How many friends do you have

[peacock101]

As an adult how many friends would you consider that you actually have, where you'll meet up with them in real life?

I'd say I have less than 10 and closer to five that I'd get into deep conversation with.

Meet ups are rare and the diary is often open and available.

Those who have lots of friends - just how do you do it 🤷🏻‍♀️

I don't have an outlet through work to engage with colleagues as my firm is remote/virtual and I only work alongside one other who I speak to/see regularly and we get along great but she has her own friends and actually when I had a break from work, I hardly heard off her unless I made the effort.

I have lived in a village now for nearly 20 years and seem to have lots of acquaintances but hardly any firm friends who I could really confide in. I have tried everything, got involved in every group going PTAs, book clubs, WI, and still nothing. I think the worst thing is I see quite large groups (cliques I suppose), that socialise here, there, everywhere - it's posted about on social media, there's WhatsApp groups I'm not on but I know exist - it has now given me real FOMO 🤷🏻‍♀️ Maybe perimenopause is making me more neurotic, but it feels like the school playground all over again. Some acquaintances I can socialise with every now and again tell me the stuff that they are invited to and participate in, parties, nights out, weekends away, and I try and make the right noises like "oh that sounds fun - if it happens again, count me in" but nothing is ever forthcoming and then I think to myself that I'm not going to foist myself on people 🤦🏻‍♀️

I seem to be one of those people that others think "oh Itsadogslife, yeah she's lovely" but they never seem to want to include me. I sometimes wonder whether it is because they assume I have other friends 🤷🏻‍♀️

I've also seen others in these groups who are really strong personalities, one who prides herself on being marmite with strong opinions and behaviours, another who has during covid crossed over into anti vaxxer and conspiracy theorist territory, both who are still welcome into the fold 🙄

Maybe I'm too "beige" 🤷🏻‍♀️

10 and six of them are v close

Tricky question, it's got me thinking!

I'd say I have about five 'best' friends, probably another six really close friends, and I find it hard to count the others but at least another fifteen or so that I would say are friends. Then mates who I see occasionally over shared interests but who I wouldn't necessarily think to check in with if we hadn't spoken for a while.

Quite difficult to quantify frienships.

4 really close friends who I can confide in about anything and who I love dearly, plus my sister if she counts, she is really my best friend of all.

A further 5 friends who are work colleagues, we socialise a lot together and support each other through difficult times.

Then about 6 others who I’m less close to and know through other people (friends of friends) but speak to and meet up with now and again.

I’ve been a single parent to an only child for 16 years now, I’d be very lonely if I didn’t have friends, they are my only source of support and companionship.

I have about 20 female friends I speak to at least weekly and consider myself fairly close to. Of those, I could probably call half very close friends who I can confide anything in, call up at random etc. I then have 6 additional male friends who I don't speak to as often but would consider myself close to, could talk relationship problems with for example.

Probably about 25. That I'd happily message and meet up with 1 on 1. This includes friends from school, uni, antenatal group, work friends I've kept in touch with and neighbours.
Cut off a childhood friend recently as I was fed up with being treated like shit, and realised I have too many other friends to put up with that.

5 good friends for me, they live all over though so it's hard to see them with DCs etc., but we talk often.

Maybe 4 meet up for coffee/toddler group friends. Not that close but they live locally so see them a bit more.

I'm happy not having a huge group of friends, although sometimes wonder if I'm a bit odd/antisocial as (post-uni) I've never really had a 'girls night out' apart from my hen do, but even then it was only a small group of friends and family. I prefer meeting friends one to one or in a small group, I find it exhausting otherwise!

4 close friends who aren't family

I think one aspect in me having maintained a lot of close friendships is that I don't have much family. People have told me they are envious of my friendship groups, but I'm similarly envious of them having lovely close knit families. At my wedding I invited 44 friends, but only had 2 blood relatives.

I went to school where I now live but between then and now I moved abroad, made some really close friends but then moved back here and didn't reconnect with anyone. So immediate friends, close by and can meet up regularly, none. Spread around the world, who I'm still in touch with, about 5. I'm fine with that, I'd maybe like a friend close by but I'm not prepared to have just anyone, lol.

