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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not have bought my team easter eggs..

324 replies

M00cow · 15/04/2022 08:00

Hello,

I have recently had a promotion at work and now line manage 6 others. The increase in pay only works out to be about £8 a day compared to a big increase in workload/responsibility (I say that because its hardly like im suddenly earning a fortune). I have also only been in this role for 2 weeks so haven't even received my first payslip yet.

However, i have had several comments from my team this week about Easter eggs...pointing out that other managers had bought their staff one and when was I going to do the same. Some of these comments came across really sarky and it has made me feel quite bad for not buying any! It hadn't even crossed my mind tbh and money is tight at the best of times.

I suppose my AIBU is am I being mean for not buying a team of adults (older than myself) an Easter egg when I'm very newly in this role? Or do they need to grow up? Half tempted to go to the shops now and try to pick something up for tuesday because I feel guilty!

Thoughts please

OP posts:
Hrpuffnstuff1 · 15/04/2022 14:05

Really a morgue.
I understand hospitality to work colleagues and business in general.
But an egg. Staff shouldn't assume nor should they passively undermine management, this is usually done by a ring leader. Easy to identify and easy to manage out.
What happens if people don't celebrate Hallmark days.

PrescriptionOnlyMedicine · 15/04/2022 14:13

I’ve always bought my team Easter eggs but they don’t expect it. Just as well because most of them are still WFH so they’ve had no eggs since 2019 Easter Grin

It’s a nice gesture but not one you should feel obliged to do

StoppinBy · 15/04/2022 14:13

I think if it's the norm at your workplace then I would buy some cheap eggs, pop them on their desk and announce 'Easter Bunny dropped something off', that way, Morale is kept high and you look like you had it planned that way all along.

latetothefisting · 15/04/2022 14:21

@Mumdiva99

If the company culture is that managers buy their team an egg then you are being a little bit unreasonable. The goodwill you will get for spending £6-10 on some eggs might well be worth it. (I appreciate that isn't nothing to you.....but still think it worth it.)
This. I was in a similar position a while ago - I'm a union rep and some bad feeling arose about people not getting the usual chocolates/bottle of wine Christmas 2020.

Managers view - it's been a hard year for us, wine and chocolates for 6-8 people per team is quite a lot of money, we're not in the office like we usually are so how would we even have got them to people, delivery to 40 separate houses will cost more than the wine, nobody's ever very grateful for them anyway, the staff we manage are all on fairly decent wages so can afford to buy themselves some chocolate if they want some.

employees view - yes it's been hard, particularly for us as we, unlike management, were still expected to go out and meet the general public during the middle of a pandemic which is why when it's the hardest year we've ever worked it's upsetting to not even get the usual miniscule rewards we usually get, let alone something special to say thanks for us all going above and beyond while you've been sitting at home. Obviously we can afford to buy our own chocolate but it's the thought that counts. We've had our wages frozen, not having a christmas party so a tenner for a thank you isn't much to ask. Lots of other teams around the organisation have managed to get their staff presents delivered, and we've done a secret santa between us and sorted that so it's hardly impossible. You could have done a gift card or something if that was easier.

So although whatever the actual gift is can sound pretty petty, what your staff are thinking is "ffs she can't even be bothered to spend a quid on an easter egg for us to say thanks for working our socks off. See if I can be arsed to volunteer for overtime when they need someone next week."

Honestly from my experience, there are so many easy things managers could do that cost either nothing, or barely anything that would make their lives so much easier by showing they appreciate their staff and fostering a bit of good will, yet for some reason nearly all refuse to do it. It's tiny things like sending a card at christmas that is personalised to the individual for something they've done or are good at (can be an e-card or even just an email!), letting people finish ten minutes early once in a while, remembering their birthdays and saying happy birthday, perhaps buying something like a £1 chocolate egg at various times throughout the year, buying them a drink at the Christmas party, thanking and acknowledging people when they've done good work, letting them have a dental appointment once a year and not make up the time, saying "I'm sorry to hear that," and "I hope you get better" when an employee phones in sick rather than "oh are you sure? Will you be back tomorrow?"

LuckySantangelo35 · 15/04/2022 14:22

I’d love to know wtf the 12% who have voted YABU were thinking?!?

BotterMon · 15/04/2022 14:23

Are they 4? I have never bought my team easter eggs, christmas or birthday presents or cards.

They are colleagues, not my friends or family. They get paid well with bonuses and get thank yous - it's a job not the classroom!

They need to grow up.

NamelessBaby1 · 15/04/2022 14:27

If you buy anything for your staff it should be because you want to, not because you feel obliged to. I definitely wouldn't if they were actually asking for it! However back in the days we were in the office together I did usually make some eastery cakes to take in - it was never an obligation though.

JellyBunny · 15/04/2022 14:29

You don't have to buy an Easter egg and they are cheeky to ask BUT if the culture is that managers buy eggs then it may be worthwhile. Not sure how big the team is but you can get a decent egg for £1 or Roy could take in a pack of cream eggs of cookie or chocolates instead.

But you don't have to and if money is tight it's not your priority.

PinkAndViolet · 15/04/2022 14:30

They are being utterly pathetic in my opinion.

TitaniasAss · 15/04/2022 14:34

I'm in a very similar situation to you, been in my new role for 8 weeks. I bought my team a bag of mini eggs each but they would have got fuck all if they had been asking for something. They never would though because they're not dicks and I'm not their mum.

bitchymcbitch · 15/04/2022 15:11

I don't know. It's a small gesture. I bloody love it when my colleagues make efforts like that. I will often bake a cake or make lunch for them. It's just team spirit and everyone enjoys a little treat regardless of age. I would do it

Cuck00soup · 15/04/2022 15:28

Even if I had intended to buy Easter Eggs, the minute someone asked for them I would change my mind.

