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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not have bought my team easter eggs..

324 replies

M00cow · 15/04/2022 08:00

Hello,

I have recently had a promotion at work and now line manage 6 others. The increase in pay only works out to be about £8 a day compared to a big increase in workload/responsibility (I say that because its hardly like im suddenly earning a fortune). I have also only been in this role for 2 weeks so haven't even received my first payslip yet.

However, i have had several comments from my team this week about Easter eggs...pointing out that other managers had bought their staff one and when was I going to do the same. Some of these comments came across really sarky and it has made me feel quite bad for not buying any! It hadn't even crossed my mind tbh and money is tight at the best of times.

I suppose my AIBU is am I being mean for not buying a team of adults (older than myself) an Easter egg when I'm very newly in this role? Or do they need to grow up? Half tempted to go to the shops now and try to pick something up for tuesday because I feel guilty!

Thoughts please

OP posts:
Partyatnumber10 · 15/04/2022 12:03

I'd always get my team something as a thank you for their hard work.
A small bunch of daffodils, Easter cakes, a few packs of mini eggs in a bowl. It doesn't have to cost the Earth and fosters a bit of goodwill.
However, my team wouldn't sulk or get sarky if I didn't 🤷🏽‍♀️

ThinWomansBrain · 15/04/2022 12:11

I wouldn't present eggs after the easter break - looks a bit too reactive.
I would do something random - at the end of a project, or year end etc if there's something coming up, a random friday for cake or biscuits in the office, or maybe ahead of the long weekend coming up in June?

TheKeatingFive · 15/04/2022 12:13

It's funny. We normally get Easter eggs from work (paid for by the company). We didn't this year. I don't think it was deliberate, I think they forgot.

For context, got much bigger bonuses than usual, the Easter eggs are a tiny drop in the ocean of that. But people missed the eggs. Not in a bratty way, but it was noticed.

The goodwill that comes from that couple of quid is entirely disproportionate.

rookiemere · 15/04/2022 12:14

Thing is it's all very well us telling OP what happens or doesn't happen in our offices, but if every other team in her work walks out clutching their chocolate Egg, then of course her team is going to feel aggrieved- childish and unwarranted or not.

Being stroppy with them and reminding them that they are adults is hardly going to help.
OP I'd suggest next time you're in you bring in a box of Krispy Kreme donuts or a tin of sweets or something.

Hrpuffnstuff1 · 15/04/2022 12:15

FGs, easter eggs, at work.
Honestly tell them to fudge off.
It seems to me some workplaces resemble a nursery.

Blossomtoes · 15/04/2022 12:18

@Hrpuffnstuff1

FGs, easter eggs, at work. Honestly tell them to fudge off. It seems to me some workplaces resemble a nursery.
People taking this attitude have obviously never worked in the public sector that runs on goodwill. The return on a few treats is off the scale disproportionate.
Williamshatnershorses · 15/04/2022 12:21

I haven’t read the whole thread but…you don’t have to buy the eggs but why wouldn’t you?

It’s just £6 and shows appreciation of you team. In your case in particular, it sets the tone of your leadership since you’ve only been there 2 weeks. Yes, we’re all there to work and are being paid for it, but a kind gesture from the boss is remembered and helps keep your team engaged and happy which is good news for you.

Personally, I’m not so fond of getting things at specified dates like Easter/Valentine’s Day, but just random occasions - a box of cakes at the end of a hard week, tin of celebrations on pay day etc. It’s a few pounds out your pocket each time but it makes your team feel valued which, evidence shows, usually leads to better work and less sickness, which reflects well on you as their boss and you can use then at your next 121/annual review to negotiate a better pay rise.

ItsYabbaDabbaDoTime · 15/04/2022 12:22

No need to buy giant Easter eggs but a small gesture of appreciation (?Lindt mini eggs bag each) wouldn’t go amis.

OohThatCat · 15/04/2022 12:24

It’s very weird they expected you to make the purchase out of your own money? Wouldn’t the company pay? I used to buy everyone in my (small) office an egg but the company paid.

VyeBrator · 15/04/2022 12:24

@YvanEhtNiojYvanEhtNioj

They probably don't even care about the eggs, they're probably just jealous of your promotion and looking for any little thing to complain about.
Yeah because everyone's just dying to take on all that extra work for an extra £8 per day 🙄
rookiemere · 15/04/2022 12:28

@VyeBrator they don't know how much OPs pay rise does or doesn't equate to. Perhaps they thought she had negotiated a better pay rise than she actually did.

In their eyes she is now management which comes with certain unwritten obligations.

OP can dig her heels in and not spend the money, but have others have said the £10 or so it will cost versus not spending it will generate a lot of goodwill, or bad will if she doesn't do it.

fossilsmorefossils · 15/04/2022 12:28

It was normal at our office to receive some easter chocolate. Nothing big and fancy though. More of a gesture kind of thing.

fossilsmorefossils · 15/04/2022 12:31

Also keep an eye on secretary day. Remembering that one gives you a lot of goodwill...

