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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think 8am to 6pm at nursery/school+wraparound is just too much

571 replies

magicsoosh · 13/04/2022 03:57

Apparently Mon-Fri 8am to 6pm childcare is normal.. AIBU to think that's a lot? That's more hours than most full time jobs

OP posts:
Waxonwaxoff0 · 13/04/2022 18:52

[quote FairyCatMother]@Waxonwaxoff0 Where did I say that women are inferior to men? Our roles and strengths are different, that does not make either sex superior or inferior. What a poisonous and dangerous mindset you have, so quick to make exaggerated (and inaccurate) assumptions about views that contrast your own.[/quote]
You are the one with the dangerous mindset here, one that would have women being permanently financially reliant on men.

codeVeronica · 13/04/2022 18:53

[quote FairyCatMother]@Waxonwaxoff0 Where did I say that women are inferior to men? Our roles and strengths are different, that does not make either sex superior or inferior. What a poisonous and dangerous mindset you have, so quick to make exaggerated (and inaccurate) assumptions about views that contrast your own.[/quote]
So if what roles and strengths are women worse than men? Aside from peeing standing up.

MangyInseam · 13/04/2022 18:56

I think it's too long, albeit many people really have no option.

An economy where you often need to parents in FT work to get by really is not designed to be good for children. It's mainly designed to be good for the super-rich and corporate employers so they can squeeze as much profit as possible out of workers, and to a certain extent for the state so they can lay claim to more tax dollars.

It's a shit system that has an interest in making sure citizens never question it and resist any kind of real opposition that would give parents more ability to work less..

AliTheMinx · 13/04/2022 18:58

Wow, OP! Welcome to the real world. If it wasn't for these hours, many families couldn't have 2 parents working. My son was at nursery 3 days a week from 10 months. We left the house about 7.45 and got home about 6ish. He was fine! He loved nursery. He's very social. It set him up brilliantly for a seamless transition to school and he is very social and outgoing. We are a very happy family and I find your post really odd. Nursery is a way of life for many families and one with so many positives - why try to bring others down?!

PromotedPartner · 13/04/2022 19:00

@magicsoosh

Apparently Mon-Fri 8am to 6pm childcare is normal.. AIBU to think that's a lot? That's more hours than most full time jobs
Yes you ABU.

Those of us who work 09.00 - 17.00 need those nursery hours. Anything less wouldn't enable us to return to work.

Both of my boys were in nursery. They had a great time. Spent their days painting, splashing, climbing... and also having quiet time when needed. They were better off at nursery - I couldn't have kept them entertained like that all day! They're now perfectly normal, well-adjusted teens.

But you do what you think best.

sweetbambi · 13/04/2022 19:11

@Waxonwaxoff0 surely the term would be egalitarian "believing in or based on the principle that all people are equal and deserve equal rights and opportunities." where as feminism is about advocating women's rights rather then rights for both genders to be equal

AchillesPoirot · 13/04/2022 19:15

I can’t do right for doing wrong on here.

If I’d stayed at home I’d have been benefits scum.

Because I had a job I should’ve been a SAHM.

And now, when it’s a career, I still did the wrong thing by putting DC into childcare.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 13/04/2022 19:20

[quote sweetbambi]@Waxonwaxoff0 surely the term would be egalitarian "believing in or based on the principle that all people are equal and deserve equal rights and opportunities." where as feminism is about advocating women's rights rather then rights for both genders to be equal[/quote]
OK, so then that poster is anti women's rights. Is that any better? Hmm

FairyCatMother · 13/04/2022 19:20

[quote sweetbambi]@Waxonwaxoff0 surely the term would be egalitarian "believing in or based on the principle that all people are equal and deserve equal rights and opportunities." where as feminism is about advocating women's rights rather then rights for both genders to be equal[/quote]
This. If anything, modern feminism has corrupted and poisoned the historic movement that had intended equal voting and citizenship rights for women. It has become about making women 'superior' to men, under the guise of defeating a 'patriachal society'.

