I hate dummies !!!

[EsmeDavina]

I have a real hatred for toddlers with dummies! It actually irks me so much.

I totally get there is a time and place for dummies to soothe and settle babies.

My own son had a dummy as a newborn but I took it off him/he gave it up at around 6 months.

I could not bear for him to be one of these children you see with a dummy you cannot part them from.

My friends children his age still have dummies and every photograph you see of them they have this unsightly thing plugged in their mouths.

Even when we are out, they are given the dummy for no reason. Not upset, not settling to sleep just automatically put in the mouth.

I never used to have such a thing about dummies until I became a mum and I don't know why they annoy me so much 😂 !!

I know it's stupid because they aren't my children however does it bother anyone else as much ?

[quote AchillesPoirot]@WildOats5678 believe it or not it’s not just about my dd.

It’s about all those ids who have SN that the op and others are sneering at and saying it’s common and not a good look.

The point is that when dd had her dummy we didn’t know she had any issues she wasn’t diagnosed yet.[/quote]
Mine included.

[quote AchillesPoirot]@WildOats5678 believe it or not it’s not just about my dd.

It’s about all those ids who have SN that the op and others are sneering at and saying it’s common and not a good look.

The point is that when dd had her dummy we didn’t know she had any issues she wasn’t diagnosed yet.[/quote]
I’m fully aware of that as you’ve posted multiple times about it. I do believe it is not all about your DD but I don’t think you do. There are many reasons as to why children have dummies. I think you’ve made your point though about your DD and SN.

If they were called soothers would that help you understand their use?

Some children need soothing more and longer than others.

It’s not just about my dd.

It is about ALL those kids that are being judged and sneered at and it’s not fair. They don’t know they have SN in a lot of cases. Their parents don’t know. So the SN excuse doesn’t apply to them at the time.

If toddlers with dummies bothers you don't look. DS2 has no interest in them at all which is great we won't have to fight it off him. DS1 however was a very hard baby. Constantly rooting even when not hungry. Wouldn't stop crying, wouldn't sleep, wouldn't nap, wouldn't anything without one. It's been hard to get it off him now he's a toddler but it's doing no harm to him. He only gets it for sleep but lately has been plagued by ear infections and has been miserable. So if people would rather he screeched around the supermarket because he's in pain and just wanted a bit of comfort from a dummy then by all means be my guest. That's the only time he gets it other than sleep. Other times for comfort he gets cuddles, but I can't cuddle him while doing the food shop and pushing a trolley. Can't win though. Some judge if they have a dummy, some judge if they scream all the way round the shop. Keep your judgey opinions about other people's children to yourself

To me dummies have a purpose of soothing the child whatever age they are, and to me you can't judge that as the child is happy so that's ideal. The only dummy issue I find is being when a child is trying to talk and can't because dummies there, that's when it's like you just need to take it out the mouth

Seeing older kids running around with a dummy in their mouth does irk me a bit. I never gave my DC a dummy, just for a short term bit of peace it's not worth the longer term problems.

@LemonPeonies

Seeing older kids running around with a dummy in their mouth does irk me a bit. I never gave my DC a dummy, just for a short term bit of peace it's not worth the longer term problems.

Do your DC have SN?

@AchillesPoirot yes my 2.5 yo DS does. He also had colic and silent reflux as a baby but I didn't like the idea of using a dummy so I didn't. I deal with his behaviour in other ways and he has other comforts.

Yeah I judged before I had kids. Now I find it weird that people are offended by something that gives a small child comfort.

[quote LemonPeonies]@AchillesPoirot yes my 2.5 yo DS does. He also had colic and silent reflux as a baby but I didn't like the idea of using a dummy so I didn't. I deal with his behaviour in other ways and he has other comforts.[/quote]
Some children don’t have other comforts that work for them.

@LemonPeonies

Seeing older kids running around with a dummy in their mouth does irk me a bit. I never gave my DC a dummy, just for a short term bit of peace it's not worth the longer term problems.

What longer term problems though? Pretty sure most children give up their dummies before they start school and don’t have any lasting problems.

One of mine had a dummy, the other used me as a dummy instead. Both had to have orthodontic treatment as teenagers because they have big teeth and small mouths which they inherited from their dad. Actually the one who didn’t use a dummy is the one having far more extensive orthodontic work, and also the once whose speech took longer to become clear and understandable.

Other than potential issues with teeth and speech, what other problems are associated with use of a dummy?

Both had to have orthodontic treatment as teenagers because they have big teeth and small mouths which they inherited from their dad.

I really agree with this point and I think it hasn't been mentioned yet - there are other much bigger factors that affect tooth problems like heredity, and big factors that affect speech development like parental involvement etc etc. A dummy has benefits that often outweigh the small risks.

Everything in parenting is about weighing up benefits and risks. Unfortunately lots of people see things in black and white and it's confusing that a thing can be both useful and have risks attached. People can find statistics baffling and worrying and prefer blanket rules. The NHS's paternalistic advice doesn't help (eg no alcohol in pregnancy).

To answer your questions:
Using dummies can be helpful and convenient but there are some disadvantages. The most important concern is that use of dummies can decrease how often as well as how long babies are breastfed for.

Another disadvantage of using dummies is that they might also transport bacteria and fungus, which can increase the rate of infections, particularly otitis media - middle ear infection. Mums whose babies used dummies reported more episodes of coughs, wheezing, earache, diarrhoea and gastroenteritis among babies up to six months old.
Dummies might also affect how baby teeth grow.
I just Don't think they're necessary so don't use them. People coped for a long time before they were invented.

