Neighbours treat their garden like a living room

[Norgernert]

I realise this could be entitlement / snobbery / nimbyism, hence looking for a genuine perspective on whether IABU.

We live in a quiet, semi-rural steading conversion, so a smallish cluster of houses in converted farm buildings. We’ve lived here for 20+ years, and it has always been blissfully quiet.

2 years ago the last working farm building was sold off to someone who converted it, and now they live there - young family in their late 20s with toddlers (we are in our 40s with teenagers).

The problem is, they are so very loud

Their conversion forms a courtyard, and they just treat the courtyard as another room of the house. They usually have double doors open, TV or music on, shouting from one side to the other.

It carries right through the area. There is no getting away from it, even going for a walk in the previously quiet fields.

We have had some respite in the winter when it was cold, but they are back to normal today and I just know it will be like this until autumn.

Do we just need to suck it up and accept that we have been lucky until now?

@SoothingAvy

You're not wrong to be annoyed by it, and they're not wrong to use their own garden as they want. You've got one option: move house in the winter. Thinking (even to yourself) that they are unreasonable ('using like a living room') is as unreasonable as you're getting.

But it's not their 'garden' they're using. It's the space between the two buildings, that's meant to used for parking vehicles: * And yes, I do think it is a symptom of the layout of their home. They just open the bifold doors of both buildings and treat it as a single space. But that’s not what they have planning permission for - it’s supposed to be a house and a garage with parking in the courtyard between. In fact it is a condition of planning that they maintain the garage and parking “in perpetuity” (instead, they converted both)*.

Perhaps the noise issue is why?

I feel your pain. In my last house the back gardens were very small and close together. Two elderly neighbours passed away and families moved in. Summer was hell - music and shouting and swearing. They unfortunately because friends and seemed to share a karaoke machine! Then there was the fire pit!

I moved - bow have a much larger garden - and the summer noise is children playing and the odd squeaky trampoline. Bliss

Tough! Better their children are outside in the fresh air. I am sure you and your children are not as quiet as you think. My dad's neighbours say all the time that they are so quiet and yet they are not... Whereas they complained that they could hear my Dad's radio when he is in his workshop!!Which is once a week! So you will just have to put up and shut up otherwise they might just get louder!

YANBO
Illegal Planning report it.
Keep a diary.
Complain to the council.
Discuss with your neighbours a joint legal approach.
Don’t let it continue do something about it.

Summer was hell - music and shouting and swearing. They unfortunately because friends and seemed to share a karaoke machine! Then there was the fire pit!

That sounds like an utter nightmare.

All my neighbours use their gardens a lot for socialising. I do too. But nobody is yelling, screaming, playing loud music or setting fires going. Yes - we all have BBQ's - but nobody is getting smoked out or having to take washing in.

OP YANBU!!

This sounds so bloody awful and all the posters saying YABU are probably guilty of doing the same.

IF YOU LIVE IN CLOSE PROXIMITY TO NEIGHBOURS YOU JUST HAVE TO BE RESPECTFUL. END OF.

We've lived for years in an apartment looking over a lovely square in the South East. My DH frequently puts very loud music on at weekends which I'm always turning down as it's just rude to neighbours. His 'reasoning' is that 'it's so cool they'll love it' etc. No it's not - it's practically vandalism.

Keep pushing back along with your other nice neighbours and I really hope you can find a resolution!

I am in a similar situation. Neighbours both sides spend summer in their gardens. Music not so much but loud chatting and kids playing. It can be annoying but I think live and let live.

We live right at the touristy Market Place, with regular Farmers markets, local band festivals etc. going on in front of our house. We are also surrounded by several churches with very enthusiastic troupes of bellringers, and chiming clocks every 15 min, and are backing onto a busy road. I can never hear anything inside, or never really notice. Do you have insulation and double glazing/secondary glazing? It could simply be too quiet where you live, so that every tiny noise jolts you. I experienced this at our cottage in the countryside, every car that went by (1 car maybe every 3 hours) sounded like an earthquake and the bubbling stream kept me up at night, as did even the sound of mild rain. If you lived somewhere where it's always rather loud, you'll end up not noticing anything.

YABU. We have one neighbour with three teenagers. Lots of sport outside, laughing and shouting. One day they had a party with music in the garden. We'll have our doors open on sunny days with the radio in the kitchen. We might bring the speaker outside once in a while if we have people over. Families make noise!

Don't know if it's already been spotted - but the Mirror has picked this up

Get the neighbours together and agree a joint plan of action

1. You all need to report the breach of planning permission individually. The more complaints the more likely the council are to investigate.

1. Write a joint letter to the neighbours. Point out, nicely, the different between quiet enjoyment of the garden (children laughing and playing, chatting etc) and overwhelming noise. Tell them that you can hear every detail - list some of the recent conversations they've had. Be proactive and tell them specifically what bothers you and what you suggest

ie - if you have the tv on, please shut the windows and doors

• please don't play loud music in the garden

etc

If this doesn't work, report to the council for noise pollution en masse and in the meantime:

1. fight fire with fire. They're shouting in the garden - whoever is out and can hear it start with the noisy leaf blower, moving your lawn, chainsaws etc. A full concert of garden equipment every time.

