Husband screaming and swearing at the football

[Santandave]

My husbands fave team are playing, he is screaming and swearing at the tv, my 15 year old has her friends sleeping over, I just texted him from upstairs saying “you are REALLY loud” and he replied “so? It’s my house” I’m disgusted at his attitude, my poor daughter! They are watching a film really loudly but I can’t imagine they can’t hear him! He’s dropped the c bomb about 5 times I’m so embarrassed. I’ve spoken to him before about how emotional he gets watching football and his general outbursts of temper (if someone drops a cup or we forget to put the bin out he totally angrily overreacts) I don’t think this is normal, am I wrong? Am I being unreasonable?

YANBU Absolutely disgusting of him.

Ew.

Yes, I’d be embarrassed. I expect your daughter is too.

“you are REALLY loud” and he replied “so? It’s my house”

His house? Or your shared house? It's certainly everyone's HOME but that obviously doesn't count for much to him.
Getting over excited at the football I do understand - however the language and his response to your request to tone it down are unacceptable in my view.

He needs to leave if this is how he's carrying on. Tell him to get off to a friends house or the pub or wherever and stop embarsssing your family.

@LittleOwl153

“you are REALLY loud” and he replied “so? It’s my house”

His house? Or your shared house? It's certainly everyone's HOME but that obviously doesn't count for much to him.
Getting over excited at the football I do understand - however the language and his response to your request to tone it down are unacceptable in my view.

Well I earn more so if we are being pedantic…

What a c*.

Seriously though, he is being unreasonable. I think men who get so angry and worked up about sports and other minor things are pathetic little twats and I would not want to live with one. What a poor example he is to his children.

What a revolting man.

Don’t football matches precipitate domestic violence? I will never understand getting that worked up over a ball being kicked.

I wonder what it is about football which gets people so worked up.

Are there any interesting articles covering the psychology of it?

I actually think a more appropriate message would have been about the language he was using rather than the volume. Does he usually scream 'cunt' at the tv without anyone pulling him up on it?

@HarryDresdensLeatherDuster

I actually think a more appropriate message would have been about the language he was using rather than the volume. Does he usually scream 'cunt' at the tv without anyone pulling him up on it?

He doesn’t really swear! He only really swears at the football but even then not usually to this extent!

I'm a bit torn on this one, to be honest. I'm very passionate about my football club to the point I don't watch them in public.

A 70+ woman calling a footballer a cunt isn't very nice. And seems to discombonulate people.

Note, I never ever call people who play for us that.

Well, I have, but only when Roy Hodgson managed us (shudders).

But would I do it in the hearing of 12 year olds? Unlikely.

If it was the City Athletico match, it was pretty stressful!

But still, he needs to be mindful of his behaviour, sounds like it was excessive.

Totally unacceptable.

YANBU. It’s inappropriate for him to be getting on like that even without guests in the house but even more when there are guests, especially if they are children!

He should be ashamed and in future, if he doesn’t stop I’d tell him to go elsewhere to watch his football

DH screams and swears at the football too. He doesn’t do this about anything else but he is footy mad, it’s his passion, and he’s very emotionally invested.
Doesn’t bother me at all, I just ignore it.

@Profanisaurasrex

DH screams and swears at the football too. He doesn’t do this about anything else but he is footy mad, it’s his passion, and he’s very emotionally invested. Doesn’t bother me at all, I just ignore it.

I think the problem here is that there were children in the house… it’s really not appropriate

Totally inappropriate, particularly when your kid has friends over. I'd be pretty unhappy if my child came home from a sleepover and said he'd witnessed that.

If my DC was at a friends house and came back and told me that one of the parents was screaming and swearing at a tv programme, I’m not sure I’d be letting them go back again!

I’m going to give you a very different opinion. Is he a Man City fan? The game will have been incredibly stressful. Think of being rear ended in a crash and there then being road rage directed at you - that kind of stressful. It’s hard for non-fans to understand just how emotive football gets. People are still bitter and upset about results years later. People end up in tears and screaming in stadiums and the swearing can be horrendous. I can’t tell you how angry I’ve been at the football at times, as a fan. My mild mannered FIL goes absolutely batshit. I can’t quite believe it afterwards. Agree that it’s totally embarrassing when you have guests and especially 15 year olds because he should really be setting an example. But he’s not a hideous man who needs divorcing simply because he lost his rag at the tv tonight.

His strops over minor things like cups and bins are far less understandable and he needs to stop being so highly strung.

But if he’s a city fan - I’d cut him some slack tonight. His stress levels will have been through the absolute roof. It was a major game which got so heated that the players ended up in a mass brawl at the end.

It's pathetic to get so worked up over a game. He needs to grow up.

The football thing is revolting but seems to be fairly common.

The short fuse over little things like bins - not nice.

@Thumpkin

I’m going to give you a very different opinion. Is he a Man City fan? The game will have been incredibly stressful. Think of being rear ended in a crash and there then being road rage directed at you - that kind of stressful. It’s hard for non-fans to understand just how emotive football gets. People are still bitter and upset about results years later. People end up in tears and screaming in stadiums and the swearing can be horrendous. I can’t tell you how angry I’ve been at the football at times, as a fan. My mild mannered FIL goes absolutely batshit. I can’t quite believe it afterwards. Agree that it’s totally embarrassing when you have guests and especially 15 year olds because he should really be setting an example. But he’s not a hideous man who needs divorcing simply because he lost his rag at the tv tonight.

His strops over minor things like cups and bins are far less understandable and he needs to stop being so highly strung.

But if he’s a city fan - I’d cut him some slack tonight. His stress levels will have been through the absolute roof. It was a major game which got so heated that the players ended up in a mass brawl at the end.

No.

The feelings are acceptable. The behaviour isn't.

What a pathetic manchild. Being 'passionate' about a hobby is no excuse for that behaviour. I would find it deeply unattractive in a partner tbh.

I’m going to give you a very different opinion. Is he a Man City fan? The game will have beenincrediblystressful. Think of being rear ended in a crash and there then being road rage directed at you - that kind of stressful. It’s hard for non-fans to understand just how emotive football gets.

Why on earth should football be accorded a special emotional status above other hobbies and interests? What causes this kind of behaviour is the attitudes and personalities of the people doing it (and the fact that for sone reason it's an accepted part of football culture), not anything inherent about the game. Comparing it to the stress of a dangerous situation like a car crash is ridiculous and pretty offensive imo. It's a game.

Rugby causes shouting here but not that kind of language. Certainly not when you had guests YANBU