posts:
Benjispruce4 · 17/04/2022 20:39
  • train the other day
  • in between there were
nosyupnorth · 17/04/2022 20:41

If their tv really is that loud you can hear it clearly in your house then there's nothing wrong with having a word about that, same as in a terrace, but they are not being unreasonable in using their outdoor space in ways that you can hear while also outdoors.

QuebecBagnet · 17/04/2022 20:43

@Mrsmch123

Wonder if my neighbours hate me..... I always have my double doors open and play music. We have family over on nice days chatting and enjoying the sun.
I would hate you if I could hear your music. I’d like to sit outside reading a book in peace and quiet. I did actually spend over £100 on noise cancelling headphones because of the twat neighbours but they make my ears hurt after about 30 mins.
itsnotmeitsu · 17/04/2022 20:43

Over the Easter weekend, and with the great weather, we've had parties happening next door. The property used to be a bungalow with a garden. Now it's an space which has seven apartments and two bungalows built on it. Our dog is an elderly rescue, spent most of his life in kennels, and terrified of humans. We can't get him out of the house today because of the noise coming from the new apartments [presumably] getting together, enjoying the weather, having a party and playing music outside.

It's not their problem that our dog is terrified. What is our problem is that where there used to be a bungalow and a garden is now able to be changed to buy-to-lets with several properties built on the same space. We live in a very populated area, so now what's happening is that single properties are bought up, knocked down, and multiple apartments thrown up on the space. Also, property is very expensive here (we're in the north, but an expensive region), so developers can make an absolute killing.

Iflyaway · 17/04/2022 20:43

If you didn’t want to hear neighbours, you should have gone for fully rural.

Oh right. So now it's OP fault that her neighbours are inconsiderate and think they are alone in the world....

Maybe OP is perfectly close to work, why should she move?!

FFS.

With attitudes like that, nothing will ever change.

SwedishEdith · 17/04/2022 20:44

I am a shouter and swearer so we regularly apologise to each other about the music, noise etc we all make.

Why not just stop doing it in the first place?

OP - get a cockerel

MadAntonia · 17/04/2022 20:44

People should be considerate of each other, especially when they live at close quarters.

You are not being unreasonable.

Maybe just have a word with them. They might not realise they are being disruptive.

Dentistlakes · 17/04/2022 20:48

YANBU. There’s a difference between using your property and subjecting your neighbours to constant noise. If you want to listen to music in your garden then wear headphones. It’s unacceptable to be so loud that surrounding houses have to hear your every move/conversation. We have friends who live like this. Their music is ridiculously loud and their kids are constantly screaming. I feel very sorry for their neighbours.

Superbabe64 · 17/04/2022 20:48

@godmum56

Inkeeping with mumsnet spirit, I was being intentionally reactionary Wink

Cookiecrumble22 · 17/04/2022 20:50

@Norgernert

I realise this could be entitlement / snobbery / nimbyism, hence looking for a genuine perspective on whether IABU.

We live in a quiet, semi-rural steading conversion, so a smallish cluster of houses in converted farm buildings. We’ve lived here for 20+ years, and it has always been blissfully quiet.

2 years ago the last working farm building was sold off to someone who converted it, and now they live there - young family in their late 20s with toddlers (we are in our 40s with teenagers).

The problem is, they are so very loud Sad

Their conversion forms a courtyard, and they just treat the courtyard as another room of the house. They usually have double doors open, TV or music on, shouting from one side to the other.

It carries right through the area. There is no getting away from it, even going for a walk in the previously quiet fields.

We have had some respite in the winter when it was cold, but they are back to normal today and I just know it will be like this until autumn.

Do we just need to suck it up and accept that we have been lucky until now?

So is it a summer thing? Rather than all year?
ArcheryAnnie · 17/04/2022 20:52

OP - get a cockerel

Best advice yet.

Talk to the other neighbours first to prewarn them.

DefiniteTortoise · 17/04/2022 20:52

Pop a postcard through their door each day, offering your polite thoughts on whatever private conversation they were having loudly within earshot of the whole community. This may focus their minds....

Dreamstate · 17/04/2022 20:52

My neighbours are the same. They don't talk, they shout all day long at each other, their toddler. They are just that loud!

But today I thought fuck it its hot i was listening to music via my TV I opened my patio door for some cool air. I went into he garden u could hear the music but faintly. So it wasn't too loud and what can you do cant sit with windows and doors shut forever ...

Anyway they promptly shut their kitchen door, clearly not happy when I'm living my life a d still bring considerate. They think only their noise is allowed.

So Screw them. Hate people like this that think they can live as they please asking as much noise as they like.

Original poster
Norgernert · 17/04/2022 20:52

2nd attempt at diagram

Neighbours treat their garden like a living room
OP posts:
sjxoxo · 17/04/2022 20:52

It sounds awful and I think it’s a bit inconsiderate of them but maybe they don’t realise how loud they are.. have any of your other neighbours got the same complaint? If not and I couldn’t stand it I would probably consider moving… x

TheAntiGardener · 17/04/2022 20:57

@Iflyaway - I agree with you 100%, but I see this all the time!on here. “Just move to the middle of nowhere (if you can’t handle as much noise as the worst neighbour can throw at you).” Like it’s the poster’s problem.

