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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I hate dummies !!!

327 replies

EsmeDavina · 11/04/2022 17:07

I have a real hatred for toddlers with dummies! It actually irks me so much.

I totally get there is a time and place for dummies to soothe and settle babies.

My own son had a dummy as a newborn but I took it off him/he gave it up at around 6 months.

I could not bear for him to be one of these children you see with a dummy you cannot part them from.

My friends children his age still have dummies and every photograph you see of them they have this unsightly thing plugged in their mouths.

Even when we are out, they are given the dummy for no reason. Not upset, not settling to sleep just automatically put in the mouth.

I never used to have such a thing about dummies until I became a mum and I don't know why they annoy me so much 😂 !!

I know it's stupid because they aren't my children however does it bother anyone else as much ?

OP posts:
AHungryCaterpillar · 11/04/2022 17:31

@Hospedia

All the kids I know who had them late don’t have sen

One of my DC was on the SEN register at school so "has SEN". They were on there due to being behind with their reading, no disability, no medical conditions.

SEN is not a catch-all term to mean disabled.

SEN means Special Education Needs and refers specifically to education/learning. It means someone needs additional support in order to access one or more areas of rhe curriculum.

SN means Special Needs, i.e., a disability or medical condition that could be considered a disability.

While there can be a lot of overlap between the two, it is possible to have SEN and absolutely no SN and visa versa.

They are family members I think I would know if their children have special needs!
ofwarren · 11/04/2022 17:32

I think they look cute with their dummies in.
I love looking at old photos of mine with their dummies.

Mummy1608 · 11/04/2022 17:32

Yanbu @Giraffesandbottoms but you will get abuse for saying that babies root for the breast.

Indoctro · 11/04/2022 17:32

I also hate them never used them with my kids, I felt if there were crying I would soothe them myself, by picking them up.

I don't see the need for them.

AchillesPoirot · 11/04/2022 17:32

Picking up dd didn’t work to soothe her. If only.

MrsAvocet · 11/04/2022 17:34

I don't like them, hence I didn't use one for any of my children. That's where my views on the subject start and finish. My decision, for my children. What other people choose for their own children is entirely up to them and has no impact on me.
I can understand your dislike of dummies OP, but not the strength of your reaction to other people's choices.

Indoctro · 11/04/2022 17:34

@AchillesPoirot

Picking up dd didn’t work to soothe her. If only.
To be fair I prob used my boob as well, so I guess you could kinda call that a dummy , it would have the same affect I guess.

I stopped BF at 1 year so after than I think my kids must of no longer needed that kind of soothing.

AchillesPoirot · 11/04/2022 17:36

Dd has SN.

But you carry on feeling superior

MissDollyMix · 11/04/2022 17:37

Well, that’s your opinion which you’re entitled to and my opinion is that you’re being rather mean and judgemental.
Sucking on a dummy releases endorphins and calms small children. Most adults have an emotional crutch, even if they don’t realise it…cup of tea, bar of chocolate, glass of wine, mobile phone etc etc why should tiny children be any different?
Both of mine had dummies until they were past 3. Both gave it up of their own accord. Both are now much older and have perfect teeth, perfect speech etc etc my youngest in particular is a very sensitive soul and prone to crying. The dummy was enormously comforting for both of us!!

Hospedia · 11/04/2022 17:38

Sadly the baby is no where near a breast, which is why it gets the dummy instead!

And what business is it of yours how someone else feeds their baby? Feeling sad about the parenting choices of others is also weird.

LemonJuiceFromConcentrate · 11/04/2022 17:38

Why are bored twats on the wind-up so keen on the crylaugh emoji? It’s such a giveaway, you’d think they’d learn.

SlashBeef · 11/04/2022 17:40

I prefer parents that give toddlers dummies over snide bitchy huns any day.

muimerp · 11/04/2022 17:40

@EsmeDavina

And as most of the people posting saying I'm being judgemental are missing is as I said 'there is a time and a place'

It's not being judgemental it's an opinion/dislike.

That time and that place are not for you to decide though.

JMKid · 11/04/2022 17:41

I can't stand them one, DC never had them. But then I had children being given a special blanket or Teddy where if lost it creates a nightmare.

eurochick · 11/04/2022 17:41

I also can't stand them. It's the thought of a plastic imitation nipple in their mouths for hours. Yuck.

They are thought to reduce SIDS risk though so I guess they have a use.

Mamabananananana · 11/04/2022 17:42

My DC is 13 months and still has a dummy at naps or bed time as its the only way to get him off my boob otherwise id be a human dummy.
I used to be a bit judgey, but now i realise every mum is just trying to get through the day, alive. Wink

FelicityFidget · 11/04/2022 17:43

@EsmeDavina

And as most of the people posting saying I'm being judgemental are missing is as I said 'there is a time and a place'

It's not being judgemental it's an opinion/dislike.

Yea, a snobby one
Hospedia · 11/04/2022 17:44

FFS, by parents for parents, aye?

Having a baby can be hard. Settling a baby can be hard. If giving them a dummy or a blanket or a taggie or a soft toy or whatever helps to settle them then give them it. Do what needs to be done to get you through the day/night, u guarantee that it is very unlikely you'll be waving your DC off to university with their dummy in their hand.

People who judge other peoples perfectly reasonable parenting choices always make me wonder what it is they're insecure about with regard to their own parenting for them to project so much.

typingcake · 11/04/2022 17:45

Your rage for toddlers with dummies annoys me more than a toddler with a dummy.

I never gave my boy a dummy, I breastfed him till he was 1 and one day I went to get him from nursery and he had a dummy in. They thought he had brought it in with him, I thought they gave him it. Turns out he started stealing them from other babies and that was it. We now have a nearly 4 year old who occasionally has a dummy.

We had a horrendous time through 2020 into 2021. His behaviour flipped and he was aggressively attacking us for hours. I had to get the health visitor and a behavioural specialist involved. A steady routine and sometimes just letting him have the dummy seriously helped him. It was a soother, a coping mechanism for him.

He needs it for comfort and he needs it to get settled. I’m not so worried about it and we’ll get him off it soon.

nopenotplaying · 11/04/2022 17:47

@ldontWanna

Because you have issues and you put too much focus on optics,how things look and what other people think.

You have arbitrary and subjective rules that you either internalised or came up with yourself, and anyone that doesn't follow them, falls short in your eyes.

I bet it's not just dummies either.

You asked.Grin

This!

I have 5 children. Only 1 has had a dummy, my youngest who was premature. Her twin brother doesn't have one. She was given it in Nicu to help her learn to feed. She still has it now at 2 years old, it brings her comfort.

YvanEhtNiojYvanEhtNioj · 11/04/2022 17:49

What age was your DC when they were given a dummy, op? Can I put on my judgey pants and judge you for shoving a dummy in your baby's mouth as soon as they were born?

Soubriquet · 11/04/2022 17:49

Never bothered me at all

Dd had her dummy until she was 3. It was what soothed her and calmed her

Why would I want to cause unnecessary upset just because some people don’t like the look of a dummy?

They all give them up eventually

anewway · 11/04/2022 17:51

I hate them, I mean at least take them out for photos . I know many people who seem to let them have them all the time, they talk with them in. To me over 2 is not a baby, they have their moments, but comfort for failing over doesn't need to be a dummy or a breastfeed.

Hobnobswantshernameback · 11/04/2022 17:55

Oh god
We haven't had a dummy thread for aaaaggggeeeessss

Nature really is healing

Sleepyblueocean · 11/04/2022 17:56

Ds stopped wanting a dummy at 3 months but at 15 he chews his clothing and has special items to chew on. Do you judge that too?

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