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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not have bought my team easter eggs..

324 replies

M00cow · 15/04/2022 08:00

Hello,

I have recently had a promotion at work and now line manage 6 others. The increase in pay only works out to be about £8 a day compared to a big increase in workload/responsibility (I say that because its hardly like im suddenly earning a fortune). I have also only been in this role for 2 weeks so haven't even received my first payslip yet.

However, i have had several comments from my team this week about Easter eggs...pointing out that other managers had bought their staff one and when was I going to do the same. Some of these comments came across really sarky and it has made me feel quite bad for not buying any! It hadn't even crossed my mind tbh and money is tight at the best of times.

I suppose my AIBU is am I being mean for not buying a team of adults (older than myself) an Easter egg when I'm very newly in this role? Or do they need to grow up? Half tempted to go to the shops now and try to pick something up for tuesday because I feel guilty!

Thoughts please

OP posts:
TwinTeensMum · 17/04/2022 08:08

Some of my managers have. You can now get some Easter eggs for £1 or a Cadbury’s creme egg or something similar (eg galaxy but same size as a creme egg).

Sometimes is the little things that makes a difference and make you feel more inclined to go above and beyond your role in time of need. I used to have a boss who was very unpleasant and thought that being autocratic was the way to go - funnily I found it very easy to come up with little white lies when asked to do work at weekends even with time off in lieu. Yet happy to do extra work without extra pay when receded for nicer bosses - just saying!

SirChenjins · 17/04/2022 08:57

@TwinTeensMum - if your horrible boss had given you a £1 egg or a crème egg would you have thought ‘oh actually, he’s really nice and this is a great team to work in’, or would you have thought ‘you know where you can shove your cheap chocolate, horrible boss’?

I’m sure most of us have worked for unpleasant or substandard bosses at some point, and there aren’t enough cakes or sweets in the world to change our view of them. It’s far better to have a boss who is respectful, flexible and supportive at all times.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 17/04/2022 09:19

@Mumdiva99

If the company culture is that managers buy their team an egg then you are being a little bit unreasonable. The goodwill you will get for spending £6-10 on some eggs might well be worth it. (I appreciate that isn't nothing to you.....but still think it worth it.)
. . ^

This

SirChenjins · 17/04/2022 09:24

If it’s company culture then hopefully the company has a budget for this - and all the other events throughout the year that the company culture dictates, otherwise it can get quite expensive for the managers.

OnlyTheTitosaurusOfTheIceberg · 17/04/2022 09:26

[quote SirChenjins]@TwinTeensMum - if your horrible boss had given you a £1 egg or a crème egg would you have thought ‘oh actually, he’s really nice and this is a great team to work in’, or would you have thought ‘you know where you can shove your cheap chocolate, horrible boss’?

I’m sure most of us have worked for unpleasant or substandard bosses at some point, and there aren’t enough cakes or sweets in the world to change our view of them. It’s far better to have a boss who is respectful, flexible and supportive at all times.[/quote]
And isn’t it even better again to have both: the boss who has their team’s back, develops and supports their staff, models good management behaviour…AND who remembers that their team is made up of human beings who often appreciate a little extra token of thanks because while the token itself may be small, may have cost pennies, the thought and recognition behind it is worth a lot?

It doesn’t have to be either / or.

SirChenjins · 17/04/2022 09:56

Absolutely - both is best, but I was making specific reference to @TwinTeensMum post

Neemi1201 · 17/04/2022 10:27

My line manager bought me (and my team) crème eggs a couple of times on the run up to Easter, and I then bought my team of 7, £1.25 Easter eggs out of Asda. Both the crème eggs and larger eggs were very much appreciated by the team, and they were quite excited by them! It’s not about Easter per se, it’s more a small opportunity to reward them for their hard work, and to make them feel appreciated.

BornAgainCountryBumpkin1 · 17/04/2022 10:29

My guys (small team of 20) get a little egg & a little box of something sweet at Christmas. Just a little token. Not all the line managers do but I have a tiny team compared to some. But I have been with them a few years & become a tradition. I never spend more than about £20. You've only just met them. Not obligated so don't worry. They have never asked. Bit cheeky to do so. They are grown adults.

lollipoprainbow · 17/04/2022 10:31

I have a new boss and she gave me £10 Amazon voucher, was a nice surprise.

