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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not have bought my team easter eggs..

324 replies

M00cow · 15/04/2022 08:00

Hello,

I have recently had a promotion at work and now line manage 6 others. The increase in pay only works out to be about £8 a day compared to a big increase in workload/responsibility (I say that because its hardly like im suddenly earning a fortune). I have also only been in this role for 2 weeks so haven't even received my first payslip yet.

However, i have had several comments from my team this week about Easter eggs...pointing out that other managers had bought their staff one and when was I going to do the same. Some of these comments came across really sarky and it has made me feel quite bad for not buying any! It hadn't even crossed my mind tbh and money is tight at the best of times.

I suppose my AIBU is am I being mean for not buying a team of adults (older than myself) an Easter egg when I'm very newly in this role? Or do they need to grow up? Half tempted to go to the shops now and try to pick something up for tuesday because I feel guilty!

Thoughts please

OP posts:
Xyyxxx · 16/04/2022 18:40

I assume they get paid for their work. An easter egg would be a nice bonus but certainly shouldn't be expected or asked for.

Neverreturntoathread · 16/04/2022 18:46

Yanbu - but but them eggs (or maybe a cake to share?) anyway or they will sulk forever and sulky employees won’t be much fun.

Supermum29 · 16/04/2022 18:50

We usually always get a little something at Easter but with my team I bought a little container and bought a few multi pack chocolate bars (4 for a £1 type thing) and could fill it for a few £. The team often enjoyed a bit of chocolate with a tea mid morning or afternoon and it was nice to treat them a little and not spend loads of money. Then I’d refill it every now and then especially if it was very busy/stressful time of year on the work front.

You’ll get the hang of the new role but do not give in to them making you feel bad. Maybe get the eggs or a little something but do make a mental note to not always cave if they’re moaning at you. It’s a slippery slope x

dondon23 · 16/04/2022 18:53

As you're new into the job and younger than them, I think they may be trying to intimidate you..... tell them to crack on

alltheteeshirts · 16/04/2022 18:55

Some things to consider.

  1. What is the expectation from prior years and previous managers? (If you weren't there, ask someone who isn't going to lie to you, i.e. ideally some of the same grade but in a different team.)
  1. Can you afford to continue old traditions? If not, can you make clear that previous traditions were not funded by the company, they were funded by a previous manager personally, who was apparently far richer?
  1. What is the pay differential? If you're paid several thousands more per year, I can understand why they expect something from you. If they're on NMW and you're on 10p more per hour, then they're wholly unrealistic and need to check themselves. Manager doesn't always mean paid wildly better.
  1. What sort of manager do you want to be?
  1. Can you start any new (more affordable) traditions? Can you negotiate a budget from the company, or start a cheap tradition you can actually afford? (Like bringing in a tub of penny sweets to share.)
Callipygion · 16/04/2022 18:59

I’m not a manager or team leader or anything like that, just a minion really, but I baked a sponge cake, iced it and put a few mini eggs on it and brought it in for everyone to share. Could you do some baking? Most people like home made cakes or biscuits.

PS haven’t read full thread, only page 1 so excuse me if the world and his wife have suggested it too.

CMZ2018 · 16/04/2022 19:09

What a team of weirdos

TheKeatingFive · 16/04/2022 19:10

Can you start any new (more affordable) traditions?

I'm not sure how much more more affordable it gets than Easter eggs. A quid a pop for an individual gift.

alltheteeshirts · 16/04/2022 19:24

@TheKeatingFive

Can you start any new (more affordable) traditions?

I'm not sure how much more more affordable it gets than Easter eggs. A quid a pop for an individual gift.

Depends on how large the team is, and what they expect by an Easter egg.

Might be £1 each, might be £10 each. Multiplied by however many people. Not all Easter eggs are equal...

707smile · 16/04/2022 19:31

YANBU but if it's the norm for your workplace then in your shoes, I would probably buy a box of doughnuts or something!

ProudMary79 · 16/04/2022 19:39

Are they a bunch of kids or a bunch of dickheads? Tell them to grow up and ask why haven't they bought you one! Good luck in your new job. Don't buy them any eggs.

LazJaz · 16/04/2022 19:45

This happened to me once …when I was working abroad. Staff complained that at another office in the building, employees received new mobiles for a holiday that wasn’t particularly celebrated in the country we were working in, but our company only have out token gifts.
Tbh really annoyed me- seems grabby. I don’t think you do a job for the minor finge benefit perks, you should do it because it pays well enough , treats you like a full human. and gives you an opportunity for advancement/development/satisfaction of some kind.

I wouldn’t go out and buy eggs for Tuesday.
Be a good manager - keep the shit away from the team, give them development opportunities, be loyal to them, support them. Note those who remain snarky about a £2 token egg- are they people you want on your team or do they have an attitude that undermines the team effort? Honestly, I have little time for people who are petty, and as a line manager I would let people know if their behavior was not going to fly on the team - getting upset about a £2 egg? Sad.

