My mum is going to die

[user1496436814]

Posting for traffic. Cannot believe I’m writing this but my mum is very probably going to die today. I’m on my way to the hospital now. I have no idea what to do. Please can anyone offer any words of comfort? She’s my best friend and I feel so alone.

I'm so sorry OP. This is a club no one wants to join but there are lots of us and we understand how you feel. You're not and never will be alone.

@Hugasauras your post was beautiful, thank you.

There's no words of peace or comfort I can give you. I thought my heart would never stop breaking when my mum died. But it did and it knitted back together. The old saying is time is a great healer and it really is true. Give yourself time. It's important to grieve. There's a wonderful supportive board on MN who will hold you together through the hardest days xx

Sending you 💐OP. I also lost my Mum in my 20’s and it’s very hard. But having a great Mum is amazing in itself so hang onto that.

Sorry you are going through this. ❤️

@user1496436814

Thank you everyone. And thank you especially *@Hugasauras*, reading that was very comforting. It just feels so unfair as it’s relatively unexpected and I’m still so young to be losing her. I’m only in my twenties and I’m missing out on so much time with her. But I’ll treasure the time I had with her. I couldn’t have been luckier.

I lost my mum in my late twenties (I'm now early 40s) - I was the first of my friends to lose a parent. It was very difficult at the time and still is from time to time, but life does go on which is something I'd never have believed at the time. I hope you can spend some quality time with her no matter how short it is. One of the things I'm most grateful for in life is that I was with both of my parents (my dad died couple of years ago) when they died and could hold their hands and surround them with love as they went x

This is my worst nightmare. My Mum is 77 and of course I know time is closing in and one day I'll have to face it as everyone does. Part of love and life unfortunately is loss. I lost my first husband in an accident. I felt like my entire world had ended - but we are capable of so much more than we ever give ourselves credit. Grief takes time, but each day the sun shines a little brighter. Be glad you had such a wonderful relationship with your Mum, so many aren't as lucky xxx

I am so sorry to hear this OP. Mum died when I was 20 and it's sad and unfair. If she's lucid, do tell your mum how much you love her, I never got to do that with my mum.

You're in for a tough time and you'll never truly get over losing her but you will be happy again, and that is absolutely what she would want for you. Remember everything she has given you and she will be a part of your life forever.

@user1496436814

Thank you everyone. And thank you especially *@Hugasauras*, reading that was very comforting. It just feels so unfair as it’s relatively unexpected and I’m still so young to be losing her. I’m only in my twenties and I’m missing out on so much time with her. But I’ll treasure the time I had with her. I couldn’t have been luckier.

You are very young to have to deal with this. I’m so sorry . I hope you and your mum both find peace x

I'm so sorry op! Your in my thoughts! Life will never be quite the same without your mum, but it will get easier with time. It sounds like you had a lovely relationship, lots of memories to treasure.

I’m sorry you’re having to go through this. Lean on your loved ones, they’ll want to do all they can to make this easier for you xx

I lost my mam just before covid 2020 and I miss her just as much now as ever. You’re never ready to let your mam go especially when you have a good relationship. I’m sending you hugs. Nobody understands the pain until they go through it. X

Feel sick for you, sending my biggest 🤗 and lots of love 💕 and 💐

Hugest of hugs, it’s an absolutely shit time to go through

Have you got any support IRL?

Sending you love. I’ve been through this with dd but not a parent yet. As others have said, just be present. Hold her hand. Play her a favourite song, or read something special. I treasure those moments with dd. And once it’s happened, be kind to yourself. Remember the memories of your lovely mum.

I’m so sorry OP

Really thinking of you and your mom right now op

There is no right way to go through any of it. All you can do is say what you find comforting to your mom and hold her hand.

I know what you are going through. I hope you are able to take comfort in memories of your mom going forward and know that she is at peace and was/is loved.

So very very sorry, that is going to be so very difficult.

It’s probably already been said but when your mum goes you can still sit with her for a while. I sat with someone close to me after they had died and quietly held their hand for a while and i was glad id had that time. It isn’t scary. Ask the drs/nurses for a little time, I’m sure they will be compassionate.

Some beautiful thoughtful messages on here, which I echo on the advice too. I lost my Dad and nana, who I adored a year apart. My mam is now fighting a terminal illness. I am also only young (now 31). Thinking about you xx ♥

I’m so sorry. Tell your mum how much you love her, and think about all the happy times you’ve shared together x

Quite a different situation I think as my mum died a few months ago with dementia/covid. Things I did in the last few visits:

• held her hand constantly
• told her I loved her
• mentioned the names of all family members every time I visited and said they were thinking of her and loved her (they couldn't be there due to covid restrictions)
• sang some of her favourite songs to her
• played music
• talked about happy times in the past
• told her what a great mum she was and everything I loved about her
• told her everything was ok and taken care of (my mum was a bit agitated) , she had nothing to do but relax and feel comfortable and loved.

Really feel for you OP, such a difficult time, and you're no age at all to lose a mum

I’m sorry you are going through this. I was in the same position 5 weeks ago and it was hard.
One piece of good advice I was given by the hospital chaplain was ‘be kind to yourself’.
I will be thinking of you and your mum x

Very sorry you are going through this.

I was with my mom at the end, we had her home she was only in her 60s and a vibrant, curious, enthusiastic person I'm still so angry 15 years on at what she was cheated out of.

As others have said, really concentrate and focus on the moments you have today. It will mean everything to her to have you there. Don't be afraid; it's not scary.

There's no way around the pain you are and will be feeling -- just take care of yourself. Know that you aren't alone. Write down special memories, preserve any texts/emails/cards/letters you may have from her. If she has close friends, don't be shy about reaching out to them and talking about her. I had a professional honor a year or so after mom died and one of her friends surprised me by coming to the ceremony and taking me out for a drink afterward; I'm still so touched. It makes people feel better to have a tangible way to help you.

So sorry.

I will be thinking of you.

I lost my mum at 27. I still miss her every single day. I think loosing your mum is one of the hardest losses.

No advice but sending .

You will get though this and it's ok to be sad.