Zero. I hate it, I've never been so lonely.
I have postnatal depression so it's very hard on my worst days not to have one person I could turn to

7 people who I would meet up with regularly if I could (moved far away), have a good time with, could rely on if needed. That includes my sister.

2 who I actually confide in and who confide in me. (also included in the first category)

None really, except my DH. I've got a lot of acquaintances and maybe even some people that I would losely call friends. But they all have their own much tighter friendship groups that I am not a part of, so I think I place much more importance on our relationship than they do. If I needed someone to help me in an emergency, I'd have absolutely nobody.

2 old school friends - 1 I see monthly, the other twice a year

2 friends I made training for my job over a decade ago - see both a few times a year but I’m closer to one than the other due to circumstances

2 mum friends that I made on the playground

A few acquaintances / mates that I made due to work etc

About 8

None, my best mate died in 1999.

5

4 really close friends. 7 lovely people who I would say are more like acquaintances including 3 colleagues who I sometimes meet up with outside work but would quickly lose touch with if we didn't have a workplace in common anymore.

None and also pretty normal. Just the way things are. I’ve moved around a lot. Divorced and remarried. Work from home in the evenings and look after my children all day.

1 true friend (lives 2 hrs away but that has never seemed to matter).

A few colleagues I am very friendly with; a few local friends/acquaintances (I've moved around a lot) - one of which I appear closer to but...none of them are true friends. A few long distance friends that have become more like acquaintances over the years. I've got a couple of emerging friendships slowly developing that I hope can turn into true friendships but I'm pretty realistic about that, I think, and just enjoying them for what they are at the moment.

Definitely room for more but I'm happy to go with the flow, and I'm at the point where I really take Maya Angelou's words on believing people the FIRST time they show you who they are.

Probably about 7 who I see more than once a month, then a few more who I speak to/see slightly less often. I have to say I've met half of these through a shared interest in the last couple of years though, and become good friends through that.

OP you have more friends than me! I would say I have about 4 I am in contact with messaging and even that's only occasionally but very rarely see them and 1 friend I work with who I rarely meet up with outside of work but is a good friend to me.

My partner, my mum and my dad are my best friends in life as they, naturally, are the most reliable when others haven't been. I've never had reliable, close friends ever in my life because people just let me down time and time again.

2 absolute,3 in and out.

None, and neither does my partner. I have one acquaintance (ex colleague) who I will occasionally meet with for a meal who is around 20yrs older than me.

@Itsadoglife

Those who have lots of friends - just how do you do it 🤷🏻‍♀️

I don't have an outlet through work to engage with colleagues as my firm is remote/virtual and I only work alongside one other who I speak to/see regularly and we get along great but she has her own friends and actually when I had a break from work, I hardly heard off her unless I made the effort.

I have lived in a village now for nearly 20 years and seem to have lots of acquaintances but hardly any firm friends who I could really confide in. I have tried everything, got involved in every group going PTAs, book clubs, WI, and still nothing. I think the worst thing is I see quite large groups (cliques I suppose), that socialise here, there, everywhere - it's posted about on social media, there's WhatsApp groups I'm not on but I know exist - it has now given me real FOMO 🤷🏻‍♀️ Maybe perimenopause is making me more neurotic, but it feels like the school playground all over again. Some acquaintances I can socialise with every now and again tell me the stuff that they are invited to and participate in, parties, nights out, weekends away, and I try and make the right noises like "oh that sounds fun - if it happens again, count me in" but nothing is ever forthcoming and then I think to myself that I'm not going to foist myself on people 🤦🏻‍♀️

I seem to be one of those people that others think "oh Itsadogslife, yeah she's lovely" but they never seem to want to include me. I sometimes wonder whether it is because they assume I have other friends 🤷🏻‍♀️

I've also seen others in these groups who are really strong personalities, one who prides herself on being marmite with strong opinions and behaviours, another who has during covid crossed over into anti vaxxer and conspiracy theorist territory, both who are still welcome into the fold 🙄

Maybe I'm too "beige" 🤷🏻‍♀️

This is my life as well. Everyone chats to me, lots of acquaintances that will chat for ages at the park, on the supermarket, playground but that’s it. My husband says I need to make first moves etc but I also don’t want to foist myself on people who already have a full social life.