Husband screaming and swearing at the football

[Santandave]

My husbands fave team are playing, he is screaming and swearing at the tv, my 15 year old has her friends sleeping over, I just texted him from upstairs saying “you are REALLY loud” and he replied “so? It’s my house” I’m disgusted at his attitude, my poor daughter! They are watching a film really loudly but I can’t imagine they can’t hear him! He’s dropped the c bomb about 5 times I’m so embarrassed. I’ve spoken to him before about how emotional he gets watching football and his general outbursts of temper (if someone drops a cup or we forget to put the bin out he totally angrily overreacts) I don’t think this is normal, am I wrong? Am I being unreasonable?

Because you get emotionally invested in a match it doesn't mean you're not a functioning adult.

My friend and I will be doing it all over again on Saturday and there's nothing wrong with our adult functioning.

People have different things that matter to them. No need to sneer.

I’d be a lot more worried about him getting angry over someone accidentally dropping a cup or forgetting to do something than I would about him shouting at the tv when there’s a match on. Your poor DD must be a nervous wreck!

Your dd must be so embarrassed. No doubt they will tell other friends about your do. What a shit he is.

Lol. No wonder England never wins anything worthwhile when the majority couldn't care less about a game/a ball being kicked. To win a world cup you need just about the ENTIRE country passionately behind the team every step of the way. Granted your DH was watching a league match.

Having said that, your DH's language and volume was rather unacceptable considering your DD had mates over. He could have toned it down regardless of how tense the game was. There's a time and place for screaming and swearing when your team is playing.

@RonWeasleysBackfiringWand
@backtobusy

It’s the fact you think all men
that watch football are going to automatically be violent towards people

@llm24 It’s the fact that you’re making things up that’s amusing me.

I think nothing of the sort.

@RonWeasleysBackfiringWand

Why make the statement in the first place
The OP did not mention anything about violence
What made you write that statement , I’m struggling to understand
The OP spoke about the conduct of her husband in front of children- which was way over the top

There is are well documented links, however, between losing football matches/cups and a rise in reports of domestic violence. Also hooliganism. That does not mean that ALL men who follow football are violent, it means that men who are football fans are more likely to be perpetrators of domestic violence or participate in football hooliganism.

My husband is just the same. He watched the football at the weekend in our living room and we were all treated to screaming and swearing at the TV. He manages to behave normally at almost every other time but not when the football is on. It drives me insane.

Football fans are so obsessive and selfish about their obsession, expecting everyone to understand their obsession, which has come from where they happen to be born or happen to live, its ridiculous

@Momicrone

Really so the millions of sports fans all around the world don’t obsess about their team / individual of the sport they love, try to involve their family and friends - just football fans 😂

@llm24 I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you really don’t understand.

The OP said this “man” has outbursts of temper towards his own family over trivial matters like forgetting to take the bin out . To me, this is bordering on, if not fully in, the territory of domestic abuse. It’s terrible that anyone has to live in dread of a grown man in their house treating them badly BeCauSe FoOtBAll.

I had an ex like this. He was obsessed with Newcastle united and whenever they lost (often) he would become a different person. Even my male friends were bemused by it. It was deeply unpleasant.

He was a total twat for many reasons and I don't miss him at all.

Vile.

What is this modeling for your daughter?

Men like this are the opposite of sexy.

How do you feel about his behaviour patterns OP? Had a titful yet or can you manage to rationalise his outbursts (that I bet he doesn't do at work)?

@RonWeasleysBackfiringWand

I understand perfectly well
Just wondering though if the OP had posted her hubbie was watching a game of Tennis would we be having this conversation

It’s the generalisation of men who have a passion for football are or will go onto commit domestic violence that I don’t understand

Essentially, everyone on this thread needs to stop focusing on the Nasty Shouty Football With Its Sweary Men and actually consider the thing that matters, which is the fact that this dickhead blows his top at his wife and kids when they forget to put something in the bin or accidentally drop something.

THIS!!!

The problem here is not the sodding football. But as usual Mumsnet thinks football is intrinsically evil and solely responsible for male violence.

I also shout a lot at the football. My ex partner, who was a violent abuser, hated football, and hated the fact that I loved it. In fact, stopping me from watching it was one of his controlling behaviours - if I was watching my club, or England, on TV he would suddenly decide we should watch a DVD or have sex or that he needed me to sort something out for him immediately, and then get angry and aggressive if I said no. He also slammed my house keys into my face once because I had a club key-ring instead of one with a picture of him or his son in it (wtf).

Worry about the temper he shows towards you and your kids, OP, not about the temper he shows towards a TV screen during a big match.

@llm24 Ah I see you have a sensitivity around this. I’m afraid that’s entirely your issue. And no, we wouldn’t be having this conversation because I am yet to see a link between Tennis and DV.

My point was valid and relevant. There is a correlation between football and domestic violence on a national level.

I did not say that all men with a passion for football are perpetrators of domestic violence either now or in the future; you put these words in my mouth.

[quote llm24]@RonWeasleysBackfiringWand

I understand perfectly well
Just wondering though if the OP had posted her hubbie was watching a game of Tennis would we be having this conversation

It’s the generalisation of men who have a passion for football are or will go onto commit domestic violence that I don’t understand[/quote]
The football/domestic violence phenomenon is a well recognised pattern. The rate of domestic police matters rise significantly after a big footie match and social workers report more abuse/physical assaults directly after too.

This is not assumptions being made on here. It's proved by statistics.

Did you check with DH before agreeing the sleepover? Football is big in our family too and I wouldn't dream of arranging something like that with a big game on (we moved our first trip abroad for three years so DH and DS can go to Wembley on Sunday).

If DH is a City fan I think it was wrong to have people over given the importance of the match.

It sounded horrendous tbf, I'm a Red but even I'm celebrating that City are through

Other anger points are different issue

Remind him it's just a game.
It doesn't matter who wins or loses.
It's the taking part that's important.

I can completely relate to the shouting at the screen during sport (though not football) to the point that I would never watch in public or have anyone in the house while certain events are on. That he wouldn't be mindful of his language, and his reaction to your reasonable request to tone it down is disgusting though. And the fact that he loses his temper over minor things is worrying.

@justasking111

Rugby causes shouting here but not that kind of language. Certainly not when you had guests YANBU

I do drop the odd f bomb when watching rugby but never the c bomb.

"Lol. No wonder England never wins anything worthwhile when the majority couldn't care less about a game/a ball being kicked. To win a world cup you need just about the ENTIRE country passionately behind the team every step of the way. Granted your DH was watching a league match."

What the hell? So the whole country swearing at the TV will make us win stuff? Is this some Harry Potter magic type of thing? Can we collectively make other events happen by all swearing at the TV in unison? More research is clearly needed into this phenomenon.

@refreshingseahorse