SpringRainbow · 17/04/2022 10:40

I have never worked anywhere that gave our Easter Eggs to workers. It would have never occurred to me that this is a thing.

TwinTeensMum · 17/04/2022 11:12

@SirChenjins - Not saying that one Easter egg would have done the trick. You’re right flexibility, support, development etc. is way more important than 1 Easter Egg. A boss who behaves like that is also the type of boss who would also do little things like giving you an Easter Egg. Didn’t think someone would take it out of context unless I had written several hundred pages to explain properly 🙄. FYI - I generally (both within work and personal context) prefer that people treat me well all year round rather than give me expensive presents in special occasions

LoisLane66 · 17/04/2022 12:04

I'd say no, and laugh. Tell them it's not your style to curry favour.

user1471538283 · 17/04/2022 12:27

The only easter egg a manager ever bought me was the one who made me so sick I was off work for 7 months. We were all surprised she bought us eggs. I've never bought my team Easter eggs. I used to take in chocolate or the odd cake sometimes.

We are adults. We can and do buy our own eggs.

SirChenjins · 17/04/2022 13:28

A boss who behaves like that is also the type of boss who would also do little things like giving you an Easter Egg

Not in my experience. My most vicious boss was also the one who brought in cakes and sweets for our team, whereas my best boss didn’t ever bring them in. She showed her appreciation to our team in far more meaningful ways.

I’d be very concerned if, as a new boss, someone in my team felt it appropriate to ask me if I was going to buy the team an Easter egg. No-one should be that presumptuous, and I suspect the OP (who’s young and new to the role) may find there are other things ‘expected’ of her by this team.

A little 🙄 back, just because it’s Easter 😊

AskingforaBaskin · 17/04/2022 14:14

I am honestly shocked and amused at people Expecting their bosses to spend their money on staff.

They're not friends. She doesn't need to do Jack for them outside of her remit.

Turn up to work, do the work, leave work.

Praise for good work and handle any work below expectations accordingly.

Do work well because you want to be paid.

topcat2014 · 17/04/2022 14:18

God, a lot of people must be working in fairly bleak workplaces workhouses

Where is the rule that you can't be friends with your staff?
You spend enough time at work as it is.
Not talking facebook stalking etc, but knowing spouses and kids names etc, and asking after them etc.

LoisLane66 · 17/04/2022 14:22

Maybe, if you're eager to appease the squarking mob, wrap a SINGLE mini egg each, in a piece of foil and leave on each desk with a post-it-note saying 'Happy now?'

rookiemere · 17/04/2022 14:33

Yeah I'd be really keen to go the extra mile for a boss who gave me a passive aggressive mini egg Hmm.

TheKeatingFive · 17/04/2022 14:38

wrap a SINGLE mini egg each, in a piece of foil and leave on each desk with a post-it-note saying 'Happy now?'

Boss of the year, right there

LashesZ · 17/04/2022 14:38

I manage a large team and never buy them anything. Why should I? We are all paid our salary which varies according to our job role so there is no unfairness. At the end of the day, I'm paid more to sort out the issues that arise (sometimes from them their in professionalism) so there's no way in hell I'm buying them anything.

Shanda5 · 17/04/2022 15:27

I think their expectation is very strange.

I'd bet that not all (of any) of them celebrate Easter in it's traditional form.

Don't let them guilt you in to buying anything.

Onlyforcake · 17/04/2022 15:34

Allergies, imposing a single religious point of view, the health conscious, those who object to modern slavery. Surely one of your team falls into the above, thus its not an inclusive thing to do.

Morgysmum · 17/04/2022 16:01

Maybe tell them, that as you are new and don't know, who is allergic to Chocolate. (a work colleague of mine is) who is gluten free, who doesn't celebrate Easter due to being a different region etc. You have decided not to do Easter. But instead will do a secret santa, or something special for Christmas.
My work doesn't do Easter stuff, none of my jobs, since leaving school at 16 I am now 42,so had a few have never done easter, it's seen more for kids to celebrate than adults.. Yes there is a religious side, but a few of my jobs have a multicultural work force.

Largecatlover · 17/04/2022 16:38

Bake a lovely cake, decorate it with mini eggs and take it in on Tuesday. Cheap but thoughtful. Anyone would appreciate this

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