PerpetualOptimist · 15/04/2022 12:41

Let's focus on the positives @M00cow because there are a lot of them. You have been promoted at a relatively young age by your existing employer; you already know the team members you are working with and the work processes in that team; you are thinking about the Easter Egg 'issue' and the wider dynamic and you plan to talk to other line managers to get a better sense of the management culture and variations in that across teams.

Be strategic about if and when you make small 'gift' gestures out of your own pocket. Perhaps focus on Christmas only or, as a PP suggested, make it random in terms of timing so there is not set pattern and so reduce the risk of building up a sense of entitlement rather than gratitude.

Don't fall into the trap of thinking that all your team think the same way as those who chose to tell you that you should be buying them an Easter Egg. Your team has a, b, c, d, e and f. It sounds like only a and b said something sarcastic and pointed about Easter Eggs. It may well be that c, d, e, and f think their colleagues are being unreasonable and boundary testing. They will be watching, passively, with interest; so act on your own terms and not on the basis of being reactive to a and b. You might find that the other team members thank you for that in the longer run.

Hrpuffnstuff1 · 15/04/2022 12:48

Goodwill, how about salary=performance at work.
Do what you're paid for or your managed out.
Best thing to do is mold the team how you want, get rid of dissenters...
Then reward them, don't bribe people.

LynetteScavo · 15/04/2022 12:50

Maybe other managers are big into Easter. Your thing might be different. My manager brings in pastries for breakfast on certain days. It's her thing. I think you should find your own thing, like making sure you remember birthdays or doing something individual but cheap at Christmas. I can see now why other managers go for Easter eggs

Blossomtoes · 15/04/2022 12:52

@Hrpuffnstuff1

Goodwill, how about salary=performance at work. Do what you're paid for or your managed out. Best thing to do is mold the team how you want, get rid of dissenters... Then reward them, don't bribe people.
Yes, that’s all great when you want someone to do something urgent at really short notice (not). Chocolate is quicker, easier and brings instant results.

And don’t say short notice is bad management because some of us have deal with regular unforseeable crises at work.

TheKeatingFive · 15/04/2022 12:55

I can see now why other managers go for Easter eggs

Absolutely, how much is an egg? £2?

It doesn't get more cost effective than that.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 15/04/2022 13:00

@Hrpuffnstuff1

Goodwill, how about salary=performance at work. Do what you're paid for or your managed out. Best thing to do is mold the team how you want, get rid of dissenters... Then reward them, don't bribe people.
That sounds great in an ideal world, but many workplaces don't (or can't) operate that way.

Many managers have no control over what their staff are paid, and they can't promote people if there are no roles to promote them into.

I used to work in retail management. Pay was dictated by Head Office and was nothing to do with me. There was nothing I could do to reward people financially for a job well done as there were no positions to promote people into either.

But what I could do was let them go early occasionally and pay them in full for that time. I could use my discretion on hot days to take £10 from the till and get everyone an ice cream, or when we did stock take, I could arrange for everyone to have a pizza. And yes, at Christmas they all got £1 advent calendars and £1 eggs at Easter.

Were my staff all eight years old? Of course not, but it was my job to make them feel appreciated and as I couldn't reward them financially, I did it via things like coffees, ice-creams, chocolates and early finishes.

All my staff understood that I was doing what I could to show my thanks for their hard work and it was very much appreciated.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 15/04/2022 13:07

As others have said... Its ALL to do with culture...

I once had a grim temp job in a factory... Was there for only a few weeks... The payroll announced to everyone it was my birthday... And I was expected /bullied into buying everyone a cream cake...

There were 30 of them....

I didn't.. They nagged me for days about this... I ran out of excuses... So then they put washing up liquid in my tea... ... Someone else new went and kowtowed to their demands... I left soon after....

I just wasn't willing to spend the best part of days pay on bully colleagues...

Although had it been an hours pay... I probably would have suckled it up..

lap90 · 15/04/2022 13:18

@TheKeatingFive

I can see now why other managers go for Easter eggs

Absolutely, how much is an egg? £2?

It doesn't get more cost effective than that.

Even better... 1 quid.
ImInStealthMode · 15/04/2022 13:29

@Hrpuffnstuff1

FGs, easter eggs, at work. Honestly tell them to fudge off. It seems to me some workplaces resemble a nursery.
And others, apparently, must reassemble a morgue.

As a PP says below, I have no control over how much my team get paid so can't reward them they way.

I can treat them now and again, let them go a little early (I did this yesterday ahead of the long weekend) and make our work place as pleasant and fun as possible. I get an engaged, fair and Co-operative team in return.

Blimecory · 15/04/2022 13:32

TLs where I work often, though not always, earn less than the people they manage, though.

Georgeskitchen · 15/04/2022 13:59

How old are they, 6?

ExplodingElephants · 15/04/2022 14:03

They’re properly cheeky! I’ve had line managers that have given Easter eggs/Christmas gifts and others that haven’t. I’m always grateful to the ones that do and no hard feelings to the ones that don’t. These are your colleagues, not your family or friends. Are they planning on getting you anything? Did they get you anything to celebrate your promotion?

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