@LemonPeonies

To answer your questions: Using dummies can be helpful and convenient but there are some disadvantages. The most important concern is that use of dummies can decrease how often as well as how long babies are breastfed for.

Another disadvantage of using dummies is that they might also transport bacteria and fungus, which can increase the rate of infections, particularly otitis media - middle ear infection. Mums whose babies used dummies reported more episodes of coughs, wheezing, earache, diarrhoea and gastroenteritis among babies up to six months old.
Dummies might also affect how baby teeth grow.
I just Don't think they're necessary so don't use them. People coped for a long time before they were invented.

They've been around for quite a while .

Pacifiers were mentioned for the first time in medical literature in 1473, being described by German physician Bartholomäus Metlinger in his book Kinderbüchlein, in later editions retitled Regiment der jungen Kinder ("Caring For Young Children").
In England in the 17th–19th centuries, a coral was a teething toy made of coral, ivory or bone, often mounted in silver as the handle of a rattle.[3] A museum curator has suggested that these substances were used as "sympathetic magic"[4] and that the animal bone could symbolize animal strength to help the child cope with pain.
Pacifiers were a development of hard teething rings, but they were also a substitute for the softer sugar titss, sugar-teats or sugar-rags[5] which had been in use in 19th century America. A writer in 1873 described a "sugar-teat" made from "a small piece of old linen" with a "spoonful of rather sandy sugar in the center of it", "gathered ... up into a little ball" with a thread tied tightly around it.[6] Rags with foodstuffs tied inside were also given to babies in many parts of Northern Europe and elsewhere. In some places a lump of meat or fat was tied in cloth, and sometimes the rag was moistened with brandy. German-speaking areas might use Lutschbeutel^, cloth wrapped around sweetened bread or poppy-seeds.

A Madonna and child painted by Dürer in 1506[7] shows one of these tied-cloth "pacifiers" in the baby's hand.
Pacifiers were settling into their modern form around 1900 when the first teat, shield and handle design was patented in the US as a "baby comforter" by Manhattan pharmacist Christian W. Meinecke.[8] Rubber had been used in flexible teethers sold as "elastic gum rings" for British babies in the mid-19th century,[9] and also used for feeding-bottle teats. In 1902, Sears, Roebuck & Co. advertised a "new style rubber teething ring, with one hard and one soft nipple".[9] And in 1909 someone calling herself "Auntie Pacifier" wrote to the New York Times to warn of the "menace to health" (she meant dental health) of "the persistent, and, among poorer classes, the universal sucking of a rubber nipple sold as a 'pacifier'."[10] In England too, dummies were seen as something the poorer classes would use, and associated with poor hygiene. In 1914 a London doctor complained about "the dummy teat": "If it falls on the floor it is rubbed momentarily on the mother's blouse or apron, lipped by the mother and replaced in the baby's mouth."[11]

And so are the complaints. Funny that.

My boy had his dummy ‘til 4. No sen/sn.

Still has his bottle on an evening (he’s nearly 5). Wears pull ups for bed. Sleeps in with us.

Yada yada.

However, he’s so loved. Emotionally intelligent. Sporty. Independent. Hilarious. Great speech/teeth…

Each to their own. Absolutely no need to judge.

Sending prayers for you OP

I have to say I'm surprised how many parents give children their dummies automatically. At nursery pick up time loads of parents give their 2/3yr old their dummies as part of the getting shoes and coat on ritual. Five minutes earlier their child was happy, play and chatting and in no need of soothing! Obviously some children need them longer but sometimes it does seem a habit on the parents part more than the child's.

Yeah, you do realise back then only very rich people would have been able to buy/ use them anyway? They're not a necessity as I've said and me not liking them doesn't affect anyone else.

Hate dummies. But don't care if others use them.

@LemonPeonies

Yeah, you do realise back then only very rich people would have been able to buy/ use them anyway? They're not a necessity as I've said and me not liking them doesn't affect anyone else.

And somehow it was seen as something only the poorer classes would use .

That’s a really interesting post on the the history of dummies @ldontWanna.

@LemonPeonies

To answer your questions: Using dummies can be helpful and convenient but there are some disadvantages. The most important concern is that use of dummies can decrease how often as well as how long babies are breastfed for.

Another disadvantage of using dummies is that they might also transport bacteria and fungus, which can increase the rate of infections, particularly otitis media - middle ear infection. Mums whose babies used dummies reported more episodes of coughs, wheezing, earache, diarrhoea and gastroenteritis among babies up to six months old.
Dummies might also affect how baby teeth grow.
I just Don't think they're necessary so don't use them. People coped for a long time before they were invented.

People coped for a long time before nappies were invented. Did you use those? Lazy parenting in my book 🤣.

The stuff about breastfeeding is bollox. My DD was exclusively breastfed until she self weaned at 2.5. She had a dummy.

@Tumbleweed101

I have to say I'm surprised how many parents give children their dummies automatically. At nursery pick up time loads of parents give their 2/3yr old their dummies as part of the getting shoes and coat on ritual. Five minutes earlier their child was happy, play and chatting and in no need of soothing! Obviously some children need them longer but sometimes it does seem a habit on the parents part more than the child's.

Absolute rubbish. You have no idea what is going on in that family stop assuming based on superficial observations.

"I just Don't think they're necessary so don't use them. People coped for a long time before they were invented."

People coped for a long time before the wheel was invented so they must not be necessary either.