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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbours treat their garden like a living room

429 replies

Norgernert · 17/04/2022 17:57

I realise this could be entitlement / snobbery / nimbyism, hence looking for a genuine perspective on whether IABU.

We live in a quiet, semi-rural steading conversion, so a smallish cluster of houses in converted farm buildings. We’ve lived here for 20+ years, and it has always been blissfully quiet.

2 years ago the last working farm building was sold off to someone who converted it, and now they live there - young family in their late 20s with toddlers (we are in our 40s with teenagers).

The problem is, they are so very loud Sad

Their conversion forms a courtyard, and they just treat the courtyard as another room of the house. They usually have double doors open, TV or music on, shouting from one side to the other.

It carries right through the area. There is no getting away from it, even going for a walk in the previously quiet fields.

We have had some respite in the winter when it was cold, but they are back to normal today and I just know it will be like this until autumn.

Do we just need to suck it up and accept that we have been lucky until now?

OP posts:
longwayoff · 18/04/2022 10:24

Speakers in the garden OP, opera broadcast loud as possible while you go out for the day. But first, just ask them if the could keep the noise down. They may not realise just how loud they are.

WimpoleHat · 18/04/2022 10:32

Also definitely please report them to planning enforcement. The planning system exists for a reason.

Agreed. If this is the cause of your problem, this is the way to resolve it. If there are other neighbours who agree, you could do it collectively.

I think with noise you have two routes if you’ve tried speaking to them about it:

  1. Phone the council noise people. Every time.
  2. Fight fire with fire. They have Peppa Pig on loudly? Play some rap music even louder. They’ve had a late, loud party? Wagner at 7am at top volume. Give them a taste of their own medicine…..
CuddlyCactus · 18/04/2022 10:48

Or you could get a megaphone and answer every question they ask each other? Including Dom Joly man and his bowel issues "if you just hold on a minute I'll get you some haemorrhoid cream" at full volumeSmile

RachelGreeneGreep · 18/04/2022 11:08

@Runnerduck34

Nothing you can do about it but it is inconsiderate if they are making a lot of noise. I sympathise, we also live rurally. A couple of years ago next door was sold to a large family and they extended to max right up to our boundary, they have an "echo chamber" extension with bi fold doors which are always open in summer so now I can hear every conversation and hear exactly what they are watching on TV. They also have loud conversations in the garden, one of them seems to come outside of the house to talk "privately " ( but loudly!) on his mobile not realising we can hear every word ! They also have a dog they leave outside and who barks non stop whenever we are in our garden. They just seem to do everything at maximum volume. So I realise all this sounds petty but when you are used to hearing nothing birdsong in your garden it's a bit jarring. Tbh my mum lives in a town and her neighbours are a lot quieter and she can sit in her garden in peace which sadly we can now only do when they are out! So I do understand where you are coming from OP.
'Not realising that you can hear' - I would go out at the same time and hold a loud pretend conversation on my phone. Record the dog barking and play it back at them.

I feel for you. Loud and inconsiderate neighbours are dreadful.

Fluff3 · 18/04/2022 17:58

Loud voices is something you will have to put up with. Loud music and tv though is a different story. I hate people who think it is ok to play their music so loud that other people can hear it. Thats plain selfish. You can report the tv and music to enviromental health, I had to with my neighbour. Dont put up with it. At the end of the day its your home and you have the right for peace and quiet in your own home if thats what you want.

Feeascotime · 18/04/2022 18:11

They are enjoying the weather in their own garden.

Eeksteek · 18/04/2022 18:15

@Aniita

Loud voices I don't mind. But there is a special place in hell for those who subject the surrounding gardens with music on a sunny day.
I agree. I know it’s MY issue, but I really loathe other people’s manufactured noise and just want to live somewhere where I can enjoy being peacefully outdoors in the sunshine. It’s not actually too bad here, but it’s more than I’d like. Once my extrovert DD can drive, I am definitely moving somewhere more isolated. There is ALWAYS someone moving their lawn, having a huge party or playing music over their hot tub bubbles. It seems unfair that their desire for so much noise automatically trumps my preference for peace.
Momicrone · 18/04/2022 18:16

Yanbu, they sound awful and selfish

Eeksteek · 18/04/2022 18:18

Mowing. The neighbours (who I like very much, I just like a lot of quiet) leave their lawns where they are.

