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Original poster

My mum is going to die

194 replies

user1496436814 · 14/04/2022 16:55

Posting for traffic. Cannot believe I’m writing this but my mum is very probably going to die today. I’m on my way to the hospital now. I have no idea what to do. Please can anyone offer any words of comfort? She’s my best friend and I feel so alone.

OP posts:
OnTheBenchOfDoom · 14/04/2022 18:27

There really is no preparation for this or how you will feel. It is completely shit especially if your Mum is young. Flowers

My Mum died at 62 from cancer so we knew it was coming. I held her hand as she died. My siblings were also there. That was 12 years ago and I still feel a physical pain when I think about it. It doesn't leave you but you just get better at dealing with it.

I think the only thing I found comforting was that I knew her well enough to know what she would say to me now. So even though she isn't here anymore physically, in a way she still is because I can hear her voice with the words she would have said to me. Hopefully you have some lovely memories of your time with her and you can hold onto those.

TheHighStreetsAreDying · 14/04/2022 18:29

You've been there for when it mattered

This. This in spades. I wasn't able to be there, and that was really hard. (No one's fault, just so sudden).

It'll be hard now, but when the dust has settled, remember the mum you knew for the majority of your life. Not the mum from these hard few hours or days. It does get easier (I'm 3 years down the line with mum, and 2 with dad) it really does. But you must take all the time you need, and there are no rules on what grieving looks like, or how soon you might start feeling 'ok' (or not). Flowers

Phewthemutinyworked · 14/04/2022 18:30

Oh bless you and your darling Mum. Curl up on the bed with her and try and talk to her about all the amazing memories of her as your Mum .
Remember that hearing is the last sense to go so try and be as brave as you possibly can and make sure no one else says anything that you don’t want your Mum to hear .
Sending you love and big brave vibes 💐💐

Pinkcadillac · 14/04/2022 18:30

Thinking of you and sending strength in this difficult moment Flowers

Usou · 14/04/2022 18:35

That was a beautiful post @hugasaurus.

That's pretty much what I did when my dad died - just sat with him as I had for the five days previously, just occasionally letting him know I was still there. It was sad of course, but I also felt it was an incredibly powerful spiritual experience, and a privilege to be with him when he left this world.

cptartapp · 14/04/2022 18:36

My DM was killed suddenly aged 69 in a car accident. I saw her two weeks earlier then we went on holiday. Never saw her again after that . No chance to say goodbye. It's my biggest regret.
Thinking of you.

worriedaboutmoney2022 · 14/04/2022 18:36

@user1496436814

I'm so sorry ready this I lost my mum to cancer last year and although I knew she was end of life it was still very sad.

Treasure the moments with her xx

glittereyelash · 14/04/2022 18:36

I'm so sorry to hear this and I know how scary it is to lose your mam. I lost my mam two years ago. I was in my early thirties with a small child and it was the hardest thing I've ever had to go through. I was with my mam at the end and I let her know I was there and reassured her that I would be OK so she would pass peacefully. Youl live hour by hour for the next while. I hope you have a lot of love and support to help you cone to terms with what's happening ❤

KitKattaktik · 14/04/2022 18:40

I'm so very sorry to hear this. Xx

FannylovesDick · 14/04/2022 18:46

Tell her anything you would regret not saying to her. Tell her you love her. Tell her it’s ok to go now, you’ll all be ok.

Whatwouldnanado · 14/04/2022 18:49

So sorry, nothing to add to the wonderful wisdom here. Take care x

BringMeTea · 14/04/2022 18:51

I am so very sorry. Flowers

Cocycola · 14/04/2022 18:51

I am so sorry you are going through this Flowers Flowers Flowers

WanderleyWagon · 14/04/2022 18:53

I am so, so sorry to hear this. Sending a hug and a handhold, and wishing you strength and to have people you love around you.

ronaldmcdonald123456 · 14/04/2022 18:53

So sorry to hear about this OP

WonderfulYou · 14/04/2022 18:59

I’m so sorry to hear this OP Flowers

HikingforScenery · 14/04/2022 19:00

So sorry OP. Flowers

Glorieta · 14/04/2022 19:04

Hi OP
Many wise words from others.

I lost my mum almost 4 weeks ago, funeral was last Thursday so only a week in.

We have been clearing her house and belongings but it still feels quite surreal.

I used to call her every lunchtime to chat about the day and I keep going to call her then I remember I cant.

I didn't get to see her because the hospital was locked down due to covid and when the call came couldn't get there in time due to distance.

My only advice is to be kind to yourself and allow yourself to grieve in the way that you want and take each day at a time.

Accept help from friends who support you and pace yourself as its a long emotional process.

Huge hugs to all who have lost loved ones xxx

Bewilderbeest · 14/04/2022 19:08

Your mum will never ever leave you because she will always sit within you as a loving, healing, nurturing presence. It won’t stop you missing her physical presence dreadfully, but every time you need to draw on her strength and love it will be there inside you. One day you’ll be able to think of her without crying and although you will always miss her, it won’t be as raw as it once was. Give yourself time and surround yourself with good people. Flowers

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 14/04/2022 19:11

Oh I'm so sorry. My thoughts prayers and hand are with you. X

winterchills · 14/04/2022 19:14

I am so so sorry. Sending lots of love.

Minfilia · 14/04/2022 19:14

I’m sorry lovey,

I lost my mum suddenly and I had the same phone call as you. DB and I were both in our 20s. We went to the hospital but she never regained consciousness and was on life support until she was able to donate her organs (which was comforting). We did still talk to her and say our goodbyes.

Sending you all my best wishes. It’s the worst thing I’ve been through but it gets easier in time Flowers

Wavygravy1 · 14/04/2022 19:16

Sending love and hugs Flowers

GremlinDolphin4 · 14/04/2022 19:17

Love and strength to you Op. my mum died 2 years ago today. Xx

EllaB22 · 14/04/2022 19:23

Thinking of you OP x