FairyCatMother · 13/04/2022 19:23

@Waxonwaxoff0 Yes, I am very much against certain 'rights' that have been afforded to women (and men, in the wider sense), for reasons that I will not deflect any further on.

codeVeronica · 13/04/2022 19:23

[quote sweetbambi]@Waxonwaxoff0 surely the term would be egalitarian "believing in or based on the principle that all people are equal and deserve equal rights and opportunities." where as feminism is about advocating women's rights rather then rights for both genders to be equal[/quote]
The two aren't mutually exclusive.

prettybird · 13/04/2022 19:23

Childminder ds was at (3 of them running it, so more like a mini nursery) was not a "loud" environment Confused

It was literally the house next door so I didn't have to factor in travel time to her, but I did have to factor in travel time to and from work.

Ds went in happy in the morning to the child minder, from 4 months old (all the maternity leave you got back then, if you wanted your old job guaranteed) and came out from there in the evening happy - that's all that mattered to me. Smile And I breastfed him till he was 13 months old (sent in with EBM Wink).

Ditto (once he was older) with the Breakfast Club and After School Club.

We all of us do our best for our dcs and make our own judgements according to our circumstances. It's important that we don't judge others for choices that we don't personally think would be right for our own child. I'm confident in the choices I made for my child, (who is now a happy, confident and secure if occasionally irritating Wink 21 year old, whose company i enjoy Grin).

AchillesPoirot · 13/04/2022 19:25

[quote FairyCatMother]@Waxonwaxoff0 Yes, I am very much against certain 'rights' that have been afforded to women (and men, in the wider sense), for reasons that I will not deflect any further on.[/quote]
What rights are so problematic that you could be against them?

brookstar · 13/04/2022 19:28

[quote FairyCatMother]@Waxonwaxoff0 Yes, I am very much against certain 'rights' that have been afforded to women (and men, in the wider sense), for reasons that I will not deflect any further on.[/quote]
What rights are you against?

voldr · 13/04/2022 19:28

@FairyCatMother

What rights do you think women shouldn't have?

And in what things are women less suited than men?

Organictangerine · 13/04/2022 19:30

I agree. My child does 8.30am to 5.30pm. I feel beyond guilty about it and am on the verge of quitting my job.

FairyCatMother · 13/04/2022 19:30

@AchillesPoirot I will list them briefly on the basis that I refuse to be drawn into any further discussion about it on this thread:

  • Abortion - I am completely anti-abortion, without exception.
  • Pornography - Its availability has objectified and demeaned women
  • Contraception - Its existence has caused the prevalence of the two evils mentioned above.

As you can guess, I am Catholic. On that note I'm signing off for the evening. Wishing everyone a blessed and happy Easter!

AchillesPoirot · 13/04/2022 19:33

[quote FairyCatMother]@AchillesPoirot I will list them briefly on the basis that I refuse to be drawn into any further discussion about it on this thread:

  • Abortion - I am completely anti-abortion, without exception.
  • Pornography - Its availability has objectified and demeaned women
  • Contraception - Its existence has caused the prevalence of the two evils mentioned above.

As you can guess, I am Catholic. On that note I'm signing off for the evening. Wishing everyone a blessed and happy Easter![/quote]
I actually can’t say what I want to.

Except that the coil saved my life and enabled me to separate from an abusive man and make a life for me and my children that is a good life.

Would you rather I had to stay with someone who was abusive?

AchillesPoirot · 13/04/2022 19:34

As an atheist I don’t do easter. 🤐

Organictangerine · 13/04/2022 19:36

My career benefits my children. They have a nicer standard of living and they have options open to them that wouldn't be possible if I didn't work.

I tell myself this but in my heart I know I’m missing out on her childhood Sad

MajorCarolDanvers · 13/04/2022 19:36

And so @FairyCatMother throws grenade and then runs away

Ilovegreentomatoes · 13/04/2022 19:36

My dd hated after school club after a stressful day at school she wanted to relax at home.
My option was to send her one day to a childminder( a lady that she loved) and a day with my mum, the other with my dad.
I was lucky that I had options but I feel sorry for kids that hate afterschool clubs but are forced to go as a parent has no options.

MajorCarolDanvers · 13/04/2022 19:37

@AchillesPoirot

As an atheist I don’t do easter. 🤐
As a fellow atheist I still enjoy the Easter eggs though 😂
AchillesPoirot · 13/04/2022 19:38

I don’t do Easter eggs. I haven’t had one in years and years. I’m probably missing out 😂 but I’m fat enough already.

luxxlisbon · 13/04/2022 19:38

Contraception - Its existence has caused the prevalence of the two evils mentioned above.

You don’t see the irony in being against both abortion and contraception? How does the existence of contraception cause abortion?