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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I hate dummies !!!

327 replies

EsmeDavina · 11/04/2022 17:07

I have a real hatred for toddlers with dummies! It actually irks me so much.

I totally get there is a time and place for dummies to soothe and settle babies.

My own son had a dummy as a newborn but I took it off him/he gave it up at around 6 months.

I could not bear for him to be one of these children you see with a dummy you cannot part them from.

My friends children his age still have dummies and every photograph you see of them they have this unsightly thing plugged in their mouths.

Even when we are out, they are given the dummy for no reason. Not upset, not settling to sleep just automatically put in the mouth.

I never used to have such a thing about dummies until I became a mum and I don't know why they annoy me so much 😂 !!

I know it's stupid because they aren't my children however does it bother anyone else as much ?

OP posts:
luxxlisbon · 11/04/2022 17:18

No, in fact I roll my eyes at people who can’t bare to see babies/toddlers with dummies.

People will complain about your baby with a dummy, they will also complain when your baby has a meltdown so you can’t win.
Just focus on your own children and stop worrying about the parenting choices of others when they aren’t inherently bad.

Dogsandbabies · 11/04/2022 17:18

@RegardingMary

Doesn't bother me at all.

Judgemental mothers on the other hand...

This!
oliviastwisted · 11/04/2022 17:19

My eldest 2 had dummies until about 3. My youngest had no interest at all.

Not something I’ve really given much thought too but I guess that is my opinion.

Fml1980 · 11/04/2022 17:19

My son who is 7 still has a bottle and will not drink out of anything else! And yep have tried along with many other professionals.
Last time we took it away he didn't drink for 2 days so had to give it back.
My son is autistic and no we don't make him wear a t- shirt to say he is!!

InsufficientOven · 11/04/2022 17:19

Both my children gave them up at 6 months but my sister was 10 before she gave hers up so I know it's not always really simple for kids to give them up and I don't judge the parent either because the amount it upset my sister wasn't ever worth it, she grew out of it naturally and she doesn't go to work with a dummy in.

Original poster
EsmeDavina · 11/04/2022 17:21

And as most of the people posting saying I'm being judgemental are missing is as I said 'there is a time and a place'

It's not being judgemental it's an opinion/dislike.

OP posts:
LemonJuiceFromConcentrate · 11/04/2022 17:22

I think little dc often look quite sweet with their dummies in.

I imagined before having children that I wouldn’t use them (mainly because my mum mentioned that I’d never needed one and she seemed to think that was a good thing). But in the end my two children used them for a long time. They were still early talkers, no issues whatsoever with their teeth … no harm done.

Pegasussnail · 11/04/2022 17:22

I never used them. I felt they would hinder speech or affect tooth development but I know now they have benefits. I couldn't give a hoot what others do. My bug bear is screen time due to impact on education (that affects my work). Anyway - each to their own.

IAMGE · 11/04/2022 17:22

Eldest has one and dropped it at night at 1 and during the day at about 2.

Youngest never took to the dummy but was a thumb sucker no matter what I did gloves etc ended up with his front teeth with about a 1 cm gap and was a real struggle to get him to stop. He is SEN and has ear problems and salt issues but when he did understand it took about 4 months to stop it. The gap has closed massively.

I don’t really give a monkies for judging others. I don’t like it when the child is trying to talk and the parents keep shoving it in. We all do things to self soothe - chewing our lip, rocking, warm bath, hot water bottle etc but when you can’t voice those a dummy is equally valid.

You don’t know the reason for the dummy though.

Original poster
EsmeDavina · 11/04/2022 17:23

😂 aw I do love the keyboard warriors.

OP posts:
AchillesPoirot · 11/04/2022 17:23

What you said in the sentence was

I totally get there is a time and place for dummies to soothe and settle babies.