1. Every time they mention something such as the bad bowels, post something in response. The anusol was genius, build on that.

1. For those of you who have gardens bordering on theirs, get the red top fly catcher and hang them as close as possible to their borders. After a few weeks they reek.

www.amazon.co.uk/Genuine-Red-Top-Trap-Single/dp/B079GW4LCC/ref=asc_df_B079GW4LCC?hvlocphy&linkCode=df0&psc=1&hvnetw=o&hvlocint&hvdev=c&hvadid=80539283534574&hvqmt=e&hvbmt=be&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&hvtargid=pla-4584138860005344

Hopefully you won't need to get to this level of petty, but if you're all onboard as a group of neighbours, and you've asked nicely and been clear about what is upsetting you and they don't do anything, then there are lots of ways you can make things unpleasant.

And for those saying YABU, there's a world of difference between normal neighbour noise and ridiculous contempt for those living around you.

We have kids - they've grown up in the back garden. We are lucky enough to have fabulous neighbours, but we've always been aware of their noise and made sure it's not too intrusive. When anyone has parties, they let the neighbours know and when they can expect the noise to go on until.

In a previous house I lived in, the neighbours would scream at each other in the back garden whilst smoking copious joints, and with music blasting until the early hours of the morning. It's worlds apart.

@Norgernert

www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/mum-furious-ignorant-neighbours-ruin-26736502

Let your teens have a party. They'll be round like a shot to complain. Be a chance to discuss acceptable levels of noise going forward

[quote CrocodilesCry]@Norgernert

www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/mum-furious-ignorant-neighbours-ruin-26736502[/quote]
Well that’s the ultimate in lazy journalism isn’t it?

Thanks for the heads up (off to name change!)

Although I am amazed the anonymous Anusol delivery didn’t make it into the article!

The only way I’ve ever had success with people like this is to play my music louder than theirs and go out. Classical music or cheesy 80s usually works. People like that don’t give a shit unless it affects them. Give them a taste of what they are giving you, they won’t like it.

Maybe they’re not aware how irritating they’re being. Worth a friendly chat with them before you escalate into something more drastic.

I feel your pain. Our neighbours do the same thing and I don't think it's reasonable. Now and again, sure. But nobody else can enjoy their gardens or any peace or even their own music because every time the sun is out, they are out there before anyone else, radio blaring. Now and again is fine. Every day is awful.

That's just nasty.

Tbh if you can hear them living their lives when you are inside your home with the windows shut then you need to upgrade your insulation and double glazing......

I'd hate this so much, YANBU. I just don't understand the loudness, why the volume? I live in a 2 bed and we have one very loud family there, dominates the space! it would totally aggravate me

I have the same problem with my neighbours. They put a roof on a patio area and are out there drinking with music. They have since built a bar and put a log burner in there. All noise is subjective but can pose a problem if you like peace and quiet. However, according to noise pollutions, at your local council, you have a strong case if the noise is continuous and every day and night causing a nuisance, regardless of the time.

I don't think YABU OP.

From what you say this paved (?) courtyard, surrounded by High walls of buildings on 3 sides is bouncing the noise all round it. So they're being noisy anyway but the particular layout is magnifying that significantly, because as you say they're basically using the courtyard as a room. If their house was a more typical setup, rear garden which had fences or low walls on all sides I'm sure the noise would be a lot less intrusive.

You have my deepest sympathy, OP. I had a nightmare family move next door 5.5 years ago and despite double-glazed windows, curtains drawn, etc., I often could not hear my own TV (at full volume) over their noise.

The father is a giant obese oaf constantly calling his kids' names ("Griffiiiiinnnnn! Ainsleeeeee!") and they put a trampoline right at the boundary line and delight in bouncing and screaming literally for hours on end.

It's been horrible for my mental health. The youngest is now about 10 and obese himself, so trampoline time has diminished and this is my first summer in six years that has the potential to be pleasant in the garden.

I got some bluetooth speakers that look like rocks, and played waterfall/thunderstorm/ocean wave sounds off my phone over the speakers, which masked the noise a bit (not the trampoline screaming though) while working in the garden.

Not sure what to suggest to you; if there were a diazepam vending machine anywhere nearby I would have been gobbling them like candy. This previously was a peaceful neighborhood with quiet, respectful people before these lowlife moved in. With two barking dogs, too.

YABU. This would annoy me no end. YANBU to be annoyed by it, you can be annoyed by whatever you like but YABU to expect them not to do as they please in their own house. It would probably be enough to encourage me to start looking for another property (we have moved in the past due to neighbours, things we don't like and disturb us that they have every right to do).
But they can make use of their courtyard, front yard or any other part of their property as they see fit.