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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How many friends do you have

142 replies

peacock101 · 13/04/2022 06:57

As an adult how many friends would you consider that you actually have, where you'll meet up with them in real life?

I'd say I have less than 10 and closer to five that I'd get into deep conversation with.

Meet ups are rare and the diary is often open and available.

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 13/04/2022 07:06

I have 1 proper, true friend I can rely on.

Looloohoohoo · 13/04/2022 07:14

I out grew a lot of friends in the past year and a half, which has left me with one friend who I try to speak to/see when I can. I have a couple of “mums from the school” friends but would only really arrange to meet up with them if it was more of a playdate for the kids.
I’ve also recently relocated closer to my hometown (about 60 miles from previous town) so seeing the usually friend/mums I connected with is much more difficult now. I could reconnect with childhood friends (I still speak/see one on a rare occasion) if I wish but im sceptical whether or not they are going to be the type of friends I want as an adult due to some of their social media post (alot are still very immature).
Im happy at the moment with the way things are but im sure I will acquire more friends from work/college and kids school.

Jesstoimpress · 13/04/2022 07:17

Just 2 friends now outside of work. I thought I had more until covid hit. I checked in with them, they didn't.
Several work friends that I occasionally socialise with.
I'd like more friends but working full-time I struggle to get to know anyone outside of work now.

HAF1119 · 13/04/2022 07:18

3 :) happy with that!

BrickingIt44 · 13/04/2022 07:18

Zero. Not a one.

Furrbabymama87 · 13/04/2022 07:19

None really. I've got a couple of school mum friends that I text and do child based things with and I've got 2 old school friends who I text a lot but rarely meet up with, but when we do it's like we haven't been apart. But no one that I could call at a minutes notice to go out with or for support. I've got 4 kids and I haven't worked for a few years so I don't really meet new people, and tbh I've always been quite an awkward person and found it hard to make and keep friendships.

StopStartStop · 13/04/2022 07:19

None. And that's absolutely fine.

Onlyrainbows · 13/04/2022 07:19

Actual friend? 0. Acquaintances maybe like 5-6.

Piper22 · 13/04/2022 07:21

I have a lot, from all different parts of my life, all at different ages and from different backgrounds. I truly don’t understand how people can end up with a not a single friend? Is that through choice?

Ostryga · 13/04/2022 07:21

4 really close friends and maybe 7/8 outer circle friends I go have dinner or drinks with.

BHX3000 · 13/04/2022 07:21

One really good friend I can rely on, or tell her anything at any hour of the day or night. Younger sister is also a good confidant, so that makes 2 very close people.

Dozens of ‘friends’ I regularly socialise with, from work, church, old uni colleagues, but I wouldn’t tell them personal issues or holiday with them.

BHX3000 · 13/04/2022 07:22

@BHX3000

One really good friend I can rely on, or tell her anything at any hour of the day or night. Younger sister is also a good confidant, so that makes 2 very close people.

Dozens of ‘friends’ I regularly socialise with, from work, church, old uni colleagues, but I wouldn’t tell them personal issues or holiday with them.

Also meant to say, my best friend is a 3h flight away and my sister a 1.5h flight away, so we don’t meet very often. 3-4 times a year max - but we’re in constant contact throughout the day and will often call or video chat at the weekends.
crosbystillsandmash · 13/04/2022 07:31

I have 4 very close friends who I'm in daily contact with and see at least once a week. They are like sisters, I love them and their families and can't imagine live without them.
I have another 6 friends who I'm in regular contact with and meet up for coffee, socialise with etc

These all live in the same city as me, I have other friends who have moved away etc who I keep in contact with but who I see maybe once a year, sometimes less. These are friends I've known for decades, so when we meet up it's always lovely and something I really look forward to.

0atbiscuit · 13/04/2022 07:37

Lots. Friends from school 25 years ago. Friends from party days. School mum friends. Friends from work. Internet friends! I love being a good friend Smile

SheSaysShush · 13/04/2022 07:39

Meet up with/have deep conversations with - 6

UmbilicusProfundus · 13/04/2022 07:41

Dozens. From school, university, various jobs, other school parents.

HelloDulling · 13/04/2022 07:45

6 or 7 really close friends, some local so I see them regularly, some further away for I see a couple of times a year; and another 12 or so who I meet up with, go for dinner/coffee in a group etc.

Oysterbabe · 13/04/2022 07:45

I have 6 friends that I consider close friends, that I've know for 20 years and can tell anything too. Probably about the same again of less close friends, I'm fond of them and will meet for a drink from time to time.

Ikeptgoing · 13/04/2022 07:48

I have about 20 close friends from 4 different groups (including spouses I'm as close to, for eg in uni friends gang). I come from a huge family (whom I'm also close to), so I must be sociable somehow although I'm not an extrovert at all. I've collected these friendships over several decades... (these are all very close friends who I or they would drop everything to help and not just in an emergency).

No friends that I see at a "3x week level" though. (But I don't know anyone my age with families that do see friends who pop round to see each other that often. ... Only the late 20 year olds at work have 'bestie friends' like that)

Notdoingthis · 13/04/2022 08:01

People I make an effort to meet up with

  • school friends x 4
  • former colleagues x 6
  • travelling friends x 2
  • mum friends x 9
  • hobby friends x 3
  • uni friends x 2
  • post uni friends x 8
  • neighbours x 1
I think that is 30+.
2DogsOnMySofa · 13/04/2022 08:02

I have 3 close friends and a bunch of 'mates' although most of them are through a sport that I don't play anymore so probably won't see them from one month to the next

Footgoose · 13/04/2022 08:04

None . And I’m perfectly normal. I think.

MrsSpooner · 13/04/2022 08:07

Various people I meet up for a coffee with but no one I could just pick up the phone to because I’m feeling low, & no one I feel I can talk to about some things I’m going through right now.

Nocaloriesinchocolate · 13/04/2022 08:07

I think it depends how you define “friend”. There are a lot of people I chat to a lot but this is when doing my voluntary work, plus the neighbours. Maybe 2 or 3 whom I would call friends whom I see rarely but we pick up the friendship when we do meet. Really close friends to whom I could pour out everything - probably none. Though when my cat was pts last week I talked to one of my voluntary mates about it at length because s/he is an animal person too.

In terms of people who’d come to my funeral, a lot I think if I beat them to it!

But I’m happy as I am - happy with casual social contact. I am best friends with DH (yuk alert) but whilst I would miss him desperately, being alone in itself wouldn’t be a problem.

resuwen · 13/04/2022 08:11

People I would meet 1 on 1 for a chat/ coffee - maybe 7 or 8.

People I would invite for dinner/ hang out with in a group - maybe another 10-12.

Lots of acquaintances.