Page 2 | Husband screaming and swearing at the football

Santandave · 2022-04-13T21:03:23+00:00

My husbands fave team are playing, he is screaming and swearing at the tv, my 15 year old has her friends sleeping over, I just texted him from upstairs saying “you are REALLY loud” and he replied “so? It’s my house” I’m disgusted at his attitude, my poor daughter! They are watching a film really loudly but I can’t imagine they can’t hear him! He’s dropped the c bomb about 5 times I’m so embarrassed. I’ve spoken to him before about how emotional he gets watching football and his general outbursts of temper (if someone drops a cup or we forget to put the bin out he totally angrily overreacts) I don’t think this is normal, am I wrong? Am I being unreasonable?

llm24 · 13/04/2022 23:07

@RonWeasleysBackfiringWand

“Don’t football matches precipitate domestic violence? “

wha kind of statement is this 😞

Ginger1982 · 13/04/2022 23:08

@Thumpkin

I’m going to give you a very different opinion. Is he a Man City fan? The game will have been incredibly stressful. Think of being rear ended in a crash and there then being road rage directed at you - that kind of stressful. It’s hard for non-fans to understand just how emotive football gets. People are still bitter and upset about results years later. People end up in tears and screaming in stadiums and the swearing can be horrendous. I can’t tell you how angry I’ve been at the football at times, as a fan. My mild mannered FIL goes absolutely batshit. I can’t quite believe it afterwards. Agree that it’s totally embarrassing when you have guests and especially 15 year olds because he should really be setting an example. But he’s not a hideous man who needs divorcing simply because he lost his rag at the tv tonight.

His strops over minor things like cups and bins are far less understandable and he needs to stop being so highly strung.

But if he’s a city fan - I’d cut him some slack tonight. His stress levels will have been through the absolute roof. It was a major game which got so heated that the players ended up in a mass brawl at the end.

Eh...no. It's pathetic that a grown man can't stop himself screaming and swearing at a football match.

Phewthemutinyworked · 13/04/2022 23:10

It actually was really stressful…I was talking to my son about something quite serious and he got really stressy about the match …he doesn’t even support the two teams 🙄

Momicrone · 13/04/2022 23:11

What a load of bollox

Cherrysoup · 13/04/2022 23:12

Very embarrassing given your dd has mates over. He really needs to cool his jets when there are friends around. I bloody hate football and the passion it raises.

DeckTheHallsWithGin · 13/04/2022 23:12

@Thumpkin

I’m going to give you a very different opinion. Is he a Man City fan? The game will have been incredibly stressful. Think of being rear ended in a crash and there then being road rage directed at you - that kind of stressful. It’s hard for non-fans to understand just how emotive football gets. People are still bitter and upset about results years later. People end up in tears and screaming in stadiums and the swearing can be horrendous. I can’t tell you how angry I’ve been at the football at times, as a fan. My mild mannered FIL goes absolutely batshit. I can’t quite believe it afterwards. Agree that it’s totally embarrassing when you have guests and especially 15 year olds because he should really be setting an example. But he’s not a hideous man who needs divorcing simply because he lost his rag at the tv tonight.

His strops over minor things like cups and bins are far less understandable and he needs to stop being so highly strung.

But if he’s a city fan - I’d cut him some slack tonight. His stress levels will have been through the absolute roof. It was a major game which got so heated that the players ended up in a mass brawl at the end.

No excuse. It’s a stupid football match. Grow up and behave like adults.

1smallhamsterfoot · 13/04/2022 23:13

@Thumpkin it’s a fucking GAME. grow up

Sh05 · 13/04/2022 23:14

I think he's stupidly doing it on purpose, does he think your dd's friends will think he's cool or something crazy like that?!?

LauraNicolaides · 13/04/2022 23:14

@TheLightSideOfTheMoon

I wonder what it is about football which gets people so worked up.

Are there any interesting articles covering the psychology of it?

It's something from our tribal past I'm guessing? In which case it's really pretty ugly, it's a kind of acceptable xenophobia.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 13/04/2022 23:16

Getting angry about cuos being dropped unacceptable, Getting passionate and very loud and even swearing at football absolutely totally normal.

JaneJeffer · 13/04/2022 23:16

The commentary was totally hyping everything up and out of proportion. I had to laugh after the NI manager's stupid comments about women in football being too emotional.

WindyKnickers · 13/04/2022 23:17

It's. Just. A. Game. It's. Just. A. Game.
I don't accept at all that football has some special status and the people are allowed to behave like this because a team lost. If he were in the stadium, absolutely, language is expected. Even in the pub, fine, within reason depending on who else is using the venue. But not at home with kids in the next room. If he can't control himself appropriately for the environment maybe he needs to have a think about getting help.

