To not have bought eggs for DSCs?

[eggsbenedict82]

Long story short, DSD (10yo) and DSS (8yo) are being dropped off here later by DH's ex. The whole visit was arranged with short notice, and only briefly rushed past me, as DH knows I have been busy preparing Easter for our 3yo DS.
This morning, after DS had opened his eggs, DH asked where the DSCs eggs are so they can be set up for later.
I told him I had not bought any, and when he got indignant I said it's as simple as they're not my DCs, they're his, it's not my fault he's waited until Easter day, when no shops are open. Not my responsibility, but as per usual, I've been cast as the wicked stepmother - happy Easter, hey? AIBU

To the person who doubted the 4 easter eggs...... My amazing MIL spends £10 on each of us adults for easter. Most get a bottle of wine but I am pregnant so not drinking. She got me 5 of the £2 medium eggs. I would like to say they will see me through a few months but im going to inhale them later on. So 4 eggs is not impossible (bit excessive and generous though)

@mbosnz

Actually 'their Dad forgot', no, their Dad neither thought nor bothered. He most probably assumed that OP would do it. Wrongly. Which is fair enough in some ways, but a bit shit in others.

Yeah you'd have thought that he'd know how much his second wife dislikes his first wife and family by now!

@mbosnz

Actually 'their Dad forgot', no, their Dad neither thought nor bothered. He most probably assumed that OP would do it. Wrongly. Which is fair enough in some ways, but a bit shit in others.

Did you not see the bit where op said she'd done it historically but had decided not to this year but hadn't told her dh about the change in responsibility? I'm all for the fella stepping up and playing an engaged and active role but if he didn't know she'd had enough of doing the wife work and that particular kick up the arse hadn't occurred then it's difficult to see how he was supposed to recognise his failings and step up.

Tbh it makes you sound petty to not have bought for the other children in your family. These are your step children and are consequently part of your family. If 'getting ready for Easter' is a thing for you, it seems mean spirited to not buy any for our step children.

@HELLITHURT

C'mon mumsnet!

3 .... 2.....1...

Gone!

Biggest wind up ever!

If the thread gets deleted it will be because of the ridiculously excessive abuse in the comments, not anything shocking in OPs post.

God almighty. People are genuinely saying they're shocked people "as bad as this" exist? Over not putting thought into her DHs kids Easter. It's farcical at this point.

Honestly I think a lot of why people are so excessively appalled by this is that they buy a lot on Easter for a lot of different people and cannot fathom that not everyone does. People saying "surely they'll have easter eggs at yours even if they're not there on the day, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE SO EVIL"... just really shows a lack of capacity to imagine that not everyone treats the season in exactly the same way and that is NOT, whatever the ridiculous MN echo chamber on AIBU says, shocking, spiteful or evil.

@HELLITHURT

DH is preparing the roast for later now - not that I need to justify my relationship on here, despite his misgivings, he is easy on the eye, makes me laugh, and is a good cook. Though today I do question myself!!

Hopefully his next wife will treat your child better than you treat his first children.

Maybe he won't have a third set?

His previous wife already treats OP's child better than she treats the first children...

So on Wednesday when you found out that your DSC would be visiting for Easter, did it occur to you that you had no Easter eggs for them? Did the thought of buying them pop into your head and you decided against doing it or mentioning it to your DH because you knew he wouldnt buy them and you wanted to see him fail at their expense? That's so cruel to those poor kids if so.

But @aSofaNearYou the op clear DOES make a big fuss of Easter because she's been planning her special Easter plans for DS, for weeks.

You don't think much of Easter? Great! Op clearly does, hence the excessive arrangements for her ds.

Why is it always up to the step mother the 'woman' to factor in her partners children. Why aren't the fathers held accountable. He knew he was having them why didn't he make the effort for his own children and buy eggs? YANBU op.

[quote CandyLeBonBon]@eggsbenedict82 did you tell your dh on weds that he'd need to sort out his dc's Easter eggs? [/quote]
Say what now? Why would she need to tell her husband to buy his own children easter eggs? And why is it her fault that he didn't?

"Why didn't she order some for the step children when she bought some for her son"? OP has already said she found out they were coming AFTER she went shopping.