Pinklemonade1 · 18/04/2022 18:18

You aren't being unreasonable to be frustrated by this . I would be aswell. But you know nothing can be done as no rules or laws are being broken.

LetHimHaveIt · 18/04/2022 18:19

@Pinklemonade1

You aren't being unreasonable to be frustrated by this . I would be aswell. But you know nothing can be done as no rules or laws are being broken.
Who says?
Gonnagetgoing · 18/04/2022 18:27

For anyone who’s interested in my NDN saga (slightly derailing the thread) the NDN’s who had 2 loud parties and spoke really loudly.

Well I just ignored them and they seemed to be quieter but I was also out a few times myself so not a huge issue. The other weekend they had friends round and I heard singing at 2/3am…

This weekend I was expecting a loud party or gatherings but silence… my mum popped over and commented on the peace! I had to pop over to collect something from NDN and only one appeared to be there. She answered the door and bless her was very ill not covid but looked awful… I guess singing and drinking etc every night/weekend and not keeping tabs on friends and family attending means you might catch a virus. I was silently secretly pleased that the virus had rendered her unable to party! Grin

dropoutdoreen · 18/04/2022 18:29

Some people are just noisy fuckers. Some
Of my family members are like this. Always entertaining friends, playing music, karaoke, bbqs, kids screaming in garden, trampolining. Arguing, singing, laughing

Id hate to live close by but don't mind the parties from time to time

mumwon · 18/04/2022 18:30

@QuebecBagnet
If they are that near your bedroom you could....
make a lot of noise that sounds like ...
they might get the hint
or
get a large container with a lid, place nettles in it with water, leave to ferment.
When they are out next door place container next to the area they are sitting in & take lid off
Place lid back on when they go back in
& you get natural fertilizers for toms & plants

Luna35 · 18/04/2022 18:32

You aren't being unreasonable to feel annoyed. But they also aren't doing anything wrong from the sounds of things, unless it was going noisy late at night. It's difficult, because you would hope they might consider how their noise might disturb others but maybe they don't realise how loud they are? It's a tough one!

Horst · 18/04/2022 18:37

It all depends on how far op is willing to take it. Report the breach of planning I’d bet their noise gets louder. Report the noise they will wind a legal noise during permitted times.

Dillydollydingdong · 18/04/2022 18:37

They can do what they like in their own home, OP.

drawacircleroundit · 18/04/2022 18:38

@Feeascotime

They are enjoying the weather in their own garden.
But the way they do this means that OP can't enjoy the weather in her own garden. The NDNs changed the environment to suit them. That's selfish.
EatAllDay · 18/04/2022 18:38

Sounds like a nightmare. I’d hate it. Have you a relationship with them? Gently discuss it? Sounds like hell. I’d find it hard not to fixate on it

sophienelisse · 18/04/2022 18:44

We built a wooden type gazebo in some dead space off our kitchen. Next door have done the same with theirs. We both treat it as a bit of an extra room. I sit in mine and read mostly, I think they do the same.

But luckily we get on well, neither of us plays loud music etc etc.

Gendercritic · 18/04/2022 18:45

If it is so bad it is encroaching on your home with your doors and windows shut then involve the council. Noise at that level IS unreasonable. You won't be identified so it might be the easiest way to deal with it.

notanothertakeaway · 18/04/2022 18:46

@Mrsmch123

Wonder if my neighbours hate me..... I always have my double doors open and play music. We have family over on nice days chatting and enjoying the sun.
@Mrsmch123h

Well, have you ever asked if you disturb your neighbours?

Or, do you just not care?

tabby007 · 18/04/2022 18:49

It could be worst. My neighbours treat their bedroom like their living room! And it’s right below my bedroom!
Plus they suffer from severe mental disability and are always in watching loud tv, shouting, throwing up, snoring, up unsociable hours and I can hear everything they do like they are living in my own home!!!

namechangeranonymouse · 18/04/2022 18:50

I'd ask them to turn the volume down. Other than that there not much you can do.

Mumkins42 · 18/04/2022 18:53

You aren't being unreasonable at all to feel that way. Of course you would, I would and all the eye rolling Mumsnet women triggered on here by your post would feel the same. The question is can you do anything about it. I don't know. Sometimes there isn't much you can do but hope maybe they move. I don't know if talking to them would work or would that possibly make things even worse?
It's beautiful living in the country, in peace and bliss and must be a shock when it comes crashing down. I'm all for being a considerate neighbour. Your feelings are entirely valid.

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