It sounds like the team are trying to take advantage of the OP because she's young.

It's different where the company reimburse managers. But where managers only earn a small amount of extra pay, it's cheeky expect them to put their hands in their pockets.

crepesncream · 15/04/2022 16:25

No chance No way would I be buying a bunch of adults Easter eggs.Let them buy their own if they want one.

PJ04JCW · 15/04/2022 16:34

I was a manager at 27 and hid eggs around the shop for my team! It was worth a tenner to see their faces!

WiddlinDiddling · 15/04/2022 16:36

Theres a lotta people missing that it isn't really about chocolate eggs is it.

Good managers motivate people in a variety of ways, the odd treat, be it eggs or advent calendars or cake, goes a long way to making people feel appreciated.

My work really is like a little family and we all work remotely so to have achieved that is pretty good really - but it is because our manager has ensured we feel valued, we can talk to her whenever we need to and our work is appreciated.

She does stuff she doesn't need to do - for example, we're actually self employed, she does not HAVE to come and post the latest reviews of our app to our work chat, or share an email from an app user - but its good motivational stuff if she does.

She didn't HAVE to send us all a free promo tshirt and mug, those are really for the people who will be advertising or representing the app at events/conferences/etc, but who doesn't love a freebie?

It would be super easy for her to just tell us what to do and ensure we're doing it and leave us to get on with it, and for her to remain some mysterious 'boss' who just dips in now and again to check up on us.

But if she'd done that... we'd not have stuck it through the start up period, through the 'yes I promise next week the payments will go through' period, through the 'we don't really know if this is going to work' period...

The bottom line is, you get out what you put in - if you put in a bit of fun, kindness, frivolity from time to time... you will get a much sweeter work force (obviously you still need to actually manage and get the job done as well, a fun manager who is fucking useless at all the important bits is no use at all and very frustrating to work for).

AskingforaBaskin · 15/04/2022 16:41

My work really is like a little family

Toxic work environment 101

Is the money spent coming from the company or peoples own pockets?

knowinglesseveryday · 15/04/2022 18:13

I think it's true that motivation is important. Supervisory managers shouldn't have to pay for it, though. Organisations should expect to build it in.

Hawkins001 · 15/04/2022 18:36

@WiddlinDiddling

Theres a lotta people missing that it isn't really about chocolate eggs is it.

Good managers motivate people in a variety of ways, the odd treat, be it eggs or advent calendars or cake, goes a long way to making people feel appreciated.

My work really is like a little family and we all work remotely so to have achieved that is pretty good really - but it is because our manager has ensured we feel valued, we can talk to her whenever we need to and our work is appreciated.

She does stuff she doesn't need to do - for example, we're actually self employed, she does not HAVE to come and post the latest reviews of our app to our work chat, or share an email from an app user - but its good motivational stuff if she does.

She didn't HAVE to send us all a free promo tshirt and mug, those are really for the people who will be advertising or representing the app at events/conferences/etc, but who doesn't love a freebie?

It would be super easy for her to just tell us what to do and ensure we're doing it and leave us to get on with it, and for her to remain some mysterious 'boss' who just dips in now and again to check up on us.

But if she'd done that... we'd not have stuck it through the start up period, through the 'yes I promise next week the payments will go through' period, through the 'we don't really know if this is going to work' period...

The bottom line is, you get out what you put in - if you put in a bit of fun, kindness, frivolity from time to time... you will get a much sweeter work force (obviously you still need to actually manage and get the job done as well, a fun manager who is fucking useless at all the important bits is no use at all and very frustrating to work for).

I must admit, all good points, sometimes it's the details that managers do, that they don't have to do, that can make all the better.
Blossomtoes · 15/04/2022 18:52

@knowinglesseveryday

I think it's true that motivation is important. Supervisory managers shouldn't have to pay for it, though. Organisations should expect to build it in.
In the public sector managers have to pay for it. You can’t use taxpayers money to buy the little things that help motivate people.
HollaHolla · 15/04/2022 18:54

I have a team of 36 folks. I bought a pile of Malteser/Kitkat bunnies, and put one on everyone's desk. I get a decent salary, but that's a lot of eggs to buy! People seemed quite happy with that.... Smile

Antarcticant · 15/04/2022 18:55

I used to, when I managed a team of about 10 people. No more than £20 to get them an egg each or a chocolate bunny or whatever. It put a smile on their faces, doing quite a tough job, so why not?

ecnatsid · 15/04/2022 18:58

I would think it'd be inappropriate to buy them one and they aren't children so I don't see why they're particularly arsed?

Blossomtoes · 15/04/2022 18:59

@ecnatsid

I would think it'd be inappropriate to buy them one and they aren't children so I don't see why they're particularly arsed?
Why is it inappropriate?
Eightiesfan · 15/04/2022 19:05

This reminded me of the time 30 of us moaned about not being given a creme egg at Easter. However, we were 13 years old at the time and our previous teacher always got them for us!

They need to grow up, if they want an Easter egg that badly they can buy it themselves.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 15/04/2022 19:07

@ecnatsid

I would think it'd be inappropriate to buy them one and they aren't children so I don't see why they're particularly arsed?
What on earth would be inappropriate about it?