It’s a shame because this kind of thing puts people off management roles, or worse puts people off doing their best as managers - I’ve heard lots of managers say things like “give them an inch…” and “don’t set a precedent”.

Also if it’s an expectation that managers will treat their teams to gifts… are you able to expense any of them? Something to bear in mind for Xmas.

Dnaltocs · 16/04/2022 20:26

New boss new ways.

I’ve never had Easter Eggs from my Bosses.
The moment has gone for Eggs. Consider a big box of biscuits or family size variety chocolates to share in their workplace. If you start Easter Eggs it will be every year. Just occasionally give them biscuits.
I had an Italian boss who’d give us a glass of whisky or wine and shortbread on the 1st working day in the New Year.
Had a boss who’d give us all lovely thoughtful Christmas gifts for years, then one year she gave all 5 of us, gloves and a scarf. Acrylic and all in different colours. Horrendous , but it’s the though that counts. I still have the scarf but never wear it. The gloves I gave to someone long ago. Think she must have been short of £
It’s lovely getting individual Christmas cards with personal words of appreciation. A kind word goes a long way and it costs nothing, but not too often as it dilutes the sentiment.

Eggsley · 16/04/2022 20:40

I've got a team of 6 and bought them £1 Easter eggs, they didn't ask but it's a little something that shows my appreciation for them. I also buy them advent calendars at Christmas, chocolate at Halloween and the odd McDonalds breakfast, ice cream, sausage roll or coffee. Sometimes I take in popcorn or biscuits. We had a particularly tough week a couple of weeks ago with people off sick and on holiday so the two who were in the office with me got some mini-eggs at the end of the week as a little thank you. I usually get them Prosecco or chocolates for their birthdays and Prosecco for a new house.

The company gives them a bonus every year which is a separate thing, the stuff I buy comes from me - I'm extremely lucky to have a great team, I appreciate all of them and I wouldn't be able to do my job anywhere near as well without them.

I'd be pissed off if I'd just taken over a new team and they were demanding stuff though!

Mumof3confused · 16/04/2022 20:41

I’d think it was odd if my manager bought me an Easter egg tbh. I’m not 5 years old. What’s next, Valentines chocolates?

GinIsAGirlsBestFriend · 16/04/2022 21:28

All management got a lindt choc bunny in our office. Everyone else got nothing unless their manager bought it for them, very Them and Us. As Us, feeling quite agreived.....

Hmm1234 · 16/04/2022 21:35

Sounds like a toxic office work place. I’d of just brought them each a £1 egg to throw them off guard lol

TheKeatingFive · 16/04/2022 22:46

Might be £1 each, might be £10 each. Multiplied by however many people. Not all Easter eggs are equal...

Oh fgs, you can supply an Easter egg for a quid, max 2. I doubt they were demanding faberge.

Blossomtoes · 16/04/2022 22:59

I doubt they were demanding faberge

😂

TheKeatingFive · 16/04/2022 23:03

If they were, then yes they were being unreasonable 😆

tiktokontheclock · 16/04/2022 23:13

I'm in two minds here. I had a brilliant manager who did this. He wasn't brilliant because of the Easter eggs, it was because of other things, but I loved that every year he would buy me an egg based on my fave chocolate which I hadn't told him - he had just noticed for himself I always chose/ate it.

I felt it this year as I now have an awful manager and obviously, no egg. For a variety of reasons, she's proven herself to be bad at developing the team. Of course I wouldn't normally care about a bloody egg, but did it make me remember him? Yes.

FangsForTheMemory · 16/04/2022 23:26

In my last office, we were a big team and most people bought seasonal stuff to share, whatever grade they were on.

Mamanyt · 16/04/2022 23:48

While they may be being childish, there is apparently a tradition of marking the holiday in that company. Doing so will cost you a small amount of money, but not doing so will cost you a lot of goodwill. If it were not a company-wide thing, it would hardly matter, but it apparently will. You'll become "THAT manager" and will have a hard time living it down.

Koekoo · 17/04/2022 00:17

You are a team leader - not line managing. And so what if you only earn £8 a DAY more - you are building a career, I am astounded that that is all you take away from your promotion. You are not entitled to anything other than hard work and proving that your employers made the right decision.

As for the easter eggs. I agree with your team members. It's the thought that counts. A creme egg or a packet of mini eggs would cost you £1 per person and a few small notelets maybe £5. You telling me you can't afford £10 ??? How much will you be spending this weekend? An egg with a handwritten note card would be more than sufficient to show you care (even if perhaps you don't - you will learn the politics).

Whatever you do - don't do it in retrospect, please don't do that to yourself. Just remember the lesson for next time.

caringcarer · 17/04/2022 00:46

If the culture of company is that managers buy Easter eggs and other managers bought them for their team you do not want to start by alienating your team. As you are new to role you might need them to back you up. You could get a cheap Cadbury's egg for 1.25 each.