I hardly think you’d have called dd a baby at 5

waterlego · 11/04/2022 17:24

You’re allowed to have whatever opinions you want. The rest of us are allowed to point and laugh at you Grin

beattieedny · 11/04/2022 17:24

@EsmeDavina

😂 aw I do love the keyboard warriors.
aw do you? Bloody child.
AchillesPoirot · 11/04/2022 17:24

@EsmeDavina

😂 aw I do love the keyboard warriors.
Like you you mean?
RachelSq · 11/04/2022 17:24

I agree with you entirely.

I don’t judge random parents I see on the street, I don’t know their story. I do judge people who I know who just have no interest in removing their 3 year olds dummy that is constantly there “because it makes it easier and keeps them quiet”.

Hospedia · 11/04/2022 17:24

All the kids I know who had them late don’t have sen

One of my DC was on the SEN register at school so "has SEN". They were on there due to being behind with their reading, no disability, no medical conditions.

SEN is not a catch-all term to mean disabled.

SEN means Special Education Needs and refers specifically to education/learning. It means someone needs additional support in order to access one or more areas of rhe curriculum.

SN means Special Needs, i.e., a disability or medical condition that could be considered a disability.

While there can be a lot of overlap between the two, it is possible to have SEN and absolutely no SN and visa versa.

luxxlisbon · 11/04/2022 17:25

I particularly hate watching a newborn rooting for its mother’s breast and having a piece of plastic shoved in despite trying to push it out.

Don’t even know where to start 🙄

AchillesPoirot · 11/04/2022 17:25

@Hospedia

All the kids I know who had them late don’t have sen

One of my DC was on the SEN register at school so "has SEN". They were on there due to being behind with their reading, no disability, no medical conditions.

SEN is not a catch-all term to mean disabled.

SEN means Special Education Needs and refers specifically to education/learning. It means someone needs additional support in order to access one or more areas of rhe curriculum.

SN means Special Needs, i.e., a disability or medical condition that could be considered a disability.

While there can be a lot of overlap between the two, it is possible to have SEN and absolutely no SN and visa versa.

This said what I said so much better.

Dd has SN but no SEN.

Oopsydaisynotagain · 11/04/2022 17:25

YABVU and judgey….

ladygindiva · 11/04/2022 17:26

Dc1 - never had a dummy, didn't need it, but sucked her fingers until a teenager. Orthodontic issues.
Dc2 - a twin, and very high maintenance newborn. Grunting baby syndrome, almost broke me... Also had reflux... had a dummy, gave it up v easily at aged 2 with a bribe of some treat or other.
Dc3 - bad sleeper. Dc 2s twin. Also had reflux... Velcro baby. Dummy saved my sanity and life tbh. Yes she's still using it at night aged 5, but I've tried my best and she's very different to dc2, and is currently under investigation for ASD.
I don't understand why you are so keen to judge. I expect you aren't perfect.

Hospedia · 11/04/2022 17:26

I particularly hate watching a newborn rooting for its mother’s breast and having a piece of plastic shoved in despite trying to push it out

Do you often go around staring at new mothers breasts? Because that's seriously weird.

ladygindiva · 11/04/2022 17:27

Oh and I meant to add that my dummy wearing dcs have straighter teeth and earlier speech than their non dummy wearing sibling.

elidelochanthefirst · 11/04/2022 17:29

My son is 3 and autistic. He finds it very soothing when we are in a busy and stressful place. It gives him grounding comfort. I do worry about his teeth so I try to only get it out when I can see it's starting to get a bit much.

Giraffesandbottoms · 11/04/2022 17:30

Do you often go around staring at new mothers breasts? Because that's seriously weird

Sadly the baby is no where near a breast, which is why it gets the dummy instead! 😬

MissChanandlerBong80 · 11/04/2022 17:31

But nearly all children use something to help them self soothe, don’t they?

Neither of mine (both under 4) uses or used a dummy but the oldest is incredibly attached to his teddy, it has to come everywhere with us. The youngest sucks his thumb. But I’m guessing you wouldn’t be judgmental about that. Or maybe you would?