Ridiculous. We can’t all decide where to live on the assumption that our neighbours are going to be selfish nightmares. We have to hope for the best - and thankfully most people are ok.

Seymour5 · 17/04/2022 20:58

Some people are extremely selfish, some lack any awareness. We have relatively small back gardens, much younger next door neighbours, who sometimes have friends in the garden. No music, plenty of chat and laughing. Occasionally a baby crying. All fine. Family behind us were out today, eating lunch with friends, and we could hear them, adults and children.

It was perfectly ok, no screeching, yelling, or loud music. When nextdoor’s friends were there, we didn’t get the mower out as planned, but waited til no-one would be disturbed. It’s how we behave, and I’m so relieved our immediate neighbours are similar. I’ve experienced the loud, unasked for moronic thumping so called music, anyone having to live with it has my sympathy.

HemanOrSheRa · 17/04/2022 21:01

I often wonder on threads like these, whether our old neighbours are the nuisance culprits Confused. They would:

Let the children out very early in the morning (7am on sunny days) and let them loose with recorders and other musical instruments.

Set up a huge water slide inflatable with generator and fuck off out for hours leaving it on.

Have loud music playing, set up in their illegal lean-to, often set up with the inflatable and left on. So everything was set up when they got home!

Take very loud important phone calls in the garden. We could ALL hear them.

Have rows out in the garden. Because they didn't like to row in front of the children Confused. Never mind the entire street could hear.

Have huge bonfires of all sorts of waste (definitely not just garden) that needed the assistance of the fire service to get under control.

Huge firework displays throughout the year with no warning.

This was just day to day and weekend behaviour. Doesn't include parking issues they caused and trespassing when they felt like it! We all did a happy dance as the removal van drove off when they finally moved.

Horst · 17/04/2022 21:01

Is it just you and bbq neighbour with problem and presumably air bnb? I think it might be to do with the shape and it echoing it around rather than them being loud.

PrincessPaws · 17/04/2022 21:06

@HemanOrSheRa

I often wonder on threads like these, whether our old neighbours are the nuisance culprits Confused. They would:

Let the children out very early in the morning (7am on sunny days) and let them loose with recorders and other musical instruments.

Set up a huge water slide inflatable with generator and fuck off out for hours leaving it on.

Have loud music playing, set up in their illegal lean-to, often set up with the inflatable and left on. So everything was set up when they got home!

Take very loud important phone calls in the garden. We could ALL hear them.

Have rows out in the garden. Because they didn't like to row in front of the children Confused. Never mind the entire street could hear.

Have huge bonfires of all sorts of waste (definitely not just garden) that needed the assistance of the fire service to get under control.

Huge firework displays throughout the year with no warning.

This was just day to day and weekend behaviour. Doesn't include parking issues they caused and trespassing when they felt like it! We all did a happy dance as the removal van drove off when they finally moved.

With all those inflatables, I'd definitely be considering an air rifle - shame I'm not a good shot, but it's ok I only practice when no-one is around....
QuebecBagnet · 17/04/2022 21:07

Oddly enough I used to have a cockerel (we’re rural) and they were round complaining saying it was waking them at 3am. Which is odd as I never heard it and it was closer to me. I said sorry it was disturbing them and cut it’s head off that same day. And they carry on with their fucking music and bellowing. Maybe I’ll get another and tell them to fuck off this time.

QuebecBagnet · 17/04/2022 21:09

@DefiniteTortoise

Pop a postcard through their door each day, offering your polite thoughts on whatever private conversation they were having loudly within earshot of the whole community. This may focus their minds....
Ha ha, yes.

I told the entire village about my neighbours “downstairs problems” which I heard all about in great detail as he stands in the garden bellowing down the phone.

RantyAunty · 17/04/2022 21:14

It sounds annoying and they aren't exactly that close to you either.

I never understood how some people seem to talk so loud to the point of shouting as their normal voice.

MarvelMrs · 17/04/2022 21:16

I completely understand. My neighbours are similar and have recently strung up a hammock in their garden so close to the fence it is just under my bedroom window. Their garden is an extension of their living area and they like to take phone calls on speaker phone particularly in their garden. I don’t know if they don’t know or don’t care that we have to listen to every conversation they have above our tv. And if I don’t have the tv or radio on in our house it feels like they are in our house with us which feels weird. So frustrating and they aren’t actually terrible people - just oblivious and a bit self centred.

MrOllivander · 17/04/2022 21:29

I don't think some people have heard how loud others can be

My neighbours (diagonally across from me) have their balcony doors open March - sept from morning to early hours
If I'm in my bedroom, windows closed (double glazing) I can hear every word of their shouting conversation, singing, music etc
My dad came over the other day and didn't have his hearing aids in and he said "WTF is that noise" and they were just "talking" with the doors open

Every so often my neighbour gets pissed off by 1am and screams STFU out the window at them