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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Neighbours treat their garden like a living room

429 replies

Norgernert · 17/04/2022 17:57

I realise this could be entitlement / snobbery / nimbyism, hence looking for a genuine perspective on whether IABU.

We live in a quiet, semi-rural steading conversion, so a smallish cluster of houses in converted farm buildings. We’ve lived here for 20+ years, and it has always been blissfully quiet.

2 years ago the last working farm building was sold off to someone who converted it, and now they live there - young family in their late 20s with toddlers (we are in our 40s with teenagers).

The problem is, they are so very loud

Their conversion forms a courtyard, and they just treat the courtyard as another room of the house. They usually have double doors open, TV or music on, shouting from one side to the other.

It carries right through the area. There is no getting away from it, even going for a walk in the previously quiet fields.

We have had some respite in the winter when it was cold, but they are back to normal today and I just know it will be like this until autumn.

Do we just need to suck it up and accept that we have been lucky until now?

OP posts:

ListeningButNotHearing · 17/04/2022 22:38

YADNBU
I really feel sorry for anyone who has ignorant and self-centred neighbours like this.

TigerLilyTail · 17/04/2022 22:39

I haven't read all the replies but can you get a decibel reader off Amazon or something and start keeping a record?

Nsky · 17/04/2022 22:39

I had a noisy couple next door (l’m mid terrace) running up and downstairs and banging front door, and other noise, 1 bed too
Reminded them I could wake them when I left for work at 4.20am, luckily they moved

RachelGreeneGreep · 17/04/2022 22:40

@Highho

I completely sympathise with you. We live next door to the loudest family I've ever known. We feel like we can't enjoy our garden because all we can hear is their kids screaming or music blasting. They have zero awareness of the impact which they have on all neighbouring properties. They have one holiday a year and its absolute bliss when they're gone. Can't wait for their next one

I sympathise also, OP. Am currently lucky enough to live somewhere quiet, well just normal noise level, but am slightly worried as neighbours are selling, and they are quiet. They have kids but as I said, just normal noise levels. I would try the council route. I think unfortunately some people are just inconsiderate and self centred. I lived next door to a door slammer years ago. She didn't just open doors either, it sounded like she ripped them open, then slammed them . She got married, had kids and then it became a door slamming competition between the lot of them. And it was ridiculous, literally doors being ripped open and slammed over and over. Starting early in the morning. I couldn't have a lie in at weekends, ever. I finally cracked one night and opened and slammed doors all around my house. Repeatedly. They got the message and improved greatly after that.

Feelingpoorly123 · 17/04/2022 22:40

There’s nothing wrong with playing music in your garden during the daytime imo

TigerLilyTail · 17/04/2022 22:40

@Summerfun54321

If you want silence, live rurally.

I thought the OP was living rurally!

Badger1970 · 17/04/2022 22:41

We do bloody live rurally, I think that's what makes the noise even more difficult to deal with. Cows, sheep, tractors, birds, pheasants calling ... don't bother me at all. Even vixens screaming at night and god that's an awful noise, took me years to get used to.

But people getting pissed in their garden and inflicting their drunken guffaws on other folk to the extent that they can't use their own garden and end up locked in their homes? I don't care if you're in the centre of a city or rural... it's still unacceptable.

xprincessxjanetx · 17/04/2022 22:42

YABU, although it would also irritate me so I don't blame you for being annoyed about it.

It's their property and they're not doing anything 'wrong' so nothing you can do about it unfortunately.

Feelingpoorly123 · 17/04/2022 22:49

Got to laugh at the folk saying that if you want silence you should live rurally.. can tell they ain’t rural. The countryside is a very noisy place.. livestock, tractors, farming, shooting, bird scarers, wild animals, 60 mph roads, etc

IggysPop · 17/04/2022 22:51

@Feelingpoorly123 - buy why is it okay to impose artificial noise (music) on a neighbour? And what if everybody started jacking up their music in the garden - it would be a bloody nightmare. Most people don’t do this, because most people are generally considerate.

Original poster

Norgernert · 17/04/2022 22:51

I think quiet BBQ neighbour might be on MN! Hello, if so

He is good friends with DH. They have been texting each other throughout the day to commiserate about the noise today, and he seems to have used one of the suggestions upthread. He’s popped a packet of anusol through the door anonymously

For those who were asking, yes we do frequently ask them to be quieter.

And yes, I do think it is a symptom of the layout of their home. They just open the bifold doors of both buildings and treat it as a single space. But that’s not what they have planning permission for - it’s supposed to be a house and a garage with parking in the courtyard between. In fact it is a condition of planning that they maintain the garage and parking “in perpetuity” (instead, they converted both).

OP posts:

YesitsBess · 17/04/2022 22:52

My children were raised on an island, and island we owned and were lucky enough to have no near neighbours to disturb when they were all being mad and noisy (plus friends).

We now do not live on an island and it didn't take them long to figure out how to behave around other people and be respectful? I'm quite cranky these days but my immediate thought on reading your OP and updates was FIREWORKS EVERY NIGHT.

