Neighbours treat their garden like a living room

[Norgernert]

I realise this could be entitlement / snobbery / nimbyism, hence looking for a genuine perspective on whether IABU.

We live in a quiet, semi-rural steading conversion, so a smallish cluster of houses in converted farm buildings. We’ve lived here for 20+ years, and it has always been blissfully quiet.

2 years ago the last working farm building was sold off to someone who converted it, and now they live there - young family in their late 20s with toddlers (we are in our 40s with teenagers).

The problem is, they are so very loud

Their conversion forms a courtyard, and they just treat the courtyard as another room of the house. They usually have double doors open, TV or music on, shouting from one side to the other.

It carries right through the area. There is no getting away from it, even going for a walk in the previously quiet fields.

We have had some respite in the winter when it was cold, but they are back to normal today and I just know it will be like this until autumn.

Do we just need to suck it up and accept that we have been lucky until now?

People who think it’s ok, would you also think it was ok if it were any other noise, such as continual dog barking, hammering or engines revving? Why is it ok just because it’s loud music and loud talking? It’s all noise pollution. Would it be ok for me to sit in my garden blasting out Classic fm or CBeebies from midday until 3am? No. So why is it ok for my neighbours to blast out their music of choice, whilst singing, swearing and shouting, just because they own their garden?

YANBU...I know some will say its their house and they can do whatever they want, but what about consideration for your neighbours? I have a toddler and we currently live in a semi detached, my neighbour is older with a grown son and I'm always so conscious about DS making noise so as to not disturb them. My other neighbour on the other hand couldn't give a shit, plays loud music, screams, have friends around with kids, gatherings in their garden and even if every door/window is closed you can still hear them! During the summer its worse, you can't even crack a window open for some cool breeze without loud music blarring in your ears. I use to work from home due to covid and would have to go the toilet to take important calls. Its absolute torture; so OP I can resonate! Thank God we're moving!

Voted YANBU as I really feel for you, but it's hard to know what to do about it.... you could ask other neighbours if they feel the same way and then try a reasoned intervention....

Contact your local council because if you can hear their tv/music indoors with all the doors and windows shut, then I would think the noise is excessive. The council should send someone to assess the levels and then take the appropriate action. A word of warning though - if you go down this road, you will need to disclose official dispute action against a neighbour if you decide to sell, and it can be off putting.

YANBU, i was considering buying a barn conversion, thankyou for this ive changed my mind.
Think id have to say something, music so others can hear it in my opinion is very disrespectful .
Can you speak with them perhaps they dont realise how loud they actually are?

This feels is with dread even more as these ass holes are every where

I know how you feel, but then I remember my kids were those kids 15 years ago. I now have sympathy for what we put our neighbours through as it’s cyclical.

Yanbu, I remember we had some neighbours who's children would run around like, well, children. The awful noise was the mother screaming at them to be quiet?!

I blame all the "outdoor living" brigade 😄oh, and Margaret Thatcher. She was the first person to persuade people that all that mattered was their lives, and their entitlement. It was the beginning of the end of collective responsibility.

Anyway, as you were! Good luck with the council.

I can confirm a fair few people in my neighbourhood hate the one neighbour who always has double doors open playing music. She must know it's loud enough for everyone to hear, because we live in a very quiet neighbourhood. Every sunny day, nobody else can sit out in their gardens without her music being imposed upon them. I quite like her music but am seriously considering buying her a pair of headphones as I just don't want to hear her music every day...turn it down! (Although I personally prefer her over the neighbour who lights bonfires on the hottest days of the year, forcing the rest of us to close all doors and windows because of the stink.)

Interesting that so many people here are saying either 'it's their property, they can do as they like there' or 'it's inconsiderate but there's nothing to be done about it'.

To my mind, there's no doubt that you're entitled to tell them to turn the music down. Noisy children are a different matter, that's just life, but why should the inhabitants of one property in a neighbourhood get to subject everyone to their choice of music? Everyone else has rights too; that they own/inhabit their property is immaterial.

I guess it's a cultural difference - I'm from Germany, where municipalities often have detailed codes of noise regulation. If this happened there, I suspect the neighbours would already have got together to tell the noisy family to tone it down.

