Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How many friends do you have

142 replies

peacock101 · 13/04/2022 06:57

As an adult how many friends would you consider that you actually have, where you'll meet up with them in real life?

I'd say I have less than 10 and closer to five that I'd get into deep conversation with.

Meet ups are rare and the diary is often open and available.

OP posts:
Ponoka7 · 13/04/2022 08:12

@Piper22, you lose touch, grow up to be different people. Go into different life stages and don't have time. I'm now in my 50's, I've had two friends die and two I broke away from because of alcohol/drug misuse.

ImplementingTheDennisSystem · 13/04/2022 08:12

I had literally NO friends through my 20s and was so lonely.
DH and I then relocated to a new town and made lots of friends in our mid-30s. So now I'd say I regularly socialise with about 15-20 friends. They are all 'mates' rather than deep friends if that makes sense, which suits me.

oliviastwisted · 13/04/2022 08:14

Tonnes of acquaintance level friends mostly work colleagues or former work colleagues/college/school friends and probably less than 10 solid friends. I have a few Mum friends too. I have no family so friends are important to me but I have also outgrown a few long term friendships in recent years as another poster mentioned. I don’t need huge social input but DH and I would usually meet up together with one or the other of our sets of friends every weekend or every other weekend at most. Our calendar is always.

FuggyPidding · 13/04/2022 08:15

I have 4 friends from my uni days but we all live so far apart and have busy lives so hardly see each other which is a shame - and does make me question how close we actually are.

I have about 3 or 4 mum friends I'd confide in and go out for drinks etc.

I'm close to my sister in law too.

I do have another 6 or 7 people I'd call friends and would happily meet for meals etc but not close enough to tell them anything & everything.

I think the pandemic has shown me (and many people) just who friends actually are.

ilovebrie8 · 13/04/2022 08:18

I don’t really have friends close friends. Ended a friendship as I made all the effort I always drove to her, dealt with drama and decided to cut off. I have my DP and am close to my sister so that’s enough for me.

userxx · 13/04/2022 08:21

10 close friends. A fair few not so close but still very important to me.

Everydaydayisaschoolday · 13/04/2022 08:23

I'm very lucky. I have 16 (just counted) really good friends as well as many lovely not so close friends. Some I've known 50+ years, some 'only' about 20 years. Some I see weekly and some I might go months or even years without talking to them but as soon as I see them it's like old times.

My friends are an absolute gift and blessing Sometimes I have moments of self doubt and then I remember the wonderful cohort of people who have my back and I'm so grateful for them.

tokyotolondon · 13/04/2022 08:26

I used to have a few. Then had DC during first lockdown, wasn't able to see anyone then people just kind of.. stopped trying. Now I have 1 good friend who makes the effort. And another who I speak to very regularly but wouldn't say we are extremely close. However, DH is my best friend. But I do wish I had more female friends as a support system Sad

PeeAche2 · 13/04/2022 08:31

I have 2. We talk almost every day in a 3-way-group-chat and meet up about 4 times per year.
We met at work over a decade ago and, even though our lives have zero similarities, we are robust. I love them because it never feels like too much effort.

Outside of our 4-times-a-year meet ups, I don't have any extra mates. But I'm genuinely very happy like that because I really truly love spending all my adult time with husband and extended family. And kids keep us busy.

Frenziedandfurious · 13/04/2022 08:32

Similar, probably between 5 and 10. Only a couple who I'd confide in. I've lost 4 friends over the last few months, they've shown their true colours. A couple I'm not bothered about but a couple I'm gutted. It has made me feel quite lonely. And also what's wrong with me. I tend to attract quite narcissistic people, moreso friends than partners. I clearly stopped being useful to one friend and she's dumped me for a better offer. I'm extremely wary now.

goingpearshaped · 13/04/2022 08:35

Feeling rather friendless at the moment to be honest. Seem to have lost my very good friend (still in contact but she was upset at something she thought I did (I didn't!)). Life has never gone back and I know it is a big change. Another good friend but we never connect as she has lots going on. When we do the time disappears.

So I would say a bit fat 0 of a good friend which makes me sad.