I wouldn't do that because I don't like scaring pets and wildlife, but that would be my ultimate petty reaction.

simbobs · 17/04/2022 22:53

YANBU I can sympathise. Some elements of maintenance and daily life are acceptable. What they are doing is not. You need to keep a journal, monitor sound levels (with an actual device) and speak to the other neighbours. We had summer 2020 completely ruined by one set of neighbours making furniture in their back garden - which is on our boundary. Every time we wanted to sit outside, and this was in the time of restrictions, they would start drilling, hammering, planing, screeching metal on metal etc. It went on and on, stopping only at the point where we were going to get environmental health involved. Just make sure you keep records if going down this road.

tearinghairout · 17/04/2022 22:57

I feel for you too, OP. Some people are just ignorant, or so self-centred that they think they have the right to inflict their music on others. No concept of respecting other people's peace and quiet. We had it in two houses we lived in. The last one was a terrace and one side's racket used to really stress me out. We all three couples had young children, but only one couple would bellow down the garden and through the house at the dch, and have loud phone convos outside, about three feet from my kitchen door and under my bedroom window (note it wasn't the dch that were the problem, but the adults, who had no volume control). We moved. It's not perfect where we are now but it's a lot less stressful.

Imlovinglife · 17/04/2022 22:57

@Badger1970

Countryside isn't as quiet as city people assume.

It is a working place - doing work like growing food. Always the sound of a chainsaw round here - there is a lot of woodland. It carries for miles. It doesn't bother me - not like screaming/arguing kids.

I think I take the country sounds for granted sometimes. I filmed my beehive as family were curious. It was only when I played the video back on my phone that I realised how much birdsong there was. It was lovely - I will look to tune into it tomorrow and appreciate it.

bluebell34567 · 17/04/2022 22:57

@Norgernert

Happy to accept if I am being unreasonable, but to put it in perspective I am inside with the windows closed, my kids downstairs watching TV, and I can hear the neighbours and their TV louder than what’s inside my own house.

I guess I just would never have done this. It wouldn’t have occurred to me to impinge on other people’s privacy / calmness / mental space this much.

agree. they are inconsiderate.

Feelingpoorly123 · 17/04/2022 22:57

[quote IggysPop]@Feelingpoorly123 - buy why is it okay to impose artificial noise (music) on a neighbour? And what if everybody started jacking up their music in the garden - it would be a bloody nightmare. Most people don’t do this, because most people are generally considerate.[/quote]
Because it doesn’t harm them in anyway. Can you imagine if everybody started talking loudly to each other in their gardens? Your distinction between and description of artificial noise vs. non artificial is hilarious .

sweetbellyhigh · 17/04/2022 23:00

Can you have a polite conversation with them about it? One of my neighbours was doing a couple of dock things and I asked if they could turn down the volume a bit and they did. They may not realise that the sound is travelling so far.

CuddlyCactus · 17/04/2022 23:00

So @Norgernert their house is actually in 2 separate parts???
I've never seen that before but if that's the case no wonder they've got doors open all the time
What do they do in winter?

surreygirl1987 · 17/04/2022 23:04

I sympathise. I can't stand noisy neighbours. I think it is really selfish. However, they technically have every right to use their property in this way, and there isn't anything you can do about it.

LetHimHaveIt · 17/04/2022 23:04

'Because it doesn’t harm them in anyway. Can you imagine if everybody started talking loudly to each other in their gardens? Your distinction between and description of artificial noise vs. non artificial is hilarious'

So you think you can disturb someone's quiet enjoyment of their property just because your pisspoor music doesn't actually cause them physical injury?

Such a selfish and entitled - but sadly all-too-common - attitude.

People like you is why laws surrounding nuisance, exist.

LetHimHaveIt · 17/04/2022 23:05

'However, they technically have every right to use their property in this way, and there isn't anything you can do about it.'

Nope. Still no. How can so many people have no knowledge of nuisance law?

AlandAnna · 17/04/2022 23:06

Nightmare for you. Might have to move!. I would hate this. Sooo lucky that our neighbours are quiet most of the time. Realise that this could change though.
Someone in our village has just converted their backyard into an outdoor living room and I really feel for their next door neighbours 😬

Original poster

Norgernert · 17/04/2022 23:11

@CuddlyCactus

So *@Norgernert* their house is actually in 2 separate parts??? I've never seen that before but if that's the case no wonder they've got doors open all the time

What do they do in winter?

Yea, but wasn’t supposed to be. They applied for planning permission like that. Had planning refused. Resubmitted with the smaller building as a garage and workshop, which was approved subject to them maintaining the courtyard as parking. But then they went ahead and did their original 2 building design (i.e. converted their new garage into a family room with bifolds rather than garage door) once the building was signed off.

So if I wanted to be really nasty I could report them for that.

OP posts:

AlandAnna · 17/04/2022 23:11

(As in, complete with TV)

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