To not have bought eggs for DSCs?

[eggsbenedict82]

Long story short, DSD (10yo) and DSS (8yo) are being dropped off here later by DH's ex. The whole visit was arranged with short notice, and only briefly rushed past me, as DH knows I have been busy preparing Easter for our 3yo DS.
This morning, after DS had opened his eggs, DH asked where the DSCs eggs are so they can be set up for later.
I told him I had not bought any, and when he got indignant I said it's as simple as they're not my DCs, they're his, it's not my fault he's waited until Easter day, when no shops are open. Not my responsibility, but as per usual, I've been cast as the wicked stepmother - happy Easter, hey? AIBU

@eggsbenedict82 “current or previous children”. Jesus just when I think you can’t get any worse. Your son has not replaced his children. He is not a new car! They are all CURRENT children. I get that your husband has been a dick and not organised anything for any of his children but where do you get off being so vindictive to children?

If you’ve got beef with your husband, fine, but don’t exclude these kids. If you didn’t want to have a role in his kids lives or wanted your son to be the only one you should have looked for a man with no children. Step parenting is not for everyone.

Your relationship sounds horrible and you’ve decided to take it out on your step children that you are now describing as his ex’s children. Ffs. These kids are your little boy’s siblings. Why so nasty?

@Throckmorton

Hang on, you mean he's still in a sulk? Unless this is very out of character for him (which it doesn't sound like it is, from your other posts) can I ask what redeeming qualities he has that you are staying with him for?

DH is preparing the roast for later now - not that I need to justify my relationship on here, despite his misgivings, he is easy on the eye, makes me laugh, and is a good cook. Though today I do question myself!!

But surely even if you weren't originally due to see SC this weekend and would have seen them in the week/next weekend, you would have an egg each for them ready for the next time they came over. Or weren't they going to get eggs just because today wasn't their scheduled weekend? That's what's baffling me.Op didn't bother and didn't mention she'd not got them any and her DH didn't bother until the kids were unexpectedly coming over. So from that I assume if things had gone to plan SC wouldn't have had an egg from Dad and Stepmum at all.

@HELLITHURT

C'mon mumsnet!

3 .... 2.....1...

Gone!

Biggest wind up ever!

No apparently she is real. I reported the thread earlier and they came back and said OP was genuine but they were keeping an eye on the thread.

So there are people as bad as this on here. Go figure

How on Earth did it take you weeks to prepare Easter for a toddler?

You could easily just have told your husband that you weren't going to buy the eggs, so he would know to buy them. I think you knew exactly what you were doing.

This is why the whole "divorce doesn't really affect children, happy parents = happy kids" thing is a load of nonsense. Quite often, children of separated parents end up being used as pawns in bizarre power struggles, with their step-parents trying to make it clear that they're not really part of the family.

I feel really sorry for the poor kids, while you two 'grown ups' are busy squabbling about whose kids and responsibility it is.

My sense here is that you just didn't want to get them anything, whether it's out of resentment for your husband, his ex, the kids, or all of them.

I hope the children aren't too upset (but let's face it, at that age, sweet treats are very important and these occasions make a life's memories) and that, next year (or even tomorrow), you manage to do a better job of it.

Same @Womencanlift

Extremely spiteful.

I am SM and I honestly struggle with it sometimes but not a chance I wouldn't buy them eggs when I was buying them for my own DC. What sort of person would that make me?!

It's a couple of quid and throwing a few extra eggs in the trolley, is hardly a major inconvenience. Get over yourself.

I don't think your husband is unreasonable to imagine you'd buy eggs, as you were in fact buying eggs.

@AlternativePerspective

Not buying eggs for all the children is incredibly petty, and “getting Easter ready for ds”? Wtf?

I agree! It wouldn't have even occurred to me NOT to get Easter Eggs for my step children as I was buying them for my own child. Seems ridiculously petty & harsh - especially as you seem not to give a shit about the fact that they'll be turning up at their dad's house later & will clearly see that they've been left out. They might not be your biological children but they are your husband's & are half siblings to your child. For the sake of a few quid, why wouldn't you get them some? I would have done, even if I wasn't expecting to actually see them today!

