Neighbours treat their garden like a living room

[Norgernert]

I realise this could be entitlement / snobbery / nimbyism, hence looking for a genuine perspective on whether IABU.

We live in a quiet, semi-rural steading conversion, so a smallish cluster of houses in converted farm buildings. We’ve lived here for 20+ years, and it has always been blissfully quiet.

2 years ago the last working farm building was sold off to someone who converted it, and now they live there - young family in their late 20s with toddlers (we are in our 40s with teenagers).

The problem is, they are so very loud

Their conversion forms a courtyard, and they just treat the courtyard as another room of the house. They usually have double doors open, TV or music on, shouting from one side to the other.

It carries right through the area. There is no getting away from it, even going for a walk in the previously quiet fields.

We have had some respite in the winter when it was cold, but they are back to normal today and I just know it will be like this until autumn.

Do we just need to suck it up and accept that we have been lucky until now?

They sound as if they are ruining your life, frankly. My DH would have had the house on the market within 12 hours. Can you not build a middden to stink them indoors?

we use your garden like a living room - if they weather is dry we are in it, though we are fairly quite. But they arent doing anything wrong!

People 5 houses down have been in their garden all day, i can hear every word even with the door closed but they are just enjoying the garden. They arent rude, not swearing, no loud music, bbq is driving me mad as it smells so bloomin tasty!! but I cant expect the world to shut up for me to have a quite coffee on the patio. Though I wouldnt say no if they threw me a burger!

Maybe mention that could they just be a teeny bit aware of the volume for the other residents but some people just have loud voices and there isnt much you can do. Pretty lucky to have 20+ quiet years to be honest, but once you have enjoyed the quiet it is really hard to get on with noise.

OP, of course you don't have to suck it up! And like others have suggested, I'm wondering if those who are saying 'they're just enjoying their property' are also selfish feckers who don't give a toss about if their own behaviour has an impact on anyone else.

You live in a community - in this case, sounds like a little hamlet of households. That sort of isolated yet close living will be impossible if each household doesn't exercise some basic consideration for their neighbours. Nobody has the right to impose their own tv/music/arguments on their neighbours to the extent that you can hear them in your own house with windows closed. And I can't understand the mindset of those who think this is ok.

If the woman living there just laughs when her neighbours politely point out that the noise is stopping their OWN enjoyment of their OWN properties, she's either massively selfish or stupid. Either way, if you've tried getting together and presenting them with a unified front on unacceptable levels of noise, then you do need to get an external body involved. Could you look into legal redress? Maybe a legal letter would do the job, even if you have no intention of taking that further.

Failing that, I'd be thinking seriously of moving, and don't put your house on the market during the noisy season!

I'm sorry but I think YABU really, although I admit that I would feel the same as you if presented with the same problem.💐
Maybe you've just been lucky for the last 20 years.

My idea of hell, having a family with toddlers living next door. I rent and the house next door is a rental, the day it happens I'm off!!!

Please report them to the planning department. It’s not “nasty” to do so. Ignoring a planning permission in the way they have is the height of arrogance. Planning decisions prohibit certain things for a reason and unfortunately you are finding out just how unsuitable their rejected design was.

I can’t believe the number of posters who think the OP is BU. I’m glad I don’t live near any of them!

I’m in a similar position - mostly elderly people have lived near me for 30 years in a lovely and quite country setting - a new neighbour moved in with small children. They put their trampoline next to the fence by my back door and all I hear from dawn to dusk is these kicks screaming, shouting, kicking footballs against our mutual fence - it’s like living in a playground. I feel like my garden and one time haven have been taken from me and until these kids grow up every summer will be the same. And if it’s not the kids the parents have friends socialising outside too !

I don't think YABU. Obviously people can enjoy their garden - normal levels of conversation & children playing are background noise that you can adjust to, but I think it's out of order to have music/TV so loud that neighbours can hear it in their garden, unless it's an occasional party (in which case a decent neighbour would mention it in advance). We have newish neighbours & I'm starting to get quite depressed that my garden is no longer a place of peace & relaxation because of the neighbours' noise. It's selfish & inconsiderate.

I voted YABU but only because it could be so much worse. I'd love to only have to put up with TV noise.
My neighbours scream at each other (thankfully the fights with current boyfriend are fewer) smoke weed constantly, the smell of which drifts into our house, even at 7am when I need the window open because I'm having a shower. Throw rubbish in my garden, treat their own like a tip (again new boyfriend is improving this.)
Their kids are constantly screaming and fighting with each other, in the garden (I hate that flipping trampoline!) which results in the Mum screaming at them and calling them horrendous names. I'm happy to listen to the sounds of kids screaming when playing, but not when they're constantly fighting.
The eldest are teenagers, they sit on my doorstep to eat their tea (my actual doorstep... So they fall into the house when we open the door!) While chatting to their mates who also throw their rubbish into the garden and damage my car while leaning on it.
Yes I've tried speaking to them, mostly about the rubbish, sitting in my doorstep and my car, they just do it more.