Abouttimemum · 13/04/2022 08:38

I’ve got one I usually meet on our own, a group we meet once a month, and also play dates with the kids every couple months; two different work groups every couple months (would class as friends). Happy with that.

I spend most of my time with my mum and sisters.

Veryverycalmnow · 13/04/2022 08:39

I have about 6. I had loads more before covid. I hate drifting out of friendships but it has happened, sadly.

Pottedpalm · 13/04/2022 08:43

I have 12 or so friends who I see regularly for coffee/outings, mostly ex colleagues, some retired. Closest friend I have known for 47 years. Some are gardening friends.

RosesAndHellebores · 13/04/2022 08:43

As a couple, two couples who would drop everything in an emergency. One originally my friends, the other dh's. In addition I have a former work friend I meet for coffee and DH has a golfing chum.

MRex · 13/04/2022 08:47

I have a few different groups of friends:

  1. The 6 drinking buddies, keeper of all confidences and usually only see them every few months (longer in covid times), but reliably always there if needed, sometimes meet individually but usually a group.
  2. 4 old colleagues; navigated every up and down of the last 20 years together, often over dinner / brunch / park / BBQ - basically food based! Good for work and health issues, or general bereavement / other life challenges; not really for confidences.
  3. School / uni; one fits in category 2, another has regular catch-ups. Mostly the rest have fallen by the wayside since having DS.
  4. Mum group; 4 of them who've been there since pregnancy. Reliable but I don't confide much.
  5. Mum friends who I see regularly; quite a few, but waiting to see which stand the test of time and any catch-up with the little ones.
  6. DH and families... we actually do hang out in ways that could be seen as just friends. E.g. Activities with SIL, BIL and the kids.
gavinc0328 · 13/04/2022 08:54

I'd say the closest friend is my spouse and the only one I rely on. I had a few close friends but when life moves to different stages, e.g. getting married / kids, it becomes harder to keep the relationships especially when we're in different paces. Now mostly I meet the mutual friends between me and my spouse.

DogsAndGin · 13/04/2022 08:58

The problem is - I'm not interested in taking on other people’s drama! I had a friend from school, but I can’t stand the girls she is best friends with. I wasn’t interested in the club 18-30 magaluf scene, and that shut down all of my school friendships.

Again, I was friendly with girls from my previous work, but they were all only interested in one thing… cocaine! Same for my best friend from uni - her life is a chaotic mess of drugs, new jobs, new men, new houses, new friends. Maybe I’m the boring one, but I’m just not interested in drugs or drama - and that seems to really limit who I can hang out with!

I really love the wives and girlfriends of my husband’s friends - and I consider them to be my friends now. I also have a fab time with the girls at work, but I wouldn’t socialise with them outside of work. That’s plenty for me!

JanisMoplin · 13/04/2022 09:00

Not enough. Moved around too much. Trying to make more and I have made a lot of acquaintances, but not friends.

RufustheFloralmissingreindeer · 13/04/2022 09:02

Coffee friends about 25+

It was more like 35 pre covid

I have one friend that i tell almost everything to, and two others that i tell a lot…but not everything

I don’t tell anyone everything

LaurieFairyCake · 13/04/2022 09:04

7 close friends (a sister and 2 sister in laws who I adore)

2 I could say anything to, 1 who would be by my side in an hour if anything happened

yellowwellingtons · 13/04/2022 09:05

One friend, she's the only one who's stuck around and we've been friends since primary school.

JaceLancs · 13/04/2022 09:19

14

sparklecrazy · 13/04/2022 09:29

Just the one. Former work colleague who I have stayed in touch with. Despite living only 5 miles apart we only see each other every few months, we usually meet up for tea. That works for us both. I'm 20 years younger than her but we just clicked many year ago at work. My DH is who I would call my best friend and I trust him with my life. Haven't yet made any what I would call mum friends as such, my twins are in reception. Hoping to make some though.

CharSiu · 13/04/2022 09:42

Friend I could ring in the middle of the night in an emergency for support? I would say 3, My other very close friend died 4 years ago.

People I can go for a coffee with or see occasionally, there are 12. Half live at a great distance unfortunately.