I’m glad you aren’t my step mother. Even if the children weren’t coming for Easter surely you’d have still got them an egg for when they were coming?

Maybe look at the bigger picture and how those children are going to feel. It’s not about how an adult feels or what he does or doesn’t do but how children feel. They can’t help having a step parent. It’s not their fault.

DH is preparing the roast for later now - not that I need to justify my relationship on here, despite his misgivings, he is easy on the eye, makes me laugh, and is a good cook. Though today I do question myself!!

Hopefully his next wife will treat your child better than you treat his first children.

Maybe he won't have a third set?

Do you actually like your stepchildren at all? @eggsbenedict82?

Also I'm annoyed at the OP blaming the "cost of living crisis". Some people are really struggling OP and haven't been able to spend weeks preparing an egg hunt and a shower of gifts for a toddler.

It's a bit rough that no-one thought to get the kids an easter egg. I mean, it's pretty unforgivable that their Dad forgot, but if I know people are going to be at ours for something like Christmas or Easter, I make sure there's something to make them feel included, be they old or young. Four days and nobody went near a shop?

Christ on a bike. This was a solvable problem.

OP's DH on Wednesday: "Oh BTW, my kids are coming over for Easter after all."

OP: "Oh ... ok. Right, well I've already prepared X, Y, and Z for our DS for Easter Sunday. What are your plans for your DCs? Are you getting them Easter eggs?"

That still makes it clear that he's meant to take responsibility. And doesn't hurt the other kids involved just because you'd originally planned on having Easter Sunday as just you, your DS and your DH.

I would have bought the children eggs.
What the hell do you need to get ready for your Ds that you can’t pick up a couple of eggs.

You sound mean and petty. If you’ve got a problem with your Dh not doing things for Easter, then discuss with him BEFORE the day who’s expected to do what. Why should the kids miss out?
I think you planned this. It’s a nasty thing to do.

@iCouldSleepForAYear

Christ on a bike. This was a solvable problem.

OP's DH on Wednesday: "Oh BTW, my kids are coming over for Easter after all."

OP: "Oh ... ok. Right, well I've already prepared X, Y, and Z for our DS for Easter Sunday. What are your plans for your DCs? Are you getting them Easter eggs?"

That still makes it clear that he's meant to take responsibility. And doesn't hurt the other kids involved just because you'd originally planned on having Easter Sunday as just you, your DS and your DH.

That would involve acting like an adult instead of a passive aggressive teenager though!

@MolliciousIntent

I don't think you should have bought eggs for your DSCs, but I would have. If you were already buying eggs for one of the children in the family, it seems a bit petty/exclusionary to not buy the other children in the family eggs too. Obviously you'll get the usual answers of "not your kids, not your problem" but unless there's a huge drip feed coming about contentious parenting arrangements and ironclad finance separations, I'd think you were being a little mean spirited.

That's exactly what I thought. I bought my sister's step-son (not even my step-son!) presents when I bought his half siblings (my sister's kids) some. I would not leave a kid out.

Actually 'their Dad forgot', no, their Dad neither thought nor bothered. He most probably assumed that OP would do it. Wrongly. Which is fair enough in some ways, but a bit shit in others.

WhileI agree it's not your responsibilty, TBH I would have got a couple of eggs in for them.

OK - he should have either asked you or got them himself, but it seems very petty not to have bought any - they're only children and I wouldn't have risked him forgetting.

DH is preparing the roast for later now - not that I need to justify my relationship on here, despite his misgivings, he is easy on the eye, makes me laugh, and is a good cook. Though today I do question myself!!

Your relationship doesn't seem it will last the distance, even if henis cooking you a roast.

His 3rd wife probably won't treat your child very well either.

Technically it should be their father's responsibility. However, if I was the one shopping and already buying my own child's egg then I would have just bought three eggs (and a bag of hunting eggs if I wanted to do a hunt with them).

Christ, it gets worse - so you knew several DAYS ago that they were coming & couldn't nip out to a shop to pick up a couple of eggs & it's taken you WEEKS to prepare an Easter egg hunt & buy some stuff for your son?? This has to be a piss take, surely??