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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To still be upset my dad smacked me as a child

238 replies

WonderingSally · 14/04/2022 21:42

I've always wondered how normal my childhood was. I was born in 1988, and can remember often being smacked as a child. Thinking about it I was a good kid, I got straight As, never got in trouble, head girl at school etc. But probably at least every 2/3 weeks I ended up with a smack for often stupid reasons - I don't remember most, but one that sticks out was drying my hair for too long, that kind of level of naughtiness. Always for things I'd done wrong around the house.

AIBU to think this wasn't normal even in the 90s? Or did smacking just happen in those days? I've always wondered what happened in other households but too scared to ask incase I find out my dad is definitely a dick

OP posts:
CharlotteRose90 · 16/04/2022 04:04

I was born in 1990 and my dad didn’t smack me but my mum did a few times. To be honest looking back I deserved it and pushed her into it. Was always on the arm or something

ThatshallotBaby · 16/04/2022 07:22

We were hit. Also remember envying other children’s happier home lives. Born late sixties.
@IncompleteSenten your apology really touched me. Wishing all of us peace and acceptance. Flowers

OnGoldenPond · 16/04/2022 08:47

I was brought up in the 60s and 70s. I can only ever remember being smacked once in my entire childhood by my Mum. I remember being really shocked when it happened as it never happened before, I had done something really dangerous and Mum did it out of a reflex as I really scared her. She apologised straight away and was more upset than I was.

Being smacked on a fairly regular basis for really minor stuff has never been acceptable and sounds like your Dad was just talking out his bad moods on you. Not OK, and I think you know this really, that's why it's preying on your mind now.

crackingreward · 16/04/2022 09:46

@CharlotteRose90

I was born in 1990 and my dad didn’t smack me but my mum did a few times. To be honest looking back I deserved it and pushed her into it. Was always on the arm or something

It's really sad that you have grown up to think you deserved to be hit when you were a child

DrSbaitso · 16/04/2022 09:58

@Ticksallboxes

This is a horrible read! I'm so sorry so many of you have experienced this...

For my own experience, I was born way back in 1964. I think my dad smacked me around the face two times around the time I was between 17-19 years old - just for looking insolenty at him. It didn't make me hate him, they are still together and I have a lot of love and respect for them.

But some of these accounts are horrifying...

It's depressing how many people don't realise their own stories are among the horrifying ones.
DrSbaitso · 16/04/2022 10:04

Is anyone else starting to see how women grow up to think a man is a prince of a father just for existing, and to blame themselves when a man is a complete shit?

Although there will be many boys damaged by this shit parenting too, of course.

badspella · 16/04/2022 11:31

I can remember being slapped by my parents, slapped by teachers and even slapped by a nurse. There were a lot of slappers about in the 60s and 70s.

muddymuddyboots · 16/04/2022 13:48

You cannot ‘push’ someone into hitting you. That is a bad, shitty excuse for someone else refusing to control their temper.

Radziwill · 16/04/2022 18:20

@DrSbaitso

Is anyone else starting to see how women grow up to think a man is a prince of a father just for existing, and to blame themselves when a man is a complete shit?

Although there will be many boys damaged by this shit parenting too, of course.

True.
TheRussianDoll · 16/04/2022 22:54

I’m utterly astonished by the absentee fathers crisis. Absent emotionally. Absent physically. Absent financially. Everything, including relationships and families are disposable.

BigFatLiar · 17/04/2022 09:07

@DrSbaitso

Is anyone else starting to see how women grow up to think a man is a prince of a father just for existing, and to blame themselves when a man is a complete shit?

Although there will be many boys damaged by this shit parenting too, of course.

Don't restrict it to fathers, sounds like a lot of abusive mums as well. From past threads it always surprises me the number of people with toxic relationships with their mum. Perhaps that's just us as both of us got on well with our parents so it just seems so strange.
LaSoupe · 17/04/2022 13:12

I was smacked as a child (I was born in the 80s), but it was rare and measured. If I was really cheeky, my mum or dad would smack me hard enough to be embarrassing but not hard enough to really hurt. I think it was fine as a discipline measure the way they did it, but reading other people's accounts on here, I can see why smacking has now been banned.

LaSoupe · 17/04/2022 13:14

(Smacked on the bottom, lightly, and in a controlled way, i.e. that was wrong so you're going to get a skelp now' type of thing).

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