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Original poster

My mum is going to die

194 replies

user1496436814 · 14/04/2022 16:55

Posting for traffic. Cannot believe I’m writing this but my mum is very probably going to die today. I’m on my way to the hospital now. I have no idea what to do. Please can anyone offer any words of comfort? She’s my best friend and I feel so alone.

OP posts:
TidyDancer · 14/04/2022 23:06

Sending you lots of love tonight OP. Thinking of you and your family. ❤️

Curlewcall · 14/04/2022 23:08

@Hugasauras your words have moved me to tears.

If only I had read that before the loss of DH, DM, DDad and DGM, I would have found those first minutes, hours, weeks so much easier.

But thank you, now read they won’t be forgotten.

Curlewcall · 14/04/2022 23:11

Thinking of you and your family tonight OP Flowers

Blackalice · 14/04/2022 23:19

Sending so much love and support. Xxx

MrSnowmansCarrotStickNose · 14/04/2022 23:21

I was in this position 5 months ago OP with my dad. The unknown is terrifying; not knowing how you will react or feel when that time comes. I was afraid I would be hysterical but when the time came I was relatively calm. Although he had been ill for a short time we weren't expecting it. Be kind to yourself. Grief has been nothing like I expected. Here for you if you need a chat Flowers

Inbetweenie993 · 14/04/2022 23:24

Oh Sweetheart. Really feeling for you. I was a 'day late' for my Mum's demise. It sounds as though you can be there. Try to focus on the good stuff - we are all going one day.....

LoveSpringDaffs · 14/04/2022 23:27

Just thought I'd check in with you before bed. You are very young to be going through this, I wish I could be there for you. Big hugs xx.

Wheresmywoolyjumpers · 14/04/2022 23:28

So sorry OP. Lost my mum two years ago but am much older than you. You will get through it, but it will take a long time and you will need help and support. I hope you can be there with her - it will be a comfort to her. And to you to know you did all you could. Take care.

MummyJasmin · 14/04/2022 23:34

I am so sorry OP Flowers

TheRussianDoll · 14/04/2022 23:38

I’m so sorry. This is terribly hard for you.

My mum died just pre-covid. It wasn’t expected. Family had been with her all day and they’d all gone home to shower/eat. I’d stayed. I could see she was going so I sat on the bed as close as I could considering the equipment; I just held her hand and told it was Ok to go to sleep and how much we all loved her. The drs left us to it; in the end, my voice was the last she heard.

Please reach out to those who can help to comfort you. Sending love x

Ratatoo · 14/04/2022 23:38

Sending all my love to you OP

SquirrelG · 14/04/2022 23:47

Thinking of you OP, and sending hugs. Just hold your Mum's hand and talk to her - she will know. I'm sorry you are having to go through this at such a young age - hang onto the memories Flowers

ZeroCaffeine · 14/04/2022 23:48

just another stranger sending you good wishes Flowers

BillytheMountain · 15/04/2022 00:01

Love & strength to you OP so terribly sad to lose your Mum but especially so such a young age

@hugasaurus thank you for post, wise words will be remembered

cockerspaniel · 15/04/2022 00:07

I was 23 when I lost my mum to cancer and it will be four years ago at the end of May this year. I know how hard it is to be faced with the prospect of losing a parent and that you feel cheated out of time with her. I have a younger brother and sister who both feel that way and it's completely normal.

I was incredibly lucky to have her for the time that I did and there isn't a day that goes by where I don't think about her, I miss her terribly.

You have my deepest sympathies and I have you in my thoughts tonight. Sending you all the love in the world to get you through this xxxxxx

Happymum12345 · 15/04/2022 00:08

I’m so sorry. Flowers

MyCatIsAJerk · 15/04/2022 00:09

This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang
But a whimper

Sending love ❤️

Bonnieonthelam · 15/04/2022 00:15

I don’t know what you will walk into when you reach there but I just wanted to say there’s a bunch of us doing a virtual hand hold with you. Sending lots of love. Thinking of both your mum and you. Hope you get to spend some time together. Don’t be afraid. Take care x

Chewchewaboogie · 15/04/2022 00:26

Sendimg you much love
She will kmow that you love her .

igirton · 15/04/2022 00:31

I’m so sorry this is happening to you. I was with my mum when she died and it meant everything to me; I hope for the same for you.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 15/04/2022 01:01

I'm so sorry
Talk to her, she will hear you
Sending you love and strength Thanks

Original poster
user1496436814 · 15/04/2022 01:24

Thank you, thank you. All your support has meant the world to me. I made it to the hospital with plenty of time and was able to tell her everything I needed to whilst she was still conscious and able to understand me. They have increased the sedation and pain meds now so hopefully she will be able to slip away in peace. I have taken the sofa bed in her hospital room and will sleep next to her while my dad keeps her company. Not sure what I’ll do next. A lot of my life revolves around her—calling her in the morning, evening, telling her interesting things that happen in the day. But, as a lot of you have told me, it will be hard then get easier. I’ll just have to wait for that. Thank you again everyone. I really do appreciate the support.

OP posts:
Original poster
user1496436814 · 15/04/2022 01:25

@LoveSpringDaffs thank you xxx

OP posts:
ImWithMuriel · 15/04/2022 01:32

Sending love and hand holding. I'm so sorry you are going through this.

LovelyTeePee · 15/04/2022 01:36

I'm so sorry for what you're going through right now. I too, was in my twenties. I raced to my mum when I got the call that she was in intensive care and was unlikely to make it. I still remember the very long four hour drive, we were on holiday at the time (and my mum was supposed to be joining us at the end of the week). I was there when she took her last breath as the machines keeping her alive were switched off. She was gone, just a shell. It was so strange that at her last gasp she no longer looked my darling mum, my champion, my best friend. If course, the grief was unimaginable to begin with, but then I made it my mission to live my life as I know my mum would have encouraged me to live. I went back into education and gained my PhD. I got married and had children. Ah having children is always bittersweet if you've lost a parent. But they know who she is...nanny (my mum's preferred term,). So what I'm trying to say is ...live your best life in your mum's memory and know that she will be proud of you. Thinking of you. Know that you were so loved, and that you loved her so 🌹🌹🌹