On a practical note. It might be worth asking your neighbors round so they can hear for themselves how loud their TV is.

Another idea, you could just do what my intolerant parents done some years ago. First they moved out of london about 30 miles to a semi detached house. Then when those neighbours started to annoy them, they moved over 100 miles out of London but this time to a detached property so they didn’t have to put up with neighbours anymore!!!

Unfortunately there are a lot of selfish people these days who show no consideration for their neighbours but unless we can afford to move or morals change and humans stop being so selfish (unlikely as since the Tory Thatcher era we have bred the idea greed is good, there is no society only family and I, survival of the fittest, so long as I’m alright jack) then this is how it is now.

But there is a line between us being tolerant or us being taken for a mug or disregarded.
So if you think your neighbours really are selfish and inconsiderate then maybe have a nice word with them?
I hope it gets sorted!

I hate noises neighbours, I really can’t get into the mindset of people who think it’s acceptable to inflict their choice of music/ shouting etc on everyone else, every sunny day. Can you imagine if everyone did this?

Unfortunately you have no control over them behaving like inconsiderate twats.

I empathise. I’m surprised how many people don’t see this as a problem or just something you shouldn’t have a problem with; it strikes me that maybe they would act in a similar way

Time to move. Its a battle you can't win.

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable. It’s fair enough they use their court yard as additional social space, but we all have to be aware that we are outside and need to use our inside voices and also keep music at a reasonable level so as not to be a nuisance.
I’d ask them to be aware you can hear them and it’s a bit intrusive and Couid they possibly bare jr in mind that the sound really carries.

@BoredZelda

If you didn’t want to hear neighbours, you should have gone for fully rural.

The OP has lived there twenty years without it being a problem. The NEW people are causing the issue with her AND others.

Initial reaction yes, but if the neighbourhood is not like that then no

YANBU, I sympathise. The neighbours are entitled to use their garden of course, but where’s the consideration for other people?

It's quite possible they don't realise how far sound carries in the countryside (and how intrusive it is, against rural peace). If you are very quiet neighbours, they don't hear you, and just assume you don't hear them.

I think it would be worth letting them know, nicely, that you "overhear" a lot of their domestic life and would be very grateful if they could turn down the music, TV etc. They might take it on board and if they they don't, nothing lost.

I feel for you. I suffer from noisy neighbours too. Its hell with no escape.

They sound like inconsiderate twats. We're house hunting at present and would not consider a property like this because there's bound to be a household like this. Yes I'm generalising but have had many crap neighbors over the years

You're not wrong to be annoyed by it, and they're not wrong to use their own garden as they want. You've got one option: move house in the winter. Thinking (even to yourself) that they are unreasonable ('using like a living room') is as unreasonable as you're getting.

I believe that, legally, talking outside is considered normal domestic use, but playing amplified music or blaring the television is a statutory nuisance. Contact your council's environmental health team for information. I have a number of horribly antisocial neighbours who are very shouty late at night in their garden, and let their young kids shriek on the trampoline because they also are up late. However, when they blare their music all day and until the wee hours, I don't hesitate to contact the EH team and they send the residents a warning letter. It has helped stop the incidents, which were hellish for the majority in the neighborhood trying to sleep.

It sounds pretty unbelievable that their tv two houses away is louder than yours with the doors and window closed. I live in a terrace house and can only very rarely hear neighbours. You sound a bit snooty - they’re just living their lives, try and do the same

* I empathise. I’m surprised how many people don’t see this as a problem or just something you shouldn’t have a problem with; it strikes me that maybe they would act in a similar way*

^This. OPs neighbours sound like feral, backward idiots

I don't think you're being unreasonable, this would annoy me as well, especially if I'd moved to a smaller or more rural setting that I would assume is quieter.

We have lovely neighbours but in summer one side insist on playing rap music (and have a dog that barks constantly when they're out) and the other dance music. Both loud enough so that we can hear every word. It would be nice to hear bird song on a lovely summer's day and this often does ruin our garden for us, but ho hum. In return they get to hear my four year old son.

I can't offer any practical advice and they're not breaking any laws so it really is a case of different people think different ways of behaving are ok. I'm just sorry that it's spoilt your area for you.