TBH you have been lucky up to now. Sadly the sort of home you describe sounds idyllic .That is until you get a loud family . They arent doing anything "wrong" but just living life their way.

You can divide the world into the selfish cunts who think they have a right to impose their music (and musical taste) on other people, and the nice people, who don't.

I was on a training course yesterday and they mentioned how people perceive noises differently based not on the volume but their own biases (not meant in a critical way). So even if they turned it down you might still be annoyed OP as you're sensitive to it now. Good luck getting the situation improved. I imagine this is part of the reason the council turned down the planning application because it was obvious this would happen. It's definitely worth speaking to them sooner rather than later before the time runs out for them to act on the planning breach.

Lived here 20 years so I suppose I’ve been lucky until 2 years ago when new people moved in.
First thing they did was install a jacuzzi, which they seem to live in, so there’s this constant whirring noise, loud music (which I don’t mind, as I like any music) but the thing that drives me crazy is the Mother’s fog-horn voice 😫 she doesn’t talk, she shouts every word.
It really is beyond belief, I have to leave the garden, as it makes my stomach knot.

OP said they have approached them, to no avail.

What is the reason to buy a property with outdoor space if you aren't going to use it? It is great to have a place to garden, eat outside, have BBQs, kids can play and get fresh air. We also spend a great deal of time outside. We don't blast music or the TV but we do use it as a part of our house and probably spend as much time outdoors as we do indoors during nice weather.

If it bothers you to hear people outside, then apartment living is a better options. If a nighbour told me they were upset we were outside on our own property, I would tell them to move if it bothered them.

You have my sympathy OP. I lived somewhere where this happened. Unfortunately some people are just noisy. We were lucky to be moving away at the time.

I don't think you're being unreasonable, OP and especially not in light of having spoken to this couple and explained how their noise is intrusive and affecting others living close by.

If they've not complied with the terms upon which their planning consent was granted, then they're clearly not the type of people who care very much about pissing off the neighbours to the extent where one of those neighbours might just slip a word to the Council about their lack of adherence to that planning consent. Or, maybe, they're just thoughtless enough not to have a clue that disregarding the terms of planning consent could result in them being instructed to bring their building works back in line with the consent as granted? Who knows? They sound like pricks with their loud music and shouting (children noise is something else, but I still think there are plenty of parents who couldn't give a toss about how much the noise their kids make bothers neighbours).

There are selfish bastards in all walks of life and now and again some of them definitely deserve a little poke in the ribs and a reminder that actions have consequences.

I think it's just called having neighbours.

I find this type of response so disingenuous.

Unless you live miles from your nearest neighbour, being in your own home doesn't mean you don't owe any courtesy to other people in the vicinity.

I live in an apartment where we have different sets of neighbours on each side of us and on the floor below. Our spare room shares a wall with our neighbours' living room and we can hear their TV in the evenings. There's also a woman somewhere - can't work out exactly where - who sometimes talks very loudly on the phone at 7am and we can hear her through the wall or the floor. We have a baby who wakes up crying once during the night, and who shouts "BABABABABABA" very loudly outside our neighbours' door when we are waiting for the lift.

It's all part and parcel of having neighbours. You can't expect people to live in silence.

But the behaviour the OP is describing is just antisocial.

unless they're out late at night I don't think there is anything you can do unfortunately even though i can imagine how annoying it must be

Blast out Bach at them on an amplifier as soon as you hear their music. Do it every single time. that might stop them if you make the music louder than theirs. See how they like it.

It's entirely possible to use your garden without unduly disturbing the neighbours. No music, TV or cinema outside, and you don't need to shout.

Kids can be noisy but not all day, and you can minimise the impact to some extent. My son used to kick a ball against the fence playing football (he did have goals but used to miss ;) ) but we didn't let him go out until 10am at the weekends. And he had a sensible bedtime unlike the screamy girls who live near me and seem to be out until 10pm at times.

Also mowing the lawn continuously is annoying. It's much better to let the grass grow for a few weeks, the bees like it, and then you can mow.

YANBU. People should not regularly be playing loud music or tv that can be heard by neighbours. Its just inconsiderate and anti-social.

I think this is one of those poor consideration of neighbours but technically well within their rights scenarios.

Do you know them well enough to know if a quick chat might help?