22Giraffes · 13/04/2022 23:18

The City match was very stressful, me and both dc's were shouting at the tv, they way they were treated was awful and it ended up in a big brawl! No it's not great to be shouting and swearing but football does make people passionate, which seems to be very looked down on, especially here. Maybe I'm more laid back than most though, seeing as I don't shudder in horror at the C word and I certainly wouldn't stop my dc visiting a friend who's dad shouted at the telly when the footie was on!

Momicrone · 13/04/2022 23:18

It's narrow minded blinkered rubbish.

Momicrone · 13/04/2022 23:19

It's not stressful, not what I consider stress

MerryMarigold · 13/04/2022 23:25

I’m going to give you a very different opinion. Is he a Man City fan? The game will have been incredibly stressful

My DC and DH are UNITED fans and they were screaming and shouting (albeit no C words - though watching the replay I can see how a fan may be tempted!) and kept running into my room to give me updates. It was incredibly stressful/ exciting. And your message was a bit priggish. If you'd gone down and said, "Can you keep it down a bit, DD might be a bit embarrassed b about your language" in a nice way, he might not have got arsey. Not saying that 'because he's a man' but dh frequently gets my back up and I just think, if only you'd asked nicely this wouldn't have escalated.

Momicrone · 13/04/2022 23:27

So just blokes swearing at the screen

weeeeeeeeee · 13/04/2022 23:30

I have to admit to moaning when DP puts on another stupid football match on the telly. I usually sit on my phone until it's over.

But even I started watching this after DP was shouting and then I ended up shouting at the telly too.

RonWeasleysBackfiringWand · 13/04/2022 23:45

@llm24 What do you mean?

Perhaps you have misunderstood the comment. Just google “football and domestic violence” and you will see there is a recognised link.

In my book it’s just another excuse for bad men to behave criminally.

Newrumpus · 14/04/2022 00:04

The only unreasonable thing is if your husband is a City fan.

There is always lots of pearl-clutching about fans’ exuberance by those who don’t understand it.

I agree he sounded a bit rude.

ilovesooty · 14/04/2022 00:33

@AndAsIfByMagic

It's pathetic to get so worked up over a game. He needs to grow up.

There speaks someone who has no understanding of football.

My friend, her husband and I got very worked up. There was no one else in their house though and although we shouted and swore we didn't call anyone cunts.

backtobusy · 14/04/2022 00:52

[quote llm24]@RonWeasleysBackfiringWand

“Don’t football matches precipitate domestic violence? “

wha kind of statement is this 😞[/quote]
An accurate one.

ldontWanna · 14/04/2022 00:57

The football part wouldn't bother me. I mean I'd roll my eyes and ask to keep it down but get over it.

The last part of your post though sounds really toxic and stressful. Are you all walking on eggshells to try and avoid and angry outbursts?

ManateeFair · 14/04/2022 01:43

This is one of those posts where the OP asks about something that doesn’t really matter much in the big scheme of things (shouting at the football within earshot of some teenagers who definitely hear that word at school on a daily basis and won’t be shocked by it) and then casually adds something at the end as a by-the-way that is, in fact, the actual problem (massive temper outbursts at the family for tiny things like dropping a cup).

The football and his reaction to it is not the issue here. The issue is that he has a stinking temper that he takes out on his own family.

I love love LOVE football. I have definitely shouted furiously at the telly and called players c*nts before and so has DP. We also do pretty much the same when watching Question Time. But the difference is that we never shout or swear at each other, ever. We’ve never had a proper row and we’ve been together for 19 years.

Essentially, everyone on this thread needs to stop focusing on the Nasty Shouty Football With Its Sweary Men and actually consider the thing that matters, which is the fact that this dickhead blows his top at his wife and kids when they forget to put something in the bin or accidentally drop something.

WhatTheWhoTheWhatThe · 14/04/2022 01:55

@Thumpkin

I’m going to give you a very different opinion. Is he a Man City fan? The game will have been incredibly stressful. Think of being rear ended in a crash and there then being road rage directed at you - that kind of stressful. It’s hard for non-fans to understand just how emotive football gets. People are still bitter and upset about results years later. People end up in tears and screaming in stadiums and the swearing can be horrendous. I can’t tell you how angry I’ve been at the football at times, as a fan. My mild mannered FIL goes absolutely batshit. I can’t quite believe it afterwards. Agree that it’s totally embarrassing when you have guests and especially 15 year olds because he should really be setting an example. But he’s not a hideous man who needs divorcing simply because he lost his rag at the tv tonight.

His strops over minor things like cups and bins are far less understandable and he needs to stop being so highly strung.

But if he’s a city fan - I’d cut him some slack tonight. His stress levels will have been through the absolute roof. It was a major game which got so heated that the players ended up in a mass brawl at the end.

Oh please what a load of shite! The idea that a game of football should be so stress inducing to functioning adults is a pile of horse shit it really is. It’s just the pathetic mentality of many (not all but many) football fans. It’s an excuse to act like a dick and dress it up as passion about a team of well paid men kicking a ball about. Christ even the players don’t give a shit about the actual team they’ll move around to the highest bidder! Have a word with yourself