Let's try this from her DH perspective:
"My wife didn't buy my children any easter eggs. She put in a lot of effort to make our child's easter special by buying eggs and gifts for him while I did nothing. We then found out that my other two children from a previous marriage were coming over and, during the four days I knew they were coming, I again did nothing. My wife didn't go shopping again but I expected her to go out of her way and buy my children eggs because I couldn't be bothered. Well, now my kids are on their way over and I'm flapping because there's no eggs for them. They're not having mine because mummy got them for me for being a big boy so they'll have to take two eggs off my son (from the ones my wife got him before we found out they were coming). My wife is annoyed but c'mon, did she really expect me to think ahead and buy my own children eggs? I couldn't be bothered!"

But yeah, sure, let's all blame op..

The ex wife sounds like the only decent person in this whole mess.

@allCandyLeBonBon, yeah, I failed to register that point! Oh dear. . . I guess that's why some men need to get the memo that it isn't 'wifework', it's 'lifework', and the only one they can depend on for sure to do it, is themselves. It does sound a bit more topic than issue, in this case though!

Who prepares for weeks for Easter for a toddler yet fails to pick up a £1 egg for 2 step children?! 😂🤷🏻‍♀️

”I’d probably have bought all the eggs for all of the children at the same time just for ease, not divided them into your kids v ours. However, the fact that he automatically expected you to do this without any discussion so he didn’t have to and didn’t check to make sure his children did actually have an egg means that he’s the unreasonable one.”

^^ THIS

Glad they got Easter eggs in the end OP. Enjoy your roast.

@gingerbiscuits

Christ, it gets worse - so you knew several DAYS ago that they were coming & couldn't nip out to a shop to pick up a couple of eggs & it's taken you WEEKS to prepare an Easter egg hunt & buy some stuff for your son?? This has to be a piss take, surely??

Wtf? How can you be SO convinced it's a woman's job that you think it has to be a piss take that she didn't go back out, rather than their own dad? It's one thing to expect her to have warned him she wasn't getting them, another entirely to expect her to have gone back out. And you expect this so strongly you think not doing it is a piss take??

I've been a stepmom for 12 years now, and a bio mom for 8. You're both being dicks.

Why would either one of you want to leave the older DCs out of their dad's family? Are you the type to deliberately go on holiday with your DS and without them too?

@CandyLeBonBon

But *@aSofaNearYou* the op clear DOES make a big fuss of Easter because she's been planning her special Easter plans for DS, for weeks.

You don't think much of Easter? Great! Op clearly does, hence the excessive arrangements for her ds.

Yes but dad clearly doesn't. If dad was dead against Easter and OP arranged an Easter celebration to include DSC she'd get told she was wrong as she's not their parent.

Yabu I couldn't imagine being so spiteful towards two children especially if they were my dhs put not a 1/2 quid easter egg in the trolley when shopping would you have got nieces and nephews? I'm so glad my ds has a decent step mom who makes sure he's included.

I'm appalled at the amount of women putting the blame and responsibility on the OP

It's the PARENT'S RESPONSIBILITY. i.e. the father. He had down zero for any if his kids

Nope @CooooCoooo I didn't ever say blame the Op. I think both parties are behaving badly for different reasons and whilst dh needs to step up his lazy parenting, op needs to communicate if she's not happy to continue shouldering the wife work of buying Easter eggs for the dsc.

They seem to have slipped into roles that she's not happy with. He absolutely should step up, but change takes communication and none of this should be at the expense of children who have no agency in this relationship.

@Willyoujustbequiet

The ex wife sounds like the only decent person in this whole mess.

Nope she sounds creepy and intrusive

@aSofaNearYou the OP does buy for other people for Easter, she also makes a big deal out of Easter, she’s also made it very clear she’s done this to prove a shitty point to her husband. She normally buys his kids eggs. She’s also very clearly enjoying winding people up on here so she’s bound to get negative comments.

@00100001

I'm appalled at the amount of women putting the blame and responsibility on the OP

It's the PARENT'S RESPONSIBILITY. i.e. the father. He had down zero for any if his kids

But the EX WIFE